Nursing Our Broken Seddie Hearts
by Oceanmistsupporter
Summary: Our Seddie Hearts were broken when iLove You came out. This is a collection of Seddie stories we can enjoy while we wait for them to get back together, because they will. Seddie will live on! Rated T for adult themes at times.
1. Chapter 1: Eggshells

**(A/N: After iLove You came out, a lot of Seddiers claimed they had their "Seddie Heart" broken. Even though it's been two weeks after it came out, those Seddiers and me are still really salty about it. So I made this fanfic so we can feel better about it, since that's what I did. I buried myself in Seddie fanfiction to get over it. I wanted to make this fanfic a long time ago, but since this fanfic is just going to be all about the Seddie Relationship, I kinda fell away from it since I'm about as romantic as a piece of wet cardboard. Anyway, I'm going to take a crack at it. Wish me luck. Oh, and one more thing: This takes place with Sam and Freddie steadily dating, as if they never broke up. And I guess they're in their...idk, Senior year? Also, a lot of these one-shots are small but I'll try to update once a day.)**

_1.) Eggshells (Sam's POV)_

"I still can't believe that you two are together," Carly says with a smile.

"Me either." Freddie and Sam say together, exchanging a smile with each other. Even though it is all very sweet, Sam can't help but wonder what she would have said if Carly said that about anyone else she dated. She would have said something along the lines of, "Well, believe it, Shay." and then start yelling at whomever she was dating.

But it was different with her and Freddie. She found herself acting a lot more...civil...when she was around him. It was almost impulse, really, when she would hit and insult Freddie. And it's incrediably hard for her to fight that impulse.

Still, the thought of losing him was too painful, so she guesses it's time to act like a daffidol for a little while. Constantly having to walk on eggshells, fearing that the slightest wrongdoing would make Freddie leave her forever.

She wonders if Freddie has caught on to her weird behavior. Carly hasn't, but Gibby did. He had called her out after she had nearly broken his jaw with a bag of sandwiches on her demonic acts. He claimed that because she loved Freddie, he was her new punching bag.

It wasn't as if she never hit Gibby before, but ever since hitting Freddie was no longer proper Sam behavior, she figured she needed to be beating the living daylights out of someone.

She used to beat up Freddie all the time, but they were dating now. That's not girlfriend behavior. However, it's different for Gibby, because Sam never loved Gibby. So all of the punches and the broken bones will be completely out of sadism, not out of affection.

"C'mon," Freddie says, nudging Sam's shoulder. "My mom will be home soon. Let's head to your place."

Sam nods and stands up quickly, remembering how they were always on the lookout for Ms. Benson. Ms. Benson knew about Sam and Freddie's relationship and hated it so much that she nearly disowned Freddie. So they kept it on the down-low around her, keeping it as much of a secret as they could.

"Yeah, thank you for that." Carly says sarcastically. "Now she's constantly checking here for you guys. She never knocks, by the way."

"Sorry," Sam says. See, there she goes again with the apologizes. Usually she would have said something like, "Suck it up." But now she was here, apologizing.

They go into Carly's elevator like they always do when they're trying to avoid Freddie's mother, and they leave Bushwell Plaza. Freddie drives her back to her house.

"So are you okay?" Freddie asks her.

Sam looks at him. "What do you mean?"

Freddie shrugs. "You've been acting a little..."

"...nice?" Sam finishes.

"Yeah." Freddie glances at her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Sam replies.

"Did Frothy bite you? Because you know, you could have rabies. You know, changes in behavior are a sign of rabies. Also-"

"No, Frothy did not bite me." Sam laughs.

"Then why so...pleasant?" Freddie asks her.

"Oh, so it's not okay if I act civil?" Sam says, her voice on edge.

"No, it's not that." Freddie says, trying not to start an argument. "I just want to know if anything's troubling you."

"It's fine." Sam repeats. Although he's driving, Sam takes one of his hands and holds it. She caught his smirk which he was now desperately hiding. She knows that smirk. That's the _Please-please-please-God-let-me-get-laid-tonight_ smirk. He gives that smirk practically every time they are alone. And most of the time, his wish comes true.

Minutes go by, and they're almost to Sam's house. Finally, Freddie says, "You sure you okay?"

Sam would've lost her temper by then, but with the calmer, girler Sam taken over, she replies, "It's fine, baby. I promise."

"See, there you go again." Freddie insists. "With the whole nice girl thing. If it had been a few months ago you would've slapped me and told me that you were fine and called me an idiot."

"Yeah, well..." Sam looks away. "That was before...you know."

"Before what? Before we started dating?" Freddie parks the car in Sam's driveway.

"Well, yeah." Sam says, as if it was obvious. "I'm not gonna beat you into a pulp or insult you while we're dating."

"But, you're Sam." Freddie sounded confused. "I thought it was programmed into your system to make my life miserable."

He pauses, and says, "So _that's_ why you're so violent to Gibby now."

Sam just shrugs incoherently, not being able to form any words.

"Sam, you don't have to change for me." Freddie says gently.

"But normal girlfriends don't try to dismember their boyfriends!" Sam protests. "Or try to drown their reputation. I'm just trying to be a better girlfriend. What, is it not enough?"

Sam is about to leave the car in anger but Freddie grabs her arm, as if enticipating her next move. "No. Stay." Freddie demands.

"And what's with you being all dominant all of a sudden?" Sam says, trying to change the subject. She secretly liked it but she'd never, ever admit it. "You always tellin' me not to walk away when I'm talking to you, or to stop trying to change, or-"

Freddie cuts her off like he always does by kissing her randomly. Sam can't count the number of times they've unexpectedly kissed. But everytime was so, so bittersweet and thrilling.

They pull apart, and although Sam is smiling now, she says roughly, "That's not getting you out of this."

"Yes, it is." Freddie smiles back. "But seriously, Sam..." he says. "I'm not joking. You don't have to change."

Sam opens her mouth to say something but Freddie ignores her and keeps talking. "I'm serious. I fell in love with the abrasive side of you, didn't I?" Freddie says gently. "Don't you believe me?"

"So you want me to keep hurting you?" Sam says in confusion.

"Well, no, the physical contact can stop." Freddie chuckles. "The constant self-esteem drop isn't so great either."

"Then what do you want?" Sam narrows her eyes.

"Just...hold back a bit." Freddie says. "You don't have to completely change."

Sam looks away.

"C'mon, Sammy." Freddie says, pulling her closer. "Let's go inside."

They walk into her house, and Pam Puckett is "surprisenly" not there. Freddie pulls Sam close to him. "You aren't mad, are you?"

"No," Sam says gruffly. "Just a little..."

"...Upset?" Freddie finishes for her.

She simply shrugs.

"I told you, I fell in love with _you._" Freddie says, imprisoning her in his arms. "Not a daffidol."

"So, I should just...hold back?" Sam asks.

"Only if you want." Freddie shrugs. "Though it would be pretty nice if you stopped kicking me in...places..."

"I get it," Sam finally laughs. Freddie kisses her again, not unexpectedly, just sweetly. But nothing they ever do is sweet, thanks to Sam, as she pulls him closer and kisses him back, harder. Even with her behavior mellowed by her acting girlier, it doesn't stop the impulse, ever. It quickly grows into a make-out, with Sam playing with the hair on the back of his neck, and Freddie lowering his hands bit by bit.

Looks like Freddie's getting his wish tonight.

**(A/N: That's it for now. I'll try to update once a day, but every one-shot is probably going to be rather small. If I update once a day, then we can all get our daily dose of SEDDIE. Haha. Well, later then.)**


	2. Chapter 2: Playar

**(A/N: Hello. Heh, I just wanted to say thanks for the reviews. I already have a 1/5 of reviews of my other fanfic [called iSecrets] and that one has eight chapters. Let's rejoice, Seddiers, cuz I'm 99% sure Sam and Freddie will betogether at the end of iCarly. If you have any ideas for an one-shot, PLEASE tell me, cuz I would love to write it out. I'm gonna run out of ideas soon.)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly, SamXFreddie woulda happened in Season 3 and WOULD STAY THAT WAY.**

_2.) Playar (Freddie's POV)_

"No way!" Sam says, her voice rising with every wordd. "And then what did he say?"

"Then he said that I was the best he'd ever had." Carly says, blinking her long, marscara-whipped eyelashes.

"Can't we talk about something else?" Freddie asks. They're all sitting on the couch in Carly's apartment. Freddie's arm is wrapped around Sam's shoulder, and he nudges her to get her attention. "C'mon, seriously. This is kinda-"

"Do you think Jordan's the one?" Sam asks eagerly, completely ignoring Freddie.

"I think so, Sam, I mean, he's _so cute_, and he has those abs..." Carly looked off dreamingly.

"Which you got to see," Sam snickers, poking Carly on her stomach.

"Ughhh." Freddie groans. Sam and Carly's girltalks were some of the biggest turnoffs he's ever seen, even though it makes Sam ten times more girly than usual. And it's almost always the same thing over and over again; Carly falling in love with some "attractive, sensitive" guy, then two weeks later she sleeps with him (that's when the girltalk gets unbearable) and then they break up and Carly is heartbroken for a week, then a few days later, she finds another guy, and repeat.

Every guy she has gotten with is exactly the same. Jake, Adam, Griffin, Kyle, Steven...and it always ends exactly the same. Freddie wouldn't call Carly a slut; she only dates good guys (except Griffin) and she always truly believes that someday, she will marry this person.

When Freddie had liked Carly, he had always assumed that Carly would change her ways for him, and that everything would be perfect, and the only challenge was simply getting with Carly. They only dated for three days; nothing happened in those three days except kissing. Not even any making out. Sam was the only girl Freddie has done anything controversial with, and he being the perfectionist he was, he planned to keep it that way.

"OMG!" Carly suddenly shrieks. Freddie snaps out of his thoughts and looks at her. "Jordan just texted me and says he wants to meet up! He says he's outside Bushwell Plaza! Oh, I'll be right back!" She runs out of the apartment.

"Annnd there she goes," Freddie snorts, leaning back.

"How long do ya give em'?" Sam asks.

"Four weeks, tops." Freddie replies gruffly. "Maybe sooner."

"She sounds like she really likes him." Sam argues.

"She says that about any guy," Freddie says softly. "And they break up in like, less than two hours."

Sam says nothing, just toys with one strand of her hair.

"How come we're the only people in this place that can hold down a steady relationship?" Freddie asks absentmindedly. Spencer and Carly were exactly the same. They never, ever have had steady relationships.

Now that Freddie thinks about it, Sam is the only steady girlfriend he's ever had. He only dated Carly for two days, and he never offically got with anyone else (not unless Valerie, who used him, counts).

"I don't know," Sam murmurs, pulling Freddie closer to her.

"When you think about it," Freddie says rustily. "Carly's kind of a playar. Every one accuses guys of being playars, but how is Carly any different? She dates guys for a few weeks, then breaks up with them, then dates someone else. I still sometimes hear talk of Adam and Steven's hearts being broken. But it doesn't stop other guys from wanting her."

Sam just shrugs; it must be uncomfortable to talk about her friend that way. "I don't see how it matters," Sam says indifferently. "She really likes the guys she dates; she doesn't try to hurt them."

Sam was looking away now, and Freddie was confused. Why was this bothering her? He examined the upset look on her face. _Was she jealous? _He didn't like Carly anymore; not even a little. That was Freshman and Sophmore year. He'd fallen for Sam in Junior year, dated her in Senior year, and now they're still currently together. He knew Carly was just a heartbreaker disguised in dresses and make-up.

"You aren't jea-" Freddie begins to say.

Sam whirls on him. "No, I am not. Not even a little."

"Sam," He says sternly. "It's okay to be. I get jealous if a guy so much as glances at you."

Sam shrugs. "Why does Carly even matter to you anyway, then?"

"She doesn't," Freddie says. "She just pisses me off, sometimes."

"But if you don't like her anymore," Sam says, sounding confused. "I don't know why you-"

Freddie doesn't know why he does it, but kissing her while she's talking is good for two reasons.

1.) To simply kiss her, because even that is amazing enough.

2.) To start a make-out, which can sometimes lead to getting laid.

3.) To feel the sheer rush of kissing her randomly, unexpectedly.

4.) To shut her up.

Most of the time, it was a combination of the four. At this time, though, Freddie can't help but find himself leaning towards four. But two is always _great_, don't get him wrong.

Sam kisses him back right before pulling away and saying, "But I'm serious! Freddie, do you still like her?"

"Noooo." Freddie says, exasperated. Didn't she believe him? "I mean, do you like any of your exs?"

"No!" Sam says immediately. "Of course not. You know I love you, Fr-" she realizes what she said, and cuts herself off.

Freddie just smirks at her; her saying "I love you" in the same sentence together at one time was very, very rare. And he savors every time she says it, even though he's positive that she feels that way all the time. Just as postive as he was about him loving her.

"C'mere," Freddie says, pulling Sam almost on top of his lap. She leans forward and kisses him, almost bittersweetly. Freddie responds immediately, kissing her back almost roughly. They shift position until Sam is straddled on Freddie's lap, her hands tangled in his dark hair.

Freddie feels this scaling into a make-out, their tongues tangled together. Like everything they have done together in their lives, it's rough and competive and only leading to one thing. Freddie has his hands on Sam's waist, so desperately wanting to either lower them or to slide them up her shirt. Either works, in his opinion. And it's not like Sa thm didn't like it or anything, but they were in Carly's apartment.

They heard the door opening, and they pulled away quick, much to both of their dismay. It was Carly, and her pants were still unbuttoned and she had sex hair. She rolls her eyes at them.

"Yeah, I saw that." Carly snickers. "Please don't seduce each other in my house, thank you."

"As if you can talk," Sam says sarcastically. "Quickie, I assume?"

"In his car," Carly says. That was around the time Freddie checked himself out of the convo, knowing her and Sam would talk about every disgusting detail. Does Sam tell every detail of his and her's sex life to Carly? The idea repulsed him. Carly doesn't need to know any of that.

After her and Sam are done talking, Sam tugs at his hand. "Wanna get going?"

"Yeah, let's head out." Freddie stood up and offered Sam his hand. Sam just looks at him in confusion, but eventually takes his hand.

They go through the elevator, still holding hands. Freddie looks over at Sam and says, "Seriously. I don't like Carly."

"Okay..." Sam looks away.

Freddie can see that it isn't enough, so he pulls her closer, kissing her forehead, right where the blonde curls falls over. "I love you," he murmurs.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam says, shying away from the mushyness. "You know, love you too, n'stuff..."

"Don't play hard to get," Freddie says, wrapping his hands around her waist.

"I'll do what I want," Sam says in her husky voice, although she's blushing at his touch.

"Good to see that the old you is back," Freddie grins.

"You're doing that smirk again," Sam says.

"Huh?"

"That _I-Want-To-Get-Laid-Smirk._ You know what I'm talking about."

"I don't know what you mean," Freddie says, blinking innocently.

"Oh, shut up." Sam snickers, poking Freddie in his stomach. "Now come on, if you're gonna give me that look." She pulls him to his car.

As he walked with her, he couldn't help but think about if things were different. If he and Carly never broke up. That isn't what he wanted; he loved Sam entirely and never, ever wanted to give her up. If Carly walked up to him and asked him out right now, he would rather have Sam. But if they had still been dating in their Sophmore year, all the way until now, where would he and Sam be? Would he be longing for Sam, secretly? Would Sam be wanting him, despite her best friend dating him?

Either way, he didn't have to worry about it, because Sam was his and he was Sam's and now they're getting in his backseat. Where all the fun really happens.


	3. Chapter 3: Confessions

**(A/N: BUH)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly. Sadly. Or any songs, movies, or energy drinks mentioned.**

_1.) Confessions (Sam's POV)_

Sam was lying, half-asleep, attempting to watch Girly Cow with Freddie. She was fighting the tiredness, hanging onto the warm feeling of Freddie playing with her hair. She fell in and out of conciousness.

"You still awake?" Freddie asks her.

"Mmph." Sam mumbles back, snuggling closer to Freddie. They were in his house, with his mother away at the hospital, and they were all alone.

So, Sam spends this time cuddling with Freddie and sleeping, making up for all of their all-nighters.

"Wake uppp." Freddie says, shaking her slightly. "It's only seven-thirty."

Sam just looks at him and shifts herself upward. "Ugh. What do you wannt?"

"This." Freddie just pulls her closer and kisses her, gently. But Sam's eyelids are already drooping again and she falls back, yawning.

"Here, drink this." Freddie tosses her a Monster. Sam fumbles to get it open.

"Open it for me," she moans, falling back.

"You can't open a simple can?" Freddie blinks at her.

"Too lazy to," Sam replies, focusing her attention on the tv again.

Freddie rolls his eyes and cracks the can open. Sam takes it from him and drinks a few sips. "This stuff does _not_ taste like berries."

"All energy drinks have that weird taste to them." Freddie responds.

"Well, it's odd." Sam drinks more of the Monster, rolling her eyes. "Why you want me awake anyway?"

"We haven't hung in like, three days!" Freddie says, looking at her. "And all you want to do is sleep."

"Sorry, baby." Sam replies, forcing herself to sit up. "Haven't really slept in two days."

"Why?" Freddie asks, shifting a blonde curl out of her face and behind her ear. "Your mom keeping you up with her drunken boyfriend?"

"Nah, I finally bought a new pair of earplugs." Sam says, sighing. "I don't know why. Just can't sleep."

"Something on your mind?" Freddie asks, looking into her eyes. Sam loves and hates when he does that. Freddie's always been one to get in touch with his feminine side, but that can make Sam wary. Wary enough to wonder if he'd ever understand.

She loved Carly half to death, she was her other sister God forgot to give her, but they were so different. But while Freddie and Sam call each other different, they think in the same way. They know how each other works. And now Sam fears that bond.

"No, not that I can think of," Sam says, shrugging.

Freddie shuffles in his bag. Sam glances over his shoulder. "Whatchu doin', boy?"

He comes back, this time holding a chocolate bar in his hand. Sam immediately brightens at the prospect of food. "Can I haz it?" Sam asks in a "LOLCAT" accent.

"If you tell me what's wrong." Freddie replies with a smirk.

"But there's nothing wrong!" Sam protests. "Pleaseee."

"I just don't want you to be sad." Freddie says softly.

"And you have _nothing_ to worry about," Sam replies, burying her head into his chest.

Freddie seems to relax at her touch. "If you say so."

Sam finds a bit of her energy returning from the energy drink. "Come on," she says. "You wanted me up. Whaddya want to do?"

"Dunno," Freddie says. "Wanna watch a movie."

"Suure." Sam says, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

They watch what appears to look like a really good action movie, when it was really the sappiest chick-flick to ever exist. Twenty minutes into the movie, Freddie is nearly gagging and Sam already vomited. Twice.

They turned off the movie and Sam groaned, "Why must they trick us into thinking it was going to be good?"

Freddie buried his head in his pillow. "It was God-awful."

Although it was annoying and repulsive, Sam was thinking about what the female character had asked the guy. "When did you first start to like me?" she asks in a bad-acting, over-dramatic voice.

Freddie had asked her that once, and she responded...less than truthful. But she hadn't asked Freddie. She couldn't help but wonder when he actually did. Did she kiss him at the lock-in and decide that he loved her? Or did he start to like her before that?

Suddenly, Sam had to know. She was never one to press for the truth (wait...yes she was) but she needed to know.

"Something on your mind?" Freddie asks her.

"Oh, I don't know..." Sam says warily, still thinking.

Freddie says nothing, simply holds up his chocolate bar.

"Can I have it?" Sam asks, grasping for it.

"Tell me what you're thinking about," he demands. "Then you can indulge in this chocolatey material good."

"Don't use words I can't understand," Sam snaps. "And fine. Whatever."

Freddie looks at her expectantly.

"When did you first start to like me?" Sam asks, trying to distract herself by snatching away the chocolate, unwrapping the wrapper, and stuffing it into her mouth.

"Well, Sammy." Freddie says with a grin, toying with her curly blonde hair. "You never told me the truth of when you first started to like me."

"Huh?" Sam felt something bubbling inside her. Did he know she had lied? "What do you mean? Of course I told the truth."

"Nooo you didn't," Freddie says, his voice rising to that voice he uses when he knows he's right. "That whole thing with me hitting my head on the fire hydrant...tell me the truth. Were you completely serious?"

"Well..." Sam looked away. "I honestly don't know when I started to like you. It was kind of always there. I hated seeing you with other girls...but I didn't know until you got hit. So I wasn't_ completely_ lying."

Freddie just smirks. "I see said the blind man." He says in a fake wise voice.

"Now wait a minute," Sam narrows her eyes at him. "Now it's your turn to spill."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly!" Freddie raises his voice to imitate Sam's. She shoves his arm and he smiles. "Alright, alright. Brace yourself, Puckett."

"Brace myself for what?" Sam says, blinking.

Freddie looks into her eyes. "You remember when I dated Carly?"

Sam looks at him. Where was he going with this? "Yes..." she says warily.

Freddie nods to her, still toying with her hair. "Well, you told me the truth about it. How it was Hero Worship...and how I was only 'bacon' to her. So I broke up with Carly."

"Yeah, and where is this going?" Sam asks, sounding a bit frustrated. Why does he want to keep talking about Carly? What does she have to do with anything?"

"Well, my stupid Sophmore self would have normally sobbed over that. But he didn't. And you know why?" Freddie looks at her expectingly.

Sam blinks at him. "Why?"

"Cause' I realized that there was a certain blonde who had been there, the whole time. The one who cared enough to tell me about how me and Carly wouldn't work out. The one who was a true friend and wouldn't date me simply because I saved her life. And the one I"-Freddie gently pulls her closer, with Sam nearly quivering like she was when she was at Troubled Waters, and how he had shocked her and the world-"had begun to fall for."

Reality sets in, and Sam realizes what he's saying. "You've liked me since Sophmore year and you never told me?" Sam gasps.

"Mhm." Freddie grins. "Was that wrong?"

"Kind of!" Sam protests. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would've ripped my guts out!" Freddie laughs.

"Yeah, well..." Sam looks away.

"If I asked you out in Sophmore year, you would of said yes?" Freddie asks her, his eyes widening.

"Maaaybe." Sam almost growls, refusing to meet his eyes. She remembered the turmoil she felt when Carly and Freddie were together, clinging to the fact that she knew they'd break up. She remembered watching them slowdance, how that tore at her heartstrings. She remembered how she dismissed this all as being high.

"Well," Freddie says indifferently. "It would of been a lot easier for both of us if we had told the truth."

"With no puzzles." Sam agrees softly.

"I don't see how it matters." Freddie says, his voice sounding stronger. "Because we're together now."

Sam pulls him closer. She felt her heart stop, feeling him against her. "I won't let anything break us up," she murmurs.

"I won't allow it," he responds, sounding smitten.

The few sips of an energy drink have faded away, leaving a smaller, not as heavy crash. She lets her eyelids close, feeling Freddie still pressed up against her. She holds onto that as she falls asleep, feeling herself swirl into the violet dreamworld.

But how can she dream if she's already in Heaven?


	4. Chapter 4: Zombies

**(A/N: This one is based off of a true story. I am quite obsessed with zombies and have written books about them. So I kinda brought it here =^.^=)**

_4.) Zombies (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie stares at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. He couldn't even think of a single word to write. He glances at Sam. "Got anything?"

Sam was having zero trouble writing. She had already cleared a page and a half. "Yeah, this is coming along good." she mumbles, hardly paying attention to him.

"Can I see?" Freddie looks over at her paper.

"No!" She moves out of the way, glaring at him.

Freddie rolls his eyes and tries to think. Hmm. He and Sam to write a short story in their English class, and Freddie has zero clue of what to write about. However, Sam is writing away, obviously having a good idea.

Of course, Sam is rather creative, since she comes up with most of the jokes on iCarly and all of the pranks. Freddie, however, is about as creative as an ounce of styrofoam.

"Seriously," Freddie moans. "Gimme an idea."

"Humm..." Sam doesn't break her writing pace. "How about off brand cereal?"

Freddie stares at her. "Off brand cereal?"

"Yeah," Sam says, still not looking at him. "You know...three kids go on an adventure to stop all of the cheap idiots who copy off of good cereal and make it their own. Like...Fruity O's...or Honey Circles...or Cinnamon Squares..."

"What are you writing about?" Freddie asks her.

"It's a secret," she replies, still writing.

"Why can't you tell me?" Freddie asks.

"You'll give me bad luck." Sam states, as if it was obvious.

Freddie turns away and thinks again. Hmm...the Off-Brand Cereal idea wasn't that bad of an idea. Who truly even likes that stuff? Freddie glances sideways at Sam's writing.

When he saw the single word _gore_, he figures he'd better just give her space before she'd recreate what was happening in her story onto him.

Freddie forces himself to start writing, but it comes out as a ramble around technology. He crumbles up the paper and throws it away. He tries the Off-Brand cereal, but that was going no where and he threw that one away as well. He begins to write about different types of fertilyzer...

Not so good as well.

Freddie sighed and crosses his arms over his chest. "I give up."

"Here," Sam says, placing down her pencil and focusing on him. "Try doing this. Write about a personal experience."

"A personal experience?" Freddie says, sounding doubtful.

"Well, yes, but you change it up." Sam says. "You don't exactly say it's you in this experience, and in place of yourself you can be, like, an animal or something. And the trouble you're dealing with can be something different too, another animal or something. Or maybe a force of nature."

Listening to Sam talk all smart was very, very different than usual. Sam was actually one of the smartest people Freddie knew. She just never applies it to grades or school. When it comes to some things, though, like technology or street smarts or writing, Sam excelled in those catagories.

"Okay, I'll try." Freddie takes another sheet of paper and begins to write. An animal, huh. Okay. A dog. A brown dog-hey, that's good-that wanders in the forest. Carefree, except for the Coo-coo bird that follows him around. In this forest, it's always nighttime. Always.

But then, there's a fire. The dog tries to run from it but he keeps getting burned. As he struggles to run from it, he suddenly sees something in the horizon. The sun. He runs towards it.

Freddie stops. _This is awful!_ He realized. Even though it sounds like a kindergartener wrote it, only Freddie knew that it applied to his real life. He remembers the depression he had went through a few years back, how everything was lost. He never told his mom even though she constantly followed him around. And then, he found something (or someone...) that is as obvious as the sun rising above him everyday. And he was just too blind to see it.

"Can I read it now?" Freddie asks Sam, who seems to have finished.

"Go ahead." Sam hands it to Freddie.

It becomes apparent three paragraphs into the story that Sam did not base this off of a true story. Here it is:

_"Here they come!" Bob shouted, his eyes wide._

_ A horde of zombies stumble through the barrier, their un-dead bodies thrusting themselves forward._

_ "Oh, no!" Wailed Camille. "We're gonna die!"_

_ "Quick! Up the tree!" Steve calls. The three teens scrambled up the nearest tree, but it was too late for Bob. A zombie grabs his ankle and pulls him down._

_ "Bob, no!" Camille cries out._

_ The zombies began ripping open Bob's pathetic body, ripping out gore and-_

"Dear God, Sam!" Freddie pushes the paper away.

"What?" Sam protests. "You didn't like it?"

"Is that a cry for help?" Freddie demands.

"No!" Sam says. "It was just a story!"

"It was very graphic." Freddie says warily.

"Well, I read yours." Sam says, handing him his paper.

Freddie braced himself for Sam to reticule him for how awful it was. "How was it?"

"It was good," Sam replies without looking at him.

"You really think so?" Freddie gaps at her.

"Yeah." Sam says, her voice dying down. "Is that wrong?"

"No, of course not." Freddie answers immediately.

Sam still won't look at him.

Freddie pulls her closer. "I liked your story," he says. "It was just...graphic."

"Whatever." Sam shifts him off.

"You wanna know what I liked best about it?" Freddie asks her, smirking at her.

"What?" She says, still trying not to play along.

"It was straight-forward and to the point. Poor Bob, though, I must say." Freddie says.

Sam gives a little smile of her own. "Well, someone has to die eventually."

Sam's phone vibrates. She picks it up and reads the text she recieved. "Oh," Sam says suddenly. "Jordan and Carly broke up."

"Tooold you," Freddie says.

Sam rolls her eyes at him. "I better head over to her place," she says. "You know, to comfort her."

She tries to stand up, but Freddie entangles her in a bear-hug. "You're a good friend."

"I know." Sam says, struggling to get up. "Now let me go."

"Can't you say goodbye first?" Freddie whines.

Sam kisses him then, and Freddie relaxes into the embrace. She pulls away and whispers, "Goodbye."

Freddie pulls her closer, kissing her again, and a few minutes later Sam pulls away and says, "I seriously have to go. It's too bad we couldn't do anything...else."

"Yeah, well." Freddie says, smirking. "Come back later."

` Sam grins. "I will."

"See, you have a _I-Wanna-Get-Laid_ smirk too!" Freddie laughs.

"I do not!" Sam says, beginning to walk away.

"Yesss, you do!" Freddie calls after her.

"Nooo, I don't!" She's already leaving.

Once she left, Freddie grabs his story and rereads it. Hmm. He wonders if Sam got the hint. Does she know what she is in this story?

He hopes she does. He hopes she knows how important she is to him.


	5. Chapter 5: Secrets

**(A/N: This is gonna be a little different. I'm gonna add some drama to the story as well as a continuing plot line instead of one-shot after one-shot. If it ends badly or with a cliffhanger, rest assured that it will always be fixed in the end. Maybe. Anywho, this one has been a personal favorite of mine for a while. In almost every Seddie-based iCarly episode and in a lot of iCarly Seddie fanfiction, it always seems to be that Sam is the one who has to prove herself to Freddie after she makes a huge mistake. Like, when Sam told the world about Freddie never kissing anyone, or when Sam messed up his application, etc. Or how Sam had liked Freddie first and it seemed like she had to prove herself to him. I'm not saying that Freddie doesn't love Sam [he kissed her in front of the world and he would rather have her than $100,000, just to name a few reasons] and Freddie is like, the perfect boyfriend. But still...I think I'm gonna have fun with this chapter.)**

_5.) Secrets (Freddie's POV)_

"Sam, can you-" Freddie began to say, but he realized any words that passed his mouth were in vain. Sam was passed out on her bed, her blonde hair tangled and fallen over her face.

He usually didn't like it when she slept when they were hanging out, but he allowed it today. After all, they were up all night last night...

Freddie turns and focuses his attention on her shattered cellphone. She threw it at the wall in anger at her mother and asked him to fix it for her. Seeing the cracked, pathetic piece of technology that was now leaking battery charge was obvious to anyone who has a concious mind that fixing it was hopeless. But he might as well try. He was Freddie Benson, the Technology Lord. He could figure it out.

He sees that he needs a screwdriver to get into one of the compartments in the phone. He wonders if Sam has a screwdriver laying about somewhere in her room. After all, Sam had many dangerous things laying in her room. Knives, switchblades, a gun, baseball bats, even a black ninja egg filled with broken glass. Surely a screwdriver belonged in the list of items.

He looked through her drawers. He couldn't find a screwdriver, but he did find some nunchuks to add to the list. He checked the bottom drawer, and saw a book inside.

A book?

Sam Puckett didn't read books. She tried to avoid reading as much as she could. Seeing this book served as a shock to Freddie, so he grabbed it to see what it was.

But it wasn't a book. It was hand-written in Sam's handwriting. He flipped to the first page and read its contents. It said: _This is Sam Puckett. No need to interdoce yourself, I know that your name is Diary or Journal or whatever you call yourself. Don't care. If you're reading this and your name is not Diary, I'm afraid you're going to die in about five seconds, which is the time between me seeing you read this diary and the time when I beat you to death with my bat._

Freddie turns around and expects to see Sam about to beat him down with her bat, but she is still asleep.

A diary?

Now, Freddie knows that Sam is completely female (she proves it every time they're alone) but the idea of her having a diary is an obscure, random thought. A diary? A diary is something Carly or Wendy would write in so they could gush out their girly emotions. But Sam having one? What could she possibly write in here, anyway?

Freddie shakes his head. _I can't read Sam's diary._ That is a major violation of trust. He could never do that to Sam.

...

A fun fact blares in his head: _Did you know that it's human nature to be curious?_

No, no, no. He can't read Sam's diary.

...

But...how much damage can reading one page do?

Before he knows what he's doing, he's reading another page.

He's a little happy that most of it seems to be about him, but not all of it is postive. She's not insulting him or anything, but she seems kind of wary. His eyes widen as he reads her words: _He says he loves me but I can't help but feel that he really doesn't. That he still sees me as the girl who used to make his life hell._

Now, with him being Freddie and having access to all of his thoughts, that is completely, completely untrue. He loved Sam; more than he has loved any other girl. How can he prove that to her without her knowing that he read her most personal thoughts?

Hmm...maybe he should read another page, _just_ to be sure.

He's a bit disturbed when the page mostly contains graphic details about their sex life. So he looks at another page, which contains more heartfelt comments about how she believes Freddie doesn't love her.

How can she say that? Is she nuts? What does he have to prove that he truly loves her? Whatever it is, he'll do it.

He hears Sam stir and immediately, as though on reflex, he shoves the diary into his bag. Sam lifts her head, her mottled blonde curls sticking out every which way, and says, "Freddie?"

"Yes?" Freddie says, kissing her gently, hoping she didn't feel him trembling. "Good afternoon, by the way."

Sam blinks her hazy blue eyes up at him. "What were you doing?"

"T-Trying to fix your phone," Freddie stutters. He lifts up her cellphone. "I c-couldn't fix it, babe, I'm sorry."

Sam just shrugs. "I'll just steal another one." She sits up.

It's clear that she's not going back to sleep soon so Freddie cannot sneak the diary back into her drawer. He sits on her bed, and pulls Sam closer. He gently rubs little circles on the exposed skin on her back, since sleep made her shirt shift all the way up to her chest.

"I love you." Sam suddenly says.

It's still rather rare when Sam says it, and at that moment, Freddie realized that she was scared. She was scared that Freddie didn't love her. Oh, didn't she know that was completely obsurd? Didn't she know that he'd die for her?"

"I love you too." Freddie says gently, kissing her right after he said it, trying to seal it. There has to be a way to convince her that he did love her. Apparently saying it and kissing her and doing...other things with her wasn't enough.

Time passes, and they start watching a movie together. Freddie won't let go of Sam the entire time, keeping her entangled in some sort of a bear hug. Sam seems to enjoy the comfort, her cheeks slightly blushing. That's another thing that was shocking Freddie. Sam blushing? Sam saying "I love you"? Sam having a diary? When did she become so girly?

He eventually has to leave; his mother is going to have a stroke if he isn't home soon. He kisses Sam goodbye and drives himself home. He then realizes something very, very wrong.

He forgot to sneak the diary back in the drawer, and it was still in his bag.

He slams his fist down against the steering wheel in anger. _Damn!_ He hisses. _Now Sam will realize something is wrong!_ Even so, if he could keep the diary hidden and sneak it back in her drawer, then nothing is wrong. As long as he keeps ahold of it...

The next day, Freddie finds himself watching Sam for the slightest hint of disturbence. Any signs of her terrified of losing her diary. But no, she seems normal, acting as Sam always does.

After an extremely long period of Biology, he is heading down to his next period. As he puts some books into his locker, he realizes something.

The diary isn't in his bag.

He checks in his locker. Not there. He checks in the Biology classroom. Not there.

He's beginning to panic as he searches frantically around the school. _Where could it be?_ He screams in his head. _Oh God, where can it be?_

He must go to English next. After waiting the whole period, shaking and trembling, he runs out the door and sees that the damage is already done.

A group of guys were reading Sam's diary, quoting what she says in high-pitched, girly voices. _"He says he loves me but I can't help but feel that he really doesn't!" _One of them says mockingly.

Sam is staring at them, and Freddie's heart nearly breaks at the sight of her. Her eyes are wide, her jaw is dropped, and she looks rigid and stiff. She whirls on the boys, ripping the diary out of their hands and bitch-slapping one of them.

But the damage is already done.

It's become apparent that more than half of the school has already read it during the last forty five minutes of last period. Freddie watches helplessly as Sam tries to make her way around school. Girls and guys alike keep going up to her and either insulting her or asking her questions.

"Never knew you were such a sap, Puckett!"

"Aww, still paranoid that Freddie doesn't love you?"

"Do you really fuck him every night like you say you do?"

But Sam is already leaving the school. She looks broken, defeated, too tired to fight back at the moment.

Freddie runs after her, and stops her brisk pace by gripping her shoulder. She whirls on him, her ice-blue eyes blazing.

"It was you, wasn't it!" She hisses at him.

"I-" Freddie tries to speak.

"Yesterday, my diary goes missing. You were the only person who was at my house yesterday. And now, the whole school's seen it!" Sam looks at him, her face dropped with dispair and horror. "Why?"

"I-I didn't mean to take it home with me!" Freddie says quickly, trying to calm Sam down. "I was going to return it to you at school, but then I lost it, and then-"

"I can't believe you did this to me." Sam says, her voice sounding empty.

Freddie opens his mouth to say something, but no words form.

"This is it." Sam says coldly. Her eyes appear shiny with tears. "We've over."

"What?" He says, sounding dumbfounded. His mind whirls to find something to say to prevent the inevitable. But Sam is already walking away from him. "S-Sam...!"

He's left there, outside of the school. He turns around and sees that many people had been watching through the window, Carly being one of them. At another time, he would've been either furious or embarassed.

But now?

Freddie can only form one clear thought.

_Sam Puckett just broke up with me._

So Freddie simply walked away from the school, feeling as though his heart were actually broken. He needed to fix this, and right now. He has to do something-anything-to get Sam back. He didn't know how, but he had to. He felt tears gathering in his eyes and he let them fall. _Sam,_ he murmurs to himself. _Sam, I love you. I'm sorry._


	6. Chapter 6: Sunglasses

**(A/N: Isn't Seddie so awesome? For anyone who is enjoying the conflict, and don't want it to end, trust me, there will be a lot more conflict in this fanfic. Don't you worry.)**

_6.) Sunglasses (Carly's POV)_

She didn't hear exactly what they said. She could only look out the window. One of the abrasive guys begins to open the door, but she smacked his hand harshly. "Leave them alone," she spat at them. "You already did enough."

She watches as Freddie walks away. Sam had already left, and she could tell that whatever happened, it wasn't good. She decides to give them some space, but after three hours of no text-backs and no returned calls, sbe drew the line there.

She found myself driving over back to Bushwell Plaza. She headed up to my apartment, but of course she knocked on Freddie's door instead.

"Sam?" Freddie's hopeful voice said from inside his apartment, without opening the door.

"It's Carly," She says.

"Go away." He says simply, his voice ending in a whine.

"No! We need to talk," She says angrily, knocking on his door again. "Freddie, open up!"

"Carly, just leave me alone!" Freddie says, his voice sounding rough.

"What happened?" Carly demands.

"What do you think happened?" Freddie hisses. He still hasn't opened the door. "Sam broke up with me. Now will you get out of here?"

Carly realizes the situation at hand and continues to knock on the door. "Freddie, just open the door! We need to talk about this!"

"No, we don't." He answers back.

Carly knows he keeps a spare key in the plot by their door, just as she does. She grabs it and puts it in the keyhole, twists it, and forces the door open.

There is complete darkness in his apartment. Carly blindly makes her way over to his room, calling out, "Freddie! Where are you?"

"I'm on my stupid bed," Freddie says sarcastically. "Now, what do you want?"

Carly struggles to find the light switch. When she finds it, she flicks it on and now everything is visible. She sees Freddie splayed across his bed, motionless, as if he was asleep.

Carly strides over to him. She now sees that he is wearing sunglasses. "Freddie?" She says. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just enjoying life." He says with the same snarky tone. "And how about yourself?"

"Freddie, what happened with you and Sam?" Carly demands.

"I took her diary by accident," Freddie says calmly. "And when I tried to sneak it back in school, I had lost it. And some people got a hold of it. Sam got mad and broke up with me." He looks up at Carly, the sunglasses blocking his eyes. "That's really it."

Carly seemed confused. "And you're alright with all of that...?"

"Do you think I am?" Freddie says hoarsely.

Carly remains silent.

"Well, just in case you don't know Shay, no, I am not okay with it." Freddie hisses. "I just lost the girl I'm in love with."

"Well, come on then!" Carly says, exasperated. "At least try to get her back!"

"I've been calling and texting..." Freddie says, almost helplessly. "She's serious about this. I ruined her life."

Suddenly, it clicks in Carly's mind. Why he is wearing sunglasses. Before he could stop her, she leans down and takes the sunglasses off his face.

His eyes are red from crying.

Freddie seems to realize that Carly sees this, and he turns his face away from her. "Just go away."

"Do you want me to help you with Sam or not?" Carly asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What can you do?" Freddie says helplessly.

"I'll talk to her." Carly promises. "Right now."

"Wait, Carly, before you go..." Freddie says. Carly turns and looks at him.

"Do you think I even deserve her again?" He says simply. "I mean, thanks to me, the whole school knows about her diary."

Carly sits down beside him, gently brushing his messed up dark hair away from his forehead. "Both you and Sam inflict fucked up things on each other," she murmurs, thinking of Sam messing up his application. "Yet you two always manage to find each other again." She believes that is a perfect way to end this, and she stands up and leaves Freddie's apartment.

_(Sam's POV)_

She knew she did the right thing.

She knew she was right. She knew he was only half in the relationship. All it took was one little chance to ruin her life, and he took it. How could he not? She deserved it. All of it.

Sam just sat on her bed, leaning back and kicking her feet in front of her. "Oh well." She tells herself angrily.

She feels tears hazing in her eyes again, and she struggles to not blink. But when she does, the tears slide down her face, and she finds herself crying once again. She doesn't understand why she's crying. She loved Freddie, but she was the one who broke up with him. She was the one who did it. So why does she feel bad.

She hears someone knocking on her door. Her heart stops when she believes for a half-second that it could be Freddie. But she hears Carly's voice, "Sam! You in there?" Sam freezes. If Carly came inside, she'd see that she's been crying. Quickly, Sam looks for something to block off the red eyes. She grips a pair of sunglasses that were near her bed, and shuffles them on.

"Sam! I know you're in there! Open up!" Carly calls from behind the door.

"The door is always open," Sam snapped impatiently. "You know that." Sam never locks her door. After all, if someone dangerous came inside, like a burglar or a rapist, they'd would wish they never decided to mess with Sam Puckett.

Carly comes inside, and rushes to Sam's room. "Take off the sunglasses," Carly says coldly. "Freddie already tried the same trick."

Sam rips the sunglasses off, revealing her teary, splotched eyes. "What do you want, Carly?" Sam hisses at her friend. "I kinda want to be alone right now."

"Sam, you have every right to be upset," Carly says gently. "But Freddie didn't mean to let the others get ahold of your diary."

Sam looks up at Carly. "What are you talking about? Who steals someone's diary and gives it to everyone at school, then says it's an accident?"

"He says he accidently shoved it in his bag and he was going to return it to you," Carly says, "And lost it. Sam, I stopped by his apartment. He's sobbing his eyes out over you!"

Sam looks away and Carly goes on, "And look at yourself! You're crying as well. Sam, I'm telling you the truth. He didn't mean for any of this to happen." Carly sits down next to Sam, looking at her with her wide brown eyes. "Freddie loves you. Everyone makes mistakes. Are you really willing to let him go?"

Sam falls back into bed, blinking away tears. "You think I want to let him go?" Sam says hoarsely. "You know I love him. But... Something like this could happen again."

"Of course something like this will happen again!" Carly says, exasperated. "All that you two do is ruin each other's lives and make up! If you two didn't love each other, you'd be broken up and done with already."

Carly stands up. "The next time Freddie calls," she says sternly. "Answer it." She walks out of her room. Sam can hear the door close as Carly leaves her house.

Sam didn't have much time to ponder about her next move. She was secretly hoping Freddie would call her again, so they could make up. But is that really the best choice? She wanted him back... But could she really let go?

Not even three minutes after Carly left, another car pulls up. Whoever came doesn't bother to knock on the door; he already knows it's never locked. Sam knows who it is; she stands up stiffly and waits to face him. He'll be coming in three, two-

Freddie roughly opens her door, and they are face to face. Sam knows that Carly didn't sent him. Carly lives fifteen minutes away from Sam; Freddie must have already been on his way here. Sam meets his eyes, and she knows what she has to do.

Sam strides up to him in less than a few seconds, grips his shoulders, and kisses him just like she did at the lock-in. Sam and Freddie were never good with words; they always did actions to show how they felt. Sam figures that she is saying, _"I'm sorry. I love you."_

Freddie takes it a step farther, pushing Sam against her bed so he was on top of her. They're making out for a little while before Sam pushes him away, blinking at him.

"So," she gasps breathlessly. "What really happened?"

"I-I'm sorry," He says, sounding more composed than ever. "I didn't mean to do it. I shoved it in my bag because you were waking up, and I was gonna return it after school, but those jerks got ahold of it, and now we're here." Freddie stops, looking lost. "I-I can't do this, Sam. Please take me back."

Sam looked at the image in front of her. A seventeen year old boy, who's hair was messy and ungroomed, his eyes empty and red from crying, and seconds away from breaking down. Sam must look the same way; she's sure of it. She is in the complete power position right now; she has the power to do everything. So what does she do?

She pulls Freddie down on her, and kisses him, hard. He immediately goes along with it, pressing against Sam until there was no space in-between them. Sam entangles her fingers in his hair, half-pulling. Freddie's lips move away and he begins to kissing her neck, slightly nipping. It was aggressive and heartfelt and Sam knew it could only lead to one thing.

So she let it.

Hours after what could only be considered a hatefuck, Sam and Freddie were half-asleep on her bed, after hours of doing...stuff. Freddie is absentmindedly playing with her hair, while Sam just stares into space. All she is aware of is Freddie beside her and the pain on her neck from the mark that Freddie left.

Suddenly, in the silence, Freddie turns to her and says, "I need to know something."

"What?" Sam asks.

"You promise you won't kill me?" He says.

Sam rolls her eyes. "Just say it."

Freddie gently puts a loose blonde curl behind her ear. "I'm sorry for reading part of your diary. It was wrong and I'll fix it, I swear-"

"Yeah, well." Sam interrupts. "I made your life hell several times. Consider this payback."

"But it's not what I wanted!" Freddie protests. "Why would I do that to my girlfriend?"

"So we're back together?" Sam says, not meeting his eyes; she simply plays with the bedsheets.

"You know I want to be," Freddie says quietly. "But seriously, I have to know."

Sam gives a wobbly smile. "Whatchu wanna know?" she says in a silly voice like she did when they were first dating, that one day at the Groovy Smoothie.

Freddie smiles as well. "I...I read a section that said that you didn't think I loved you."

Sam turns away. _He read that part?_ She wants to scream out loud. _Oh, God damn it!_

"But, Sam..." Freddie says, still playing with her hair but looking straight into her eyes. "Why do you think that?"

Sam refuses to meet his brown eyes. "Why else would I think that?" Sam says helplessly. "I make your life hell. I screwed up your application and told the world your secret and I abuse you and hurt you and ruin everything. It would make more sense if you didn't love me!"

"Well," Freddie says. "I ruined your life with the diary thing, so we're about equal there. And what you said about us not making sense..." His voice drops. "That's the thing. We don't make sense; at all. We never will."

Sam blinks, and Freddie goes on, "We will always be that way. Never, ever making sense. And to be completely honest..." Their eyes meet. "That's how I like it. Why? Because it's _us_."

Sam doesn't know how to respond to all of that. But it was true; him and Sam weren't an average couple. They were diverse, aggressive, intense, heartfelt, stressful... And that was how she liked it too. Completely. Utterly. Without question.

"So will you take me back?" Freddie asks, giving her a smirk that he gave her after he kissed her at Troubled Waters.

"Yeah, yeah..." Sam says, burying her head in his chest. "But you and I are gonna beat the asses of everyone who dares speak of this tomorrow."

"You can count on it," Freddie chuckles. "Or at least, you can. They're all more afraid of you than me."

Sam shrugs. Then Freddie says, "Don't worry. If anyone so much as says _anything_ about it tomorrow, I'll beat them to death."

Sam knew he was serious; she never admitted it, but when Benson was mad, he might as well be as strong as her. Was he as strong as her? She didn't know, and she dreaded the day Freddie finally beat her in a fight. _It won't happen,_ she tells herself.

"I love you." Freddie says gently.

"Love you too," Sam says, focusing her attention on her fingernails, refusing to meet his eyes. Because that's the thing when their eyes meet. She feels all soft and fuzzy inside. And she hates it.

She thinks of how she never used to say "I love you". It was always so rare. And now she's saying it left and right. When she thinks about it, it's not so bad. She likes saying it. She likes Freddie saying it back, just as composed.

A long while passes and it's nighttime. Sam felt herself drifting off into sleepworld, her eyes growing hazy and heavy. As she falls asleep, she could feel Freddie, who was fully concious, next to her, almost protecting her. The last thing she felt was Freddie's hand touching her cheek before she slid into dreamworld.


	7. Chapter 7: College Party

**(A/N: Sorry I couldn't do one yesterday. I wasn't hit with the creative stick yesterday, and I literally stared at an open document with no words in my mind. I hope this is good enough. This is extremely long as well.)**

_7.) College Party (Freddie's POV)_

"Gibby, please." Sam growls. "Just stop talking."

"You guys gotta listen!" Gibby protests. "Tasha hooked us up. This isn't from me!"

"Thank God," Freddie muses. "Last time that happened, you took us to a dry cleaner."

Sam glances at him and smirks, as if this answer sastified her. Freddie couldn't help but think to himself. He was acting a bit more sardonic, wasn't he?

"Gibby, we really don't want to go." Carly says gently.

"Okay, listen to me again." Gibby says slowly. "Tasha found us a college party. An actual one. You guys know she's in college now. As long as we act like college students we can make it through."

"Those parties can get kind of rough..." Freddie says warily, but he notices that Sam's eyes were sparkling.

"Keep talking, Gibs." Sam says with a smile.

"This can be our time to meet some college people," Gibby says. "See some new experiences. I think it'd be cool."

"I think we should go," Sam says, turning to Carly and Freddie.

"Sam!" Carly's mouth dropped. "That's a terrible idea!"

"Those parties get rough," Freddie tells Sam, half-glaring at her. "And everytime we go to a party, you try to get as wasted as possible."

"I'll hold back," Sam says, gripping his shoulder. "Please?"

"Sam-" He begins.

"I won't drink that much. Pleaseee, Freddie." Sam begs.

"Pfft." Freddie looks away. "Fine."

"Yay!" Sam kisses his cheek. "Carly, you in?"

"I don't know..." Carly blinks downward. "What if-"

"C'mon, Carly." Sam says. "Live a little. You might meet a really cool college guy."

"Who will probably be wasted out of his mind." Freddie snickers.

"Can all three of you go or not?" Gibby asks.

"Yes!" Sam says immediately. "We're all going."

"Cool, I'll tell Tasha." Gibby walks away.

"Sam!" Carly hisses. "That wasn't cool. Those parties are dangerous."

"We will be fineee, Carly." Sam promises.

"Well, I better get going." Carly says, standing up. "I have to tell Spencer I won't be home."

"Don't tell him about the party!" Sam calls after her.

"I'm not dumb." Carly growls back.

Now that they were alone, Sam grabs Freddie's shoulder and says, "C'mon, baby. Let's go to my place."

"Wait, Sam." Freddie stops Sam. "Listen to me."

Sam turns back to him. "What?"

"I really don't think we should go." Freddie tells her.

"Why?" Sam asks, her blue eyes wide.

"Because you always get so drunk." Freddie crosses his arms over his chest. He wonders if Sam's mother's love for alcohol has rubbed off on Sam.

Sam looks at him. "Freddie..." she begins.

"Look, here's the deal." Freddie says sternly. "You aren't going to drink. Not even a sip."

"But-" Sam protests.

"No. This is how we're going to do it." Freddie snaps. "Drinking at high school parties is stupid enough. Drinking at college parties puts a sign on your head that says 'I'm in high school, and I'm stupid enough to drink at a college party'."

"Fine," Sam says angrily. "You win."

"It'll still be fun," Freddie says gently.

"Yeah, probably not." Sam growls.

"C'mon," Freddie says, holding Sam's hand. "Carly's probably done telling Spencer about how she'll be busy. She's probably going to want you to wear something pretty."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Sam walks with him out the door. "Gag."

Freddie just smiles. At least he can relax knowing that Sam wasn't going to drink. It won't be like parties in the past, when Freddie found her in a bush. Maybe things will be better now.

Hours later, Freddie opened the door of his apartment and knocked on Carly's door. She opened the door, and was wearing just normal, everyday clothes. Sam joined her, wearing everyday clothes as well.

"Bye, Spencer!" Carly calls as she closes the door.

"Bye, kiddo!" Spencer's voice sounded from inside the apartment.

"Can we get dressed in your apartment?" Carly whispers to Freddie. "He thinks I'm sleeping over Sam's house."

"Yeah, go ahead." Freddie opens the door and the two sneak in.

"I'll change in your bathroom," Carly says, before disppearing behind the bathroom door.

"Can I change in your bedroom?" Sam asks Freddie.

Freddie glances around. "Do we have time for-" he says quietly.

"Nah, baby." Sam winks at him. "We have time for that later."

Sam suddenly slides off her top and her pants, leaving her in just her bra and her panties. Freddie swallows, feeling the familiar feeling spring downstairs. _She's teasing me,_ he thinks to himself. It doesn't stop him from gripping her bare waist and kissing her. He can feel her against him and he wonders if they have time-

She pulls away and slips on an incrediably sexy purple tanktop, **(A/N: Of course it's purple :D) **black skinny jeans, and comfortable looking shoes. She rolls her eyes. "This is as girly as Carly's gonna get me." Sam says, smiling. "She orginally wanted me to wear a dress."

"You look fine." Freddie says. "How do I look?" He holds out his arms, showing what he was wearing. Just a darker colored shirt with a dark gray striped jacket. Black jeans. Simple. Unnoticed.

"Nerdy." Sam snickers, her nose wrinkling as she covers up her face. Of course, that was one of the things that Sam did (one of the many, MANY things) that Freddie found irresistably cute. But that was just him.

Carly comes out of the bathroom, wearing a black dress that started late up front and ended early down low. Literally, it was cut off about two inches from the inappropiate areas. Freddie wanted to roll his eyes at her. What was she thinking, dressing like that to a _college_ party? Her hair was completely straight and her eyes were loaded with makeup, while Sam's hair was in the same curled style as always and all she had on was eyeliner and mascara.

"We ready to go?" Carly asks.

"Yeah," Freddie says, putting his arm around Sam's waist. "C'mon, let's go. Who's driving?"

"I am." Sam says immediately.

"You sure?" Freddie says. "I can drive if you want."

"Nah." Sam says. "I wanna drive. It'll be my first time driving to a party."

"Because you always get drunk," Carly muses. "No matter. Come on, let's hit it."

They arrive at the place Gibby told them to meet at. It's a house party, Freddie could obviously tell. "Now, remember." He tells the girls roughly. "Don't make it so bluntly obvious that we're highschoolers. If anyone asks, just say that you're from out of town. And no drinking."

"Whatever." Sam rolls her eyes.

"Sam, seriously." Freddie snaps. "You promised. And you drove."

"Okay, okay." Sam gets out of the car, and puts her keys in her pocket. Freddie and Carly join her. Freddie feels a thousand times smaller under his skin, glancing warily from side to side. He notes Sam's cheerful, bright, happy persona. _Act like her,_ Freddie thinks to himself. He straightens out, putting his shoulders out. Put a careless smile on.

When they walk inside, the only words on his mind were: _Oh fuck._

He wasn't here to meet girls (obviously) so he tried chatting up a few guys.

"Haven't seen you around." One guy said. "What's your name?"

"Freddie." He answers back, hopefully with enough confidence. "I-"

He realizes that he lost any convo they had going because now they're talking to Carly. Freddie rolls his eyes and turns away. What did he say? He knew that something like that would happen.

What about Sam? Were guys chatting her up in the same way? Thank God she wasn't getting drunk tonight. He looks around, and finds her talking to a guy.

He stalks up to them, and he hears the guy say, "What are you doing here, Sammy? You're in high school, aren't you? Unless you dropped out."

"Just enjoying the party." Sam replies calmly, taking a sip of her pop, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Haven't seen you in a while." The guy says, narrowing his eyes.

"Nice to see that you're out of juvy." Sam says, still looking calm although her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

The guy takes a step closer to her, and Sam takes a step back, saying, "Go ahead and try it; I can easily put you back in juvy."

"Hey, hey." Freddie says, boldly stepping in-between them. "Look, let's cool it here."

"Who the hell are you?" The guy immediately says.

"This is Freddie," Sam says quickly. "My boyfriend. Freddie, this is Matthew."

"Matt," the guy spat. "Now, seriously. What the hell are you doing, Sam? You just stopped calling me all of a sud-"

"This was all months ago." Sam snaps. "Let it go."

"How about-" Freddie begins to say.

"Shut it," Matt hisses at him.

"Come on," Sam puts her drink down and pulls Freddie away. "We don't need this."

Once they're out of Matt's earshot, Freddie growls at Sam, "Who the hell was that guy?"

"Someone I used to know," Sam replies, glancing over her shoulder. "I can't believe he's here."

"Was he your boyfriend or something?"

"I wouldn't call him that."

"What would you call him then?" Freddie snaps. _Friends with benefits?_ The thought disgusted him. He thought Sam was a virgin until they got together.

"Look, I'll explain later." Sam says impatiently.

"No, explain now!" Freddie hisses, gripping Sam's arm before she could walk away. He glances around, seeing that no one has caught notice of their argument. "Did you sleep with him or something?"

"No!" Sam says, her eyes widening. "No, of course not! Freddie, let go of me, you're hurting my arm." She whips her arm away, walks to the table to grab her drink, and she goes to find Carly.

Freddie just sighs. What was happening? He didn't want to piss Sam off, but now he's worried about that some guy could be stalking her. He simply waits, watching two drunk-as-hell girls scramble on the floor, when he sees Sam watching as well. She appears to be giggling while sipping her drink.

Freddie walks over to her. "You find this funny?" Of course she did. She watches her mother vomit all over herself when she's drunk all the time.

Sam continues to giggle. "Huh?" She looks at him as if she just noticed he was here.

Freddie narrows his eyes at her. "Are you okay?"

Sam continues to laugh, gripping his shoulder as if she was off-balanced. "What? Freddie?"

If he didn't trust Sam as much, he'd say she was drunk. As he watches her laughing, struggling to keep standing, the possiblity of it continued to grow. "Sam, have you been drinking?"

Sam just continues to laugh, sipping her pop again.

Freddie snatches it from her and smells it. It didn't smell like any kind of alcohol. He looks around to see if there was any lying about, but there were cans everywhere.

"Sam, listen to me." He puts his hands on her shoulders. "Can you hear me?"

"Can I lay down?" she asks before bursting into laughter. "I don't know; I'm sooo tired all of a sudden."

Laying down at a college party was basically an open invite. So he pulled up a chair and forced her to sit down. "Keep your head up," he demands. "Please."

He walks away, only to look back to see that Sam's head is drooping again. He needs to find Carly. They should probably leave now, since Sam is clearly sick and she's their only ride home. She's in no shape for driving; hopefully she still has her keys with her so Freddie could drive.

He finds the brunette standing alone, with her arms crossed and a humiliated, disgusted look on her face. Ten minutes ago she was the life of the party, attracting the attention of almost every guy. Now she's standing here, as if she was waiting for someone to strike.

"What's wrong?" Freddie asks her.

"Freddie, we have to get out of here!" she says in a loud whisper.

"Why? What happened?" Freddie demanded.

"I set my drink down for a second when I was dancing with this one guy." Carly explains quickly. "And then I turned and saw some other guy slip something into my drink!"

Freddie pauses. "Slipped something?"

"A pill, Freddie." Carly says impatiently. "Roofie, or something! Any kind of date-rape drug!"

"Alright, come on." Freddie says roughly. He remembers Sam's giggly demeanor and how tired she was. Oh God, she didn't get slipped with roofie, did she? He goes to the chair he made her sit in.

She wasn't there.

Freddie felt his blood running cold; he looked around. The blonde was no where to be found. "Where is she?" Carly asks.

"Just wait here, a-and don't drink anything!" Freddie says quickly, walking away. He checked every room, only to get yelled at college kids who were "getting it on". He finally reaches one room, and sees Sam splayed across a bed, her limbs sticking out every which way, her blonde curls fallen over her face.

"C'mon, Sam." Freddie growls. "We're getting out of here." He lifted her up bridal style, thankful that she only weighed about 120 pounds. He turned, his stomach dropping when he saw Matt or whatever he called himself standing beside the door.

"Whatchu doing, _boyfriend_?" Matt asks, grinning.

"Trying to save my _girlfriend_ from getting raped, is all." Freddie says easily.

"Hey, I wasn't the guy who did it." Matt says, putting his hands in the air.

"Then who did?" Freddie spat.

"Look, I understand that's a key issue." Matt says smoothly. "But your girlfriend's about to pass out. So I suggest you get her home."

"This isn't over." Freddie snarls as he walks past.

"Just wait until next party!" Matt calls after him.

Freddie would've wanted to punch his lights out, but he needs to get Sam out of there. As he carries her limp body, he saw Carly from across the room.

"Oh my God!" Carly gasps. "Sam?"

"Look, I need to get her home." Freddie checks her back pocket. He can't find her keys. "Damn! How are we going to get home?"

"I think Gibby can give us a ride." Carly says.

Judging by Sam's foggy, roofied state, she couldn't wait too much longer. "I'll just walk her to her house." Freddie says.

"You mean drag her." Carly says.

"Whatever." Freddie opens the door. "I have to get her out of here." He walks out the door, dragging Sam along with him.

Still carrying her bridal style, he begins to walk to her house. Luckily she only lived like...twenty minutes away. Suddenly, Sam's eyes open.

"Sam?" he says. "You okay?"

"You're all shiny." she manages to get out before her head slumps again.

He manages to get her to her house. He thanks God that neither of their moms were home that night. He gets her door open (which, yet again, was not locked) and lays her on her bed.

Her eyes open again. Her pupils are dialated and she seems confused.

"Shh." Freddie says gently. "You can sleep now. We're out of there."

"Who's there?" Sam says, struggling to focus on him.

"It's Freddie. You're okay now, Sam." Freddie gently uses his fingers to close her eyes.

She begins to murmur something. Freddie strains to hear it, and she begins chanting the words. "Don't...worry..." she says, very softly. "...about...a...thing..."

"Cause every little thing is going to be alright." Freddie says quietly to her. She was right. Everything is going to be alright. He got her out of there. He'll be there when she wakes up. She won't remember a thing.

As Sam falls under again, Freddie just sits beside her, silently guarding her once again until she wakes up.


	8. Chapter 8: Threats

_8.) Threats_

When Sam opened her eyes, she was immediately hit with a massive headrush that she could feel all the way to the tip of her fingernails. Her mouth opens in a silent scream as it all comes crashing down on her. Her mind is a whirl of images and sounds that weren't making any sense. A flash of some college guy's face. The sound of laughter. All sorts of swirling patterns.

She struggles to remember how she got from the party to on a bed. Oh my God, was she kidnapped? She struggles to lift her head, and looks at her surroundings. Her eyes couldn't focus on anything. Blinking several times, she recognizes that she is in her room. She breathes a sigh of relief.

"Sam?" That was Freddie's voice. He was lying beside her, and he sits up. He doesn't look nearly as wrecked as she did.

"Freddie?" Sam coughs. "What happened?"

"It's a long story," Freddie chuckles. "Here, drink this." He hands her a bottle of water. "Sit up while you do so."

"I can't sit up," Sam moans. "My head is throbbing."

"You need to drink," Freddie orders.

"Mmh." Sam forces herself to sit up part-way, despite the striking pain, and takes several gulps of water before she let herself lay down again. "Now tell me what happened. It didn't drink or anything..."

"I think..." Freddie clears his throat. "I think you were roofied."

"Roofied?" Sam echoes. She would love to find a million reasons for why this is impossible, but she can't remember anything. For all she knew, she could have swallowed it down with water herself. She lets her head fall into a pillow, blocking her face and letting her blonde curls fall everywhere. "You're kidding me."

"What's the last thing you remember?" Freddie asks gently.

Sam wanted to give him an answer but her mind was such a jumbled mess that she didn't even want to attempt. "I don't know," Sam mumbles. "I remember being at the party. Then it was like I blacked out. Everything else is like a dream."

"I found you passed out on some other guy's bed." Freddie says calmly. Sam's eyes widen in terror and then he says quickly, "Nothing happened, don't worry. I got you out of there."

Sam pauses. "What about my car? Did you drive it?"

"You lost your keys," Freddie says. "Carly found them on the ground later, so it's cool, you got your car."

"So how did you get me home?"

"I carried you."

Sam turns her head away so he doesn't see her blush, which is as faint as ever. "Thanks," she mumbles.

"Wait, wait, wait." He says quickly. "One more thing."

"What?" Sam looks up at him.

"The guy who was nearly in bed with you...he says he knew you."

Sam blinks. "What was his name?"

"Matt or something..."

Sam's blood runs cold. She remembers him from her days in Juvy. "Oh God," she murmurs.

"Tell me who he is," Freddie demands.

"He was just a guy I used to know." Sam says.

"But you looked like you knew him more than that." Freddie growls. "Come on, tell me. Boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to trust each other."

"He was just a guy that I met in Juvy." Sam says simply. "We kind of fooled around. I stopped talking to him once he started getting creepy."

"Fooled around how?" Freddie questions. He cringes as if he's expecting the worst.

"I didn't have sex with him or anything," Sam says with a shrug. "Mostly because he's probably ridden with STDs. Anywho, you don't need to worry about him."

"What if he was the one who slipped you the roofie?" Freddie questions. "He said some random person did, but he was the one going to bed with you."

"It probably was him. But it doesn't matter, Freddie. I promise." She blinks at him.

"Does he know where you live?"

It slowly dawns on Sam. "Yes, he does." she says emptily.

"What if he comes over here?" Freddie asks.

Sam looks at him. "Freddie, I have a blackbelt, I mastered in martial arts, I know every single one of your pressure points and which can kill you, and I know over ninety different ways to kill you with my bare hands. I can take care of myself."

Freddie just sighs.

Sam cuddles up closer to him, pressing against his body heat. "You saved my life."

"No, I didn't." Freddie says.

"I couldn't defend myself then," Sam tells him. "And you got me out of there. So yeah, you did."

Freddie grins. "Well, maybe a little."

Sam just pokes him. "Wait, what time is it?"

"Around two o'clock, I think." Freddie checks his phone.

"P.M.?" Sam's eyes widen. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A while." Freddie's brown eyes darken. "I was getting worried."

Sam's hand tightens around Freddie's. "I'm okay now." Sam says, although her head is throbbing. "Kind of."

"You should sleep some more," Freddie says, standing up.

"Okay." Sam's eyes close. Suddenly she snaps them open again. "Wait. Can you make me bacon first?"

Freddie rolls his eyes. "Sure." Then he exits her room.

While he's gone, Sam forces herself to think. She must think of what happened. Everything is a dizzying blur. But she needs to remember what Matt said to her. It could be crucial. He knew where she lived. The idea of him showing up here was so frightening that she didn't want to think about it.

Her mind failing her, she struggles to find her phone. She finds it near her pillow and she looks at her recent texts. Some were from Carly, asking how she was feeling. Some were from her mom, saying she hooked up with a new guy. And one from an unknown number.

_"Feeling better, Sammy?"_

Sam cringes. It was from Matt. It had to be. She lets her head fall again. How was she going to sleep tonight, knowing he could break in at any time? She could defend herself...but he was just as skilled and had just as many street-smarts.

Freddie comes back with bacon, and Sam nearly inhales it. "Easy," he chuckles, but Sam doesn't listen. She must bury her fear in food. She always does.

But even when all of the greasy material good is gone, the threat comes back to her mind. She could sleep with her gun...but last time she shot a hole in the wall...maybe she could...

"You okay?" Freddie asks. "You're looking even more pale."

"Can you stay here tonight?" Sam asks him.

"Why?" Freddie raises one eyebrow.

"Just cause." Sam says, and attempts to leave the conversation at that.

"No, seriously." Freddie presses. "What's wrong?"

Sam just holds up her phone and shows him the text.

"Is that Matt?" Freddie questions.

"I think so." Sam mutters.

Freddie's silent for a while. Then he says, "Well, you're not staying here."

"Freddie-" Sam begins.

"No, you're not staying here. I'm not gonna let that guy show up suddenly and fuck everything up." Freddie says simply.

"Then what are we-"

"Stay at my place." Freddie insists.

Sam waves him away. "Your mom would have a panic attack."

"She's still working at the hospital for the nightshift." Freddie says. "And I'm not leaving you here. That's final."

Sam groans.

Freddie rolls his eyes. "Come on. Get up. I'll take you there now."

"Carry me." Sam holds out her arms.

Freddie just smiles and picks her up again. She kisses his cheek. "I love you, baby."

"Love you more," He simply answers, still smiling.

"Yeah, I doubt it." Sam says as he carries her out the door.

At least she had nothing to fear tonight when she went to sleep. As Freddie drove her to Bushwell Plaza, Sam only had one thought on her mind: _I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him._ He loved her too, she knew that, and she couldn't help but think about how stupid she was to break up with him. They were back together now, but Sam regretted her mistake. She never, ever wanted Freddie to feel that he wasn't good enough.

Because she knows she isn't good enough by a long shot.


	9. Chapter 9: Shower Fun

**(A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do me a favor and tell me if I'm being OOC. Sam might seem kind of soft in these stories but I always pictured her as being more girly when it's just her and Freddie. Idk. But if it bothers you, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me. I want to improve. Also, warning now, this chapter is STRONGLY RATED T.)**

_9.) Shower Fun_

Sam had fallen back asleep on the way home. Freddie had carried her to his bed and let her sleep while he reprogrammed some microchips. He would explain more...but no one seems to understand his tech talk. Or seems to care.

Sam stirs suddenly, her head snapping up.

"You feeling better?" Freddie asks her, walking over to her and kissing her forehead.

"I think the stuff is wearing off." Sam says brightly. She sits up, and doesn't look like she's about to pass out or vomit anymore. She stands and walks over to where he sat in a wheeled chair. "Whatchu up to?"

"I'm reprogramming the S Drive to the-" Sam was already walking away from him.

"You walked away!" he protests.

She falls onto his bed. "Because you're talking about...I don't know, but it wasn't entertaining!"

Freddie rolls his eyes, sets the microchips down, and walks over to the bed. "Hug me," she says, holding out her arms.

Freddie wraps her in his arms. She snuggles into his shoulder. "Thanks again for getting me the hell out of there."

"As if I would let anything happen to you," he murmurs.

"Don't be so soft." Sam says, pulling away and falling back onto the bed.

Freddie couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault he was a hopeless romantic. And with Sam being probably the least romantic person he has ever met, it was almost humorous that they got together to other people.

"Has Matt texted you again?" Freddie asks.

"Dunno, I haven't checked." She looks around for her phone. She finds it, then checks the texts. Her face pales.

"Lemme see." Freddie says, grabbing her phone. He read the text:

_"Where the fuck are you? I just want to talk."_

"Oh God, he's looking for me." Sam moans, her head falling back. "God damn it!"

"He's not going to find you." Freddie says softly.

"Let me go back there!" Sam begs. "I have a gun. I could put a cap through his head and end this all."

"Then you'll get arrested and they'd take you away from me. No, you're staying here." Freddie says firmly.

"Mmh." Sam mutters under her breath. Suddenly, Freddie's phone beeps. Sam's head snaps up. "What was that?"

"I got a facebook message." Freddie says, picking up his pearphone and checking it. "Just a friend invite."

"Who?" Sam asks, her voice curious.

"Some girl named Allie." Freddie replies. "Allie Miller."

"Oh, I heard she's new to Ridgeway." Sam says, and leaves it at that.

Freddie confirms the friend request and Sam says, "So, how long do you think I should stay here for?"

"Just as long until he leaves you alone." Freddie says simply.

"So, in about twenty years." Sam retorts.

"Why don't we call the police on him?" Freddie asks.

"What can we prove?" Sam says helplessly. "That he's a deranged freak? They might be able to prove that, but nothing more."

"We could show them the texts..." Freddie suggests.

"Freddie, come on. Cops wouldn't help us out with that shit. And we both now at least twenty reasons for why I shouldn't be around cops." Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

"Okay, babe." Freddie says gently. "Just stick around till we figure this out."

Sam is silent for a while. Finally she says, "Hey, can I take a shower? God knows what I got myself into while I was roofied. Drinking games and all that." She shrugs.

Freddie knows he protected her from all of that last night but he doesn't stop her. About twenty minutes later, she's still in the shower, and he calls, "You still showering?"

"No," she replies.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Just sitting under the hot water. Our hot water runs out in less than two minutes." Sam says.

Freddie chuckles. Another minute goes by in silence. Then another. About five minutes go by, and Freddie says, "Still enjoying the water?"

"Mhm." Was her only reply.

Freddie goes closer to the shower. Feeling a very important part of his body stirring, he says, "Can I sneak a peek?"

"So that's how it's going to be?" She teases gently.

"Mhm..." He trails off, walking close to the shower.

"Well come on, then." She snickers. "This water's amazing. Why sit in it alone?"

Freddie slips off his own clothes and slides into the shower. The sight of her dripping wet with nothing on made him pull her close and kiss her lips. His hands go to a rated R place, and hers do as well. No matter. Anyone could tell where this was going.

Within two minutes they were in one of those scenes in a movie where all the parents would rush their kids off to bed. Freddie was gripping the shower curtain for support. Sam was digging her fingernails into his skin. They were completely lost in each other's universe.

Then the door opens. And before Freddie and Sam could even react, the show curtain pulled open.

Marissa Benson shrieks. "What...the...AUGHH!"

Freddie and Sam collasped onto each other. Freddie grasped the fallen shower curtain, trying to cover themselves. "Mom!" he gasps.

She fell to the ground.

"Oh God!" Freddie wails. "She's fainted!"

"Should I call someone?" Sam asks, gripping her clothes.

Freddie feels around her head, seeing if she could possibly have a cucussion. She didn't appear to, but he was still worried as all hell. "Get some cold water," he orders.

Sam fills up a cup-full of icy water from the sink. She managed to put on her shirt and panties but that was it. She hands Freddie the water and immediately Freddie throws it on his mother's face. Her brown eyes snap open, and her head tilts up.

Almost immediately his mother remembers the situation and her head falls down again.

"She's out again," Freddie grumbles.

"Maybe we should just put her to bed." Sam says. "Then when she wakes up, we'll convince her it was all a dream."

"I doubt that'd work," Freddie mumbles. "Might as well try." He lifts up his fallen mother and half-carries, half-drags her to her own room. He shuffles on a shirt and pants.

"Well," he says half-heartedly. "My life's over."

"Don't say that." Sam says.

"My mother might have had a heart attack seeing that."

"You know," Sam says angrily. "She should learn to accept it. She doesn't accept any of your relationships. Why not?"

"Because I'm her child," Freddie admits. "It's hard for her."

"My mom doesn't care."

Freddie knew she didn't understand how much his mother's approval meant to him. She never had any true parental guidance. She could have been having sex since she was eight and her mother would've only yelled at her and left it at that. Luckily, Sam's own internal moral values kept her away from that stuff. Until she was with Freddie, that is. Of course, it was clear that Freddie never had any STDs either because Sam was the only one he has ever done _anything_ with.

"Will you talk to your mom about this?" Sam asks.

"I'll have to now." Freddie gives a worried glance towards his mother's room. "If she wakes up."

"She'll wake up." Sam stands up and adjusts her wet hair. "Sorry about all of that."

"No," Freddie says lightly. "Don't say that. It was just bad timing on our part."

Sam just shrugs. "I doubt your mom will let me stay now."

The thought of Sam going back to her house with Matt made Freddie's fists tighten. "I'll explain it to her. Surely she won't force you back there if she knows you're being threatened."

"She caught us screwing each other." Sam says drily. "Your mom nearly had a stroke. I doubt she wants me around."

"I'll talk to her." He says tightly. "If she seriously is making you leave, then I'll go with you."

"But-"

"I'm not leaving you alone with Matt."

Sam just rolls her eyes. "You're so cute when you're being all protective."

Freddie looks at her, then looks downstairs, then looks at her, then looks downstairs.

Sam doesn't see this and says, "Let's check if your mom's still breathing." She walks towards Marissa's room.

Freddie follows her. His mother is still alive, and is still passed out.

"We might as well wait until she wakes up." Freddie says. "Wait in my room. If my mother goes haywire on you-"

"I think she knows not to go 'haywire' on me." Sam snickers.

Freddie just smiles at her. Sam sits down on his bed and checks her phone again. "He hasn't texted again."

"Maybe he got the message." Freddie says brightly.

"Yeah, I doubt it." Sam says drily. Sam just yawns and falls back onto his bed. "Wake me up when physcho wakes up."

"Sounds like a plan." Freddie chuckles before Sam curls up on his bed and closes her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10: Inner Demons

**(A/N: If you guys want more Seddie than this, you can check out my other fanfic, iSecrets. It has grownup Seddie [They're 21 in it] and what happened after iCarly ended)**

_ 10.) Inner Demons (Sam's POV)_

Sam snapped awake when she heard Marissa scream, _"Freddie!"_

Freddie, who was still sitting beside her, snaps up. Half-trembling, he makes his way to his mother's room. Sam knows she should give them space. She knows that this battle, although partically her business, has been building up for years and years thanks to Marissa's overprotection and disapproval of Freddie's love life. She knows she should just sit by and let the first wave of the fight hit before she enters in it.

She doesn't care.

She sneaks up and moves beside the door. Pressing her ear to the wall next to the door, she listens to the furious voices of Freddie and Marissa.

"What did you think you were doing?" Marissa's voice screams.

"Mom, relax." Freddie's voice says, trying to calm it.

"How can I relax when I caught you doing"-she pauses and makes a disgusted sound-"with that deliquent?"

"I told you to stop calling her that!" Freddie hisses.

"What you did crossed the line!" Marissa snaps. "I don't want her over here anymore! I don't even want you seeing her anymore!"

"Yeah, about that mom." Freddie says, lowering his voice. "Heh, um. Look, we were just around, and...we met up with one of Sam's friends from juvy."

"And?" Marissa demands.

"He's, um, trying to find her." Freddie says. "And he's kinda dangerous."

"Then have her call the police." Marissa reasons.

There was silence. Sam knew Freddie was giving his mother some kind of look.

"She can't stay here!" Marissa gasps. "Not after...that!"

"Mom," Freddie says evenly. "I know what happened was terribly, terribly wrong. You don't think I know that? But you got pregnant when you were sixteen, and you know that."

Sam blinks. _She didn't._

"And we're seventeen." Freddie says. "I'm almost eighteen. Look, I'm really sorry."

"Freddie, why her?" Marissa says helplessly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Freddie says roughly.

"Why some deliquent who's just going to throw her life away, like her own mother?"

"Look," Sam can hear Freddie clap his hands together. "She's getting better. She's not going to throw her life away. She's actually being serious about her life."

"But Freddie-"

"Mom, what does it matter if it's Sam or not? You don't approve of any of my relationships. You say none of them are good for me. But seriously, do you think I care?" Sam's eyes widen on how he was partically shouting at his mother. "Is it so wrong that I'm with Sam? Does it disgust you that much that I actually found someone who I truly love? Is that so wrong?"

"I just don't want this to end in heartbreak!" Marissa's voice softens. "You know it will."

"Why so sure of that?" Freddie snaps. "We're seniors. We aren't adults but we're learning how to love. We could make it. Why must you be this way?"

` "I don't want you to get hurt!" Marissa half-wails.

"Mom, just..." Freddie sounded flustered. "Just...leave me alone."

Sam knew that was the cue for her to move. She quickly runs soundlessly to his room and disappears behind the door. Freddie slams his mother's door open, and Sam's grateful she moved out of the way. She sits down on his bed, but doesn't pretend to go back to sleep. She just sits with a blank expression on her face.

Freddie swifts walk into the room, and pauses when he sees that Sam is awake. "How much did you hear?" He asks.

"Oh, only all of it." Sam says with a shrug.

"Don't listen to her." Freddie says. "I can't take it anymore. No matter what I say, she never listens..."

"Your mom is probably pretty frazzled." Sam says evenly. "I...I should probably just go."

Freddie grips her wrist. "I told you I'm not leaving you alone there."

"I could stay over Carly's or something..." Sam shrugs. She begins to walk out the door. "I, er, better get my car from my house, so..."

"Let me drive you there." Freddie offers. Sam figures that was a good choice; walking about outside could be dangerous, especially with Matt scourging the area. They slip out of the apartment before Marissa could stop them.

They walked down into his car and Freddie began driving. Sam started flitting with the strings of her hoodie, and she says, "I'm sorry about what happened."

"Don't be." Freddie says, not taking his eyes off the road. "We both know she's being unreasonable."

"Maybe she's right." Sam says damply.

"What do you mean?" Freddie glances sideways at her.

"You have straight A's." Sam says roughly. "You went to N.E.R.D. camp. I will probably have two or three years left to live before I'm shot by a fellow gangbanger."

"You think I would be better off without you?" Freddie says blankly.

Sam just looks at him. "Think about it."

Freddie is silent for a while. Sam digs her fingernails into the carseat. She knew what she said was true. That didn't mean she wanted it to be true.

"You know what?" Freddie says slowly.

Sam looks up at him.

"You're right. I would be better off without you." Freddie says. "I'm studious and stuck to the rules and you're a rebel. And we're in a relationship."

Sam realizes that her words are setting into him, and she ducks her head down.

"But that's the thing. I would be better off without you and you would be better off without me. But is that really what we want?" Freddie pulls over to the side of the road. The sun was beginning to set, turning the sky an orangish-pink color. "I mean, we're 'seddie' after all." He chuckles. "Would you really like it if we weren't fighting or arguing or being ourselves all the time? Do you really want to break up with me?"

"Nooo, I don't!" Sam says, almost desperately. "You know I don't. I just think..."

"...that we aren't right for each other?" Freddie finishes.

"I know it's not like me to worry about these kinds of things." Sam says drily. "But...it's true. And you know it."

"Who cares if it's true?" Freddie says simply.

Sam glances at him.

"Sam, things aren't placed out like fate." He says softly. "Fate doesn't exist."

She was surprised to hear him saying all of this. Freddie has always been a perfectionist. A strong believer in fate. Ever since he met Carly he was certain that fate destined them to be together. Everything had to be perfect. Just perfect.

"Funny to hear you say that." Sam mutters.

"Well, ever since I've been with you I realized that perhaps things are better spontanous." He says with a shrug.

Sam stays silent.

"So, do you want to break up with me?" Freddie repeats again. Sam always knew that he had one of the worst poker faces she has ever seen. The desperation was clear on his face. He was trying to hide it, but was failing miserably. Sam didn't want to break up at all; she was doing it for him. Doesn't he know that? But, he was giving her the choice, and he didn't want to either...

Funny that the two were only trying to help the other, but both their hearts would be broken in the process.

"No I don't." Sam repeats. "Do you?"

"Obviously not." Freddie replies. "So, what do you want to do about all of this...?"

"...I don't know." Sam says, blinking. "Do you think it's bad that we're so different."

"To be perfectly honest, Sammy," Freddie says, leaning close. "I actually like it a lot better."

Freddie was clearly going to kiss her but Sam decided that she would much rather make the first move. She presses her lips against his, pulling him closer. He immediately goes along with it, tilting his head down towards her. It wasn't one of their passionate ordeals, and within ten seconds or so Sam pulls away.

"So, we...aren't breaking up?" Freddie makes sure.

"No, I don't think so." Sam answers. She's secretly relieved, but she still wonders about the whole subject.

Oh, what does she care? Freddie pulls her again and while they're kissing, Sam realizes that it doesn't matter what the world thinks when they're alone. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks while they're in this car. It's just the two of them. Why should she care what other people think?

As long as they loved each other, why did other people matter?


	11. Chapter 11: Deadly Confrontations

**(A/N: No matter what happens in this chapter...no one dies. Sorry if this chapter is a little late. I've been super busy lately. I don't know if I can keep updating once a day but I'll try.)**

_11.) Deadly Confrontations (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie opens his apartment door and steps outside. He'd usually expect his mother to ask him where he was going, but she was silent. Freddie sighs inwardly and just continues on. Ever since their argument, his mother nearly disowned him. She never would of course (she was too protective of him) but she never addresses him unless it was manatory. Although Freddie hated the smothering, the cold shoulder was almost worse.

He knocks on Carly's door. She opens it, and he says, "Hey Carly. Is Sam still here?"

Carly simply steps back and points at the couch. Sam is sprawled out, her limbs in every direction as always when she sleeps. Freddie couldn't help but recall about how every time he sees Sam, she sleeps for at least two minutes. That may be Sam's hobby, just sleeping whenever she can.

"Wake up, Puckett!" Carly teases, pulling Sam off the couch. She opens her eyes and sits up.

"Hey Freddie," she yawns. "What time is it?"

"Three P.M." Freddie answers.

"Already?" Sam rubs her eyes. It's clear she didn't wash off the eyeliner she wears, and she smears it all over her eyes.

"Yeah." Freddie chuckles. "What time did you go to bed?"

"I didn't." She replies as she stands up. "What day is it today?"

"It's time for you to go home." Carly says, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Carly, we told you." Sam says. "If I go back there, Matt's gonna find me."

"It's been a week! Don't you think he's given up by now?" Carly questions.

"You know, she's right." Sam says to Freddie. "He has to be gone by now."

"How can you be so sure?" Freddie says warily.

"It _has_ been a week." Sam says. "Come on, why don't we just drive up to my house and see if it's been broken into or something? Any evidence to prove that he's been there recently?"

It was a good idea, Freddie must admit. It didn't mean he wanted to take the chance, though. "Might as well," he says relunctantly.

"Okay, wait out there, I'll be ready in a sec." Sam says. Freddie steps outside the apartment and waits. In about five minutes, Sam comes out wearing one of her penny-tees and skinny jeans. She didn't bother to brush her hair, but she did wash off the eyeliner and mascara and put on a fresher coat of it.

"Let's go." Freddie says, holding her hand. The two use the elevator to get down to the lobby, ignore Lewbert's yelling, then went out to the parking lot. They slip into Freddie's car and he drives in the direction of Sam's house.

Freddie glances at Sam. She was gripping the carseat hard with her fingernails. "Are you okay?" He asks her.

"Yeah, of course." She replies in her usual, husky Sam voice. "Do you think Bushwell Plaza will allow firearms into the building?"

"You want to bring your gun back with you?" Freddie questions.

"Why not?" Sam looks at him.

Freddie focuses on the road. "They'll probably say no to guns, but they never said anything about nunchuks or posioned neetles or ninja black eggs." He replies gleefully.

"Heh heh heh." Sam grins. "You've got a point."

"Listen, Sam..." Freddie begins. "How dangerous is this Matt guy anyway?"

"Oh, you know..." She waves him off.

"No, I don't know." Freddie says sternly. "Why was he in Juvy anyway?"

"Drug use. Was pratically involved in a murder plot that never went through. Oh, and standatory rape."

_"Standatory rape? A murder plot?"_ Freddie echoes in horror. "And you _dared_ fool around with this guy?"

"We were just messing around!" Sam answers. "Honestly, Freddie. We didn't do anything bad. I refused to go any farther because I would bet a truckload of fatcakes that he has some kind of STD."

"Didn't you realize it was dangerous?" Freddie questions.

"Of course I did." She answers.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Freddie, this was all so long ago. I don't remember, okay?" She finishes, clearly not wanting to go any farther.

They pull up to Sam's house. Sam opens the car door, but Freddie grabs her wrist and says, "Wait. Let's go in together."

"My mom's home, Freddie." Sam tells him. "It's fine."

"Come on," Freddie says. "Let me come inside."

"If my mom kills you, it's not my fault." Sam says. They go into the house together, and Sam opens the unlocked door and says, "Mom?"

"About time you came home, Samantha." Her mother replies. Freddie grips Sam's hand harder. In the list of the top ten things Freddie is afraid of, Pam Puckett was definetely one of them. The outragerously tall woman walked into eyesight, her spiked blonde hair just as messy as Sam's was. "Is that your boyfriend?"

"Yes, mom." Sam replies, walking past her without a care in the world. Freddie walked past Pam, half flinching away from her.

"Still?" Pam says in disbelief. "But you've been together for like, months!"

"That's how you're supposed to do it, mom." Sam says, opening the door to her own room. "Mom, was anyone here for me while I was gone."

'Yeah, some guy was." Pam replies.

Freddie and Sam whip their heads around. "What guy?"

"I don't know, some guy." Pam shrugs. "Just wanted to know if you were home."

"And what did you tell him?" Sam demands.

"That you were staying over a friend's house." Pam says.

Sam's eyes widened. "Did you tell him which one?"

"Nah." Pam says.

"Come on," Sam says to Freddie. "Let's get my nunchuks just in case he finds us."

The two go into Sam's room. Freddie watches as Sam fills a bag with every type of weapontry imaginable. She puts the obvious inside, the knives, the switchblades, her bat, her ninja eggs, and her gun, but then she starts putting in nunchuks and maces and box openers and pins and posioned neetles and darts and even a whip. Freddie knows that all of that was a run on sentence, but his amazement drowned out his awareness.

"I..." Freddie clears his throat. "I think that'll hold Matt off."

"You sure?" Sam questions.

"Pret-ty sure." Freddie says slowly.

"Okay, good." Sam says, standing up. She grabs her sack of weapontry and they walk out the door.

"You gonna be home tonight?" Pam says as they leave.

"Probably not." Sam replies.

"Cool." Pam says as they close the door.

"Your mother's rather...liberating." Freddie says.

"Yep." Sam shrugs. As they get into the car, Sam says, "Hey, do you think your mom would notice if I slept under your bed?"

"Why?" Freddie asks.

"I don't think Carly wants me staying over anymore."

"Why not?"

"She just got a new boyfriend, Noah. He's been sneaking over a lot while Spencer is asleep. So it's kind of awkward." Sam says, glancing away. "Is your mom still mad?"

"She's been ignoring me all week." Freddie says emptily.

"Maybe..." Sam looks up as if she was thinking. "...I could talk to her?"

"She'd probably attack you." Freddie scoffs.

"I think that isn't an issue." Sam says, holding up her bag of deadly materials.

"We could try it..." Freddie says unevenly. He knew it wouldn't work. At all. Why would his mom talk to Sam? There was no chance.

"Maybe I could-" Sam begins, but doesn't finish her train of thought. Something pops very loudly, and almost immediately the car begins to tilt unevenly. The tires screech to a stop, and one seems to be dragging.

Freddie stumbles out of the car. He quickly realizes that one of his tires has been shot. "Sam, get out here!" He calls.

Sam shuffles outside and sees the gunshot. "Oh, my God." She says, her eyes wide. "Someone shot your tire!"

"Who could of..." Freddie begins, but he sees that Sam isn't listening. Her eyes are trained on the buildings on the left side of the street. Freddie sees a small opening to an alleyway. He realizes where they are.

"We're in gang territory, aren't we?" He half-moans. Seattle was a clean city, but Sam lives right beside the projects. She practically grew up living in these alleyways. She knew her way around here. "Sam, don't-"

But the blonde was already slipping into the alleyway and running off. Freddie sees that she took her gun and her switchblades with her. "Oh, God damn it!" He hisses out loud before grabbing one of the knives Sam left behind and-for the hell of it-a ninja egg, and begins to follow her. "Sam, where did you go?"

"Come on, Matt." Freddie could hear Sam snap. "Come on out: let's do this."

"Sam, stop it!" Freddie finds Sam near a convience store parking lot and grabs her shoulder. "Let's just go: I have a spare tire in my trunk!"

"Someone shot your tire," Sam spat. "It was probably-"

"Me?" Some voice finishes. Freddie watches as Matt walks up to him. In one hand he was holding a cigarette, and in the other one, he was holding a pistol. Probably the same gun that he used to put a cap through his tire.

"Look, Matt." Sam says evenly. "I need you to leave us alone. What happened was months ago."

"You act as if I want to be back here." Matt rolls his eyes. "You know why I'm tracking you."

Freddie blinks. _There's a reason?_

Sam looks furious. "Oh, so I'm the bad guy for doing something morally correct?"

"You promised to keep your mouth shut and you didn't!" Matt snarls at her. "Now, you're going to pay for getting Reese and Helice in jail."

"Wait, what happened?" Freddie demands.

"Nothing." Sam says, her eyes still focused on Matt.

"Oh, boyfriend doesn't know?" Matt's eyes sparkle as he teases him. "So, you'll tell the cops but you won't tell your guy?"

"You know very well why I won't tell him." Sam hisses at him.

"Tell me what happened!" Freddie demands.

"Oh, it's a long story." Matt says lightly. "But I think I can find the time of day to tell ya. Well, our good friend Sam here learned a secret. Me and my homies were after this one guy. Sold us fake drugs for an even higher price. Found out he was doing it to others. So, we were gonna rid the earth of him and Sam agreed to help us." He whips his head around and glares at Sam. "But instead, she called the cops on us."

"You were going to kill someone over fake drugs!" Sam says, desperation dripping off her voice. "I may be heartless and cruel, but I'm not going to kill someone over a bag full of sugar. Look, this happened a long time ago. Will you leave us alone?"

"You're right, this was a while ago." Matt says softly. "A year, right? Well, they couldn't prove that I was a part of it, but they found the plan out from Reese and Helice. Now they're behind bars, and it's your fault."

"What can I do to make up for this?" Sam says warily. Freddie knew Sam would rather fight, but this could easily be a life or death situation.

"Die." Matt simply responds. He lifts up the pistol, but that's enough for Sam to lift up her own gun at him. Freddie's eyes widen, and before he knew what he was doing, he steps in-between the two people.

That was practically a death sentence, but he wasn't going to let Sam die over, like she said, a bag full of sugar that was mistaken for cocaine. Sam immediately rushes up to him and pulls him aside, half-protecting him.

"Aww, you two are so cute." Matt scoffs. "Come on, Sammy. Are you willing to let him die for you?"

"Freddie, just go." Sam says, her voice on edge. "I got this."

"You're both going to die!" Freddie protests. "I'm not leaving you here!"

"Freddie, go!" Sam hisses at him. She glances downward towards his pocket and she gives him a half-wink. Before he could even process it, she shoves him away.

What was the half-wink for? He realizes what's in his pocket and he begins to stalk off towards Matt, trying to look as non-hostile as possible. As soon as he was close enough, he whips out the ninja egg, and uses it just as Sam directed him to. He crushes it in his hand and blows it towards Matt's eyes.

He never saw a ninja black egg in use before, but damn, it was effective. The broken glass inside the egg brushes against his half-closed eyes and he falls to the ground in agony. His gun goes off, and both Freddie and Sam hit the floor in terror.

"Are you hit? Are you hit?" Freddie screams to Sam over and over again.

"N-No..." she stutters. She looks at him and suddenly her eyes widen in horror.

"What?" He gasps. "What's wrong?"

Sam is clearly trembling from head to toe. She lifts her finger towards him. Freddie checks himself up and down, and sees that a bullet must have grazed his shoulder. He's bleeding rather quickly, the red fluid running down his arm and to the cold floor.

He can only process one thought:

_I've been shot._

"H-How?" he mumbles. "But it d-didn't hurt. I can't feel a thing." His shoulders slump forward and before he knows it, he's sprawled across the floor.

Sam rushes over to him. She's crying in terror, and is hardly capable of dialing 9-1-1. Once they answer, she screams, "Hello, is anyone there? I-I'm on Valleyedge street, and there are two guys here that need medical attention stat! ...One of them is shot, and the other one...it's hard to explain. Just send abulences, police-anyone! Hurry!"

She hangs up the phone. Freddie is now struggling to stay concious. Sam is sobbing over him, saying over and over: "Stay with me, baby. Please don't go!" Freddie tries to stay awake for her but with every passing second, he grows dizzier and dizzier.

"I can't see!" He hears Matt moan over and over again. "I can't see!"

"Just stay still." Freddie half-moans to him. Sam's eyes brighten with hope as he speaks. "Help...is...coming..."

He's pretty sure he hears abulence sirens, but everything was beginning to fade away. He hears footsteps running towards him. He watches as two men in white evulate him and attempt to move Sam away from him. But Sam was screaming at them that she refuses to leave, and they have to haul both him and Sam into an abulence. They take Matt with them too, puzzling over what could have happened to his eyes.

The last thing Freddie was aware of was Sam's hand grasping his before he blacked out.

**(A/N: Please don't stop reading cuz of Freddie getting hurt. He'll be fine, I promise. If Freddie died, it wouldn't exactly cure our Seddie hearts, would it? :3)**


	12. Chapter 12: Could This Be The End?

_12.) Could This Be The End? (Sam's POV)_

Sam's hand was completely entangled with Freddie's. Everytime someone even _dared _ask her to leave, to give Freddie some air, she would whirl on them and they learned quickly to not mess with her. She knows they were only trying to help, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to leave Freddie, and that's final.

_This is it._ Sam thinks numbly. She grasps Freddie's hand, still feeling the warmth of him rush through her. Oh God, how long would it be before it fades away? _He's going to die. He's going to leave me._

The thought of Freddie actually dying, actually falling asleep and never waking up, the thought of him never saying goodbye... Was just too hard. Too hard.

_Please, Freddie._ Sam's eyes close tightly and she feels tears slide through. She never cries unless it's serious. Or if it's about Freddie. _Hold on. You got help now._

The people inside the abulence have been strictly business. Sam asked them several times what was going to happen to Freddie, but they've been silent. What did they expect? That Sam would sit still and just wait all peacefully while her boyfriend bled out misery?

How could anyone sit back and watch the one they love die? So it was a bit unfair that they refuse to answer any of her questions.

They arrive at the hospital. Sam still refuses to let go of Freddie, and even as they pull him into the emergency room, her hand is still gripping his.

"Miss-" a younger looking doctor begins.

"No, I am not letting go of him!" Sam snaps at him. "Nothing you can say or do will make me let go of him."

"We may need to operate." He says. "You can't be in here, or at least nearly on top of him, while we do that."

Sam feels the blood drain away. "Operate?" she mumbles. "Why do you need to operate?"

"The bullet may still be in his shoulder." He says. "You can stay in the room, I suppose, but we need you to tell us of an adult we can contact. He's a minor, correct?"

"He's seventeen." Sam says warily. "Here's his mom's number." She shuffles for her phone in her pocket with her free hand, and pulls it out and gives him the number.

"What about the other guy?" The doctor asks.

"He's nineteen." She says. "That's all I know."

"Can you possibly explain the damage to his eyes?" The doctor narrows his eyes.

"Nah." Sam turns away.

Time passes, and finally the doctor comes up to her and says again. "Miss, we're serious. We need to see if the bullet is still in his shoulder."

Sam glances at Freddie's hand, which she was still holding.

"Please." The doctor says.

She finally lets go, and her hand feels cold and empty. _What if that was the last time I will ever be with Freddie while he's alive? _Sam thinks, her head filling with what can only be described as awful, awful thoughts.

The hospital doors open and Carly, Spencer, Gibby, and Marissa storm inside. Sam immediately stands up.

"What happened?" Carly immediately gasps.

"We were near an alleyway, and this one guy was about to kill us, and he shot Freddie!" Sam tells them, quickly.

"Where is he?" Spencer asks.

"He's right over there." Sam says. She immediately catches up to the people who were now wheeling Freddie into the emergency room.

"This is all your fault!" Marissa snarls at Sam. But Sam was already disappearing into the emergency room. She could deal with Freddie's freakish mom later. Right now, she didn't matter.

Sam stayed the entire time, only a few meters away from Freddie. He looked so small and pale with all of the machines and wires plugged into him. Sam focused on the floor, praying to God that he could live through this. Soon after, the same doctor approached her and says, "We have some news."

"Can't decide whether they're good or bad?" Sam jokes weakly. What's the point of joking now? Sam feels as if she's about to crack.

"The bullet only grazed his shoulder, and did not get lodged inside." The doctor says. "However...he'll need some blood."

Sam blinks. Freddie had type A blood. And so did Sam...

"I'll donate some." Sam says immediately.

"What's your blood type?" he asks.

"A. We both have A." Sam tells him.

"Okay." He writes this down on a notepad. "We also have some news for your other friend..."

"He's not my friend." Sam dismisses the subject. "He just, erm, happened to be there."

The doctor clearly did not believe her, but he says, "Well, even if it doesn't concern you, he'll need an eye transplant."

_Ouch._ Sam shrugged it off. He shot Freddie. He's insane. Why should she care? "Well, when he wakes up, have him call some friends up." Sam tells the doctor. "Because like I said, we don't know him."

The doctor wanted to ask more, but he knows that Freddie can't go too much longer without blood. So he sends Sam to a room so she could donate the blood.

_(Freddie's POV)_

Freddie stares at the swirling violet around him. Violet and black. Swishing and swirling and dancing around him like leaves in the wind. He lifts up one hand and he feels like he can sense the thick purple clouds running through his fingers. He feels as though he was in a glass of soda water, and someone was pouring the violet concentration for flavor. Thick. Fuzzy. Warm.

He opens his eyes, and it burns. Still, he presses on, struggling to open his eyes. His head is dizzy and full of violet clouds. He shifts upward, and realizes he has chords and wires and all sorts of things attached to him. His shoulder was throbbing in pain. He's confused. Where was he?

A doctor rushes up to him. "Hi sweetie." she says. "Don't be alarmed."

Freddie struggles to speak. His throat feels as though he swallowed down the violet concentration, not the mixture of it with soda water, and it felt gloppy and thick and hard to speak. He focuses his watery eyes on the doctor in front of him.

"Do you remember what happened to you?" she asks gently.

Freddie searches his memory. He remembers being in the parking lot with Sam... "I..." he chokes. "...'was shot?"

"Yes. The bullet wasn't lodged in you and we stopped the bleeding. You lost a lot of blood, though...but a friend donated some."

"Sam?" he says immediately. Sure, his mom had type A blood as well, but it seemed far more likely Sam would be the first to donate. As if she'd give his mom a choice.

"Yes, that's her name. Now, Fredward, I'm sure you're feeling dizzy at the moment. Just sit tight and in an hour or so we'll determine whether or not you need more blood."

"Can I have some visitors?" Freddie coughs.

"I'm afraid, until further notice, we think it is best if you don't have visitors." The doctor says. "I will, however, tell them that you are awake and talking." She smiles and begins to walk towards the door.

"Can you please just send Sam in?" Freddie begs.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to be patient." The doctor is already opening the door.

"Please!" Freddie calls after her, his desperation getting the best of him. But the doctor had already closed the door, and Freddie slumps back down. About five minutes go by before he hears footsteps stomping very close to the door.

He hears one of the other doctors say, "Hey! Wait!" but whomever is causing distress simply ignores them. The door to Freddie's room slams open, and he realizes that it is Sam.

The distance between the two closes as Sam runs up to him. The two then entangle in a bear hug, despite the bitter, stabbing pain in Freddie's shoulder. Sam's already crying, and the thought of nearly dying and leaving Sam brings tears to Freddie's eyes as well.

"I thought you were dead!" Sam sobs over and over again.

"Shh." Freddie is trying to sooth his crying girlfriend but he knew there was no point. How would he react, if he thought Sam was dying? Exactly the same way, if not worse. "I'm okay. It's okay. Sam, you're hurting my shoulder."

"Sorry." She pulls away but she's grasping his hands like vises, as if she's the one who was struggling to cling to life.

"Don't be." He whispers. He swallows painfully again and says, "God. So what's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Thinking the person you love is going to die?"

Sam shoves his good shoulder, and although Freddie's numb from hospital-quality painkillers, it still hurts. "Well, don't go doing that again!" Sam growls at him. "You nearly gave Momma a heart attack!"

"Can't have that, can we?" Freddie muses.

"They say you're going to be fine when you can find humor in the situation." Sam tells him.

"Wasn't I the one who told you that?" Freddie questions with a smirk.

"Yeaup." Sam smiles. She gently brushes the damp hair away from his forehead.

"What about Matt?" Freddie asks.

Sam's eyes shadow. "He...needs an eye transplant."

Freddie's jaw drops.

"Look, he shot you." Sam interrupts before he could say anything. "We blinded him to the point of needing new eyes. He didn't tell anyone that he was the one that shot you, and I didn't tell either. We'll just say it was a passing gangbanger. And he deserves getting his eyes blown to bits!"

Freddie slumps down again. "Can't help but feel bad." He murmurs.

"He. Shot. You." Sam says slowly.

"I know, I know." Freddie half-groans. "But now he has to find eyes, and God knows how long that'll take."

Sam grips his hand. "Just worry on getting better." Sam snaps.

Freddie grins again. "Sure thing, Princess Puckett."

They sit in silence for a moment, still hand and hand, and Freddie says, "How worried were you?"

"I don't want to discuss it." Sam mumbles.

"Seriously." Freddie prods her. "You can tell me, can't you?"

"I nearly got into a fight with the doctors when they dared told me to let go of you." Sam answers bluntly.

"Aww." Freddie can't help but say. "Sammy restrained herself. I'm surprised you didn't kill them."

"If I killed them, then who would save you?" Sam says simply.

"I probably would've beaten them into a pulp if they told me I couldn't stay with you if this happened to you." Freddie tells her.

"Sure you would." Sam says.

"No, seriously!" Freddie coughs.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam turns away and blushes. Freddie couldn't help but savor those moments. "Whatever."

The doctor opens the door. "Sam, will you _please_ step out of Freddie's room?" she asks desperately.

"Go ahead, I'll be fine." Freddie promises.

Sam looks at Freddie, then at the doctor, then at Freddie, then at the doctor. Finally, she says, "I'm going to visit soon, though."

"Of course." The doctor nervously smiles. Freddie can't help but chuckle. Oh God, what has Sam put these doctors through while he was out?

"I love you." Freddie says right before Sam leaves.

She turns back and says, "Love you too. Keep breathing."

"Keep...being Sam." He adds lamely. She just snickers and walks out the door.


	13. Chapter 13: NotSoDeadly Confrontations

_13.) Not-So-Deadly Confrontations (Sam's POV)_

Sam lost herself in the sweet, sparkly, buttery delicious that was a fatcake. She bit slowly into it, savoring every sprinkle of pink-colored sugar and fluffy white cream. Even as she sits in the artificial flavored estacy, she was aware of Freddie chuckling.

"Enjoying that there?" He smiles at her.

"Om nom nom," she murmurs back.

"Can I have one?" Freddie asks.

"No!" Sam flashs back. Freddie just rolls his eyes. Sam finishes the sugary goodness and says, "How's your shoulder feel?"

"As if a gangbanger shot it." He smirks. "Actually, so much better. I think I have full use of it again."

"Well, it has been a month or so." Sam says. "Does it still hurt at all?"

"Oh, you know." Freddie says harshly. "Only when you tackle me."

"I don't tackle you." Sam says, crumbling up the fatcake wrapper and shoving it into her pocket.

"Yes, you do!" Freddie protests. Sam stands up and faces Freddie. "You always do. You did it twen-"

But Sam was already tackling Freddie to the ground again.

"Ow! Sam!" Freddie groans. "What was that for?"

Sam just grins and stands up. "Does your shoulder still hurt?"

"Well, kinda!" Freddie snaps.

"Theny you're kinda better." Sam concludes. She sits back down on the couch and pulls out her phone. "Hey, I think your mom's gonna be home soon."

"Yeah, probably." Freddie scrambles to his feet. "I think she's starting to forgive me."

"How so?" Sam says.

"She started talking to me again." Freddie says emptily.

Sam looks up at him. "Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No." Freddie says stiffly. "That would never work."

Sam shrugs. She checks her phone again, and sees that she recieved a text. She looks at it, and it says:

_I see you._

This sends shivers down Sam's spine. She closes her phone and says, "Hey, I'm gonna so scout the hallways to see if your mom's almost here."

"Hurry back." Freddie says, rubbing his half-injured shoulder.

Sam slips out his door and goes down the elevator. She walks across the lobby, ignoring Lewbert's screeching, and is about to exit the door when she hears the voice, "I'm right here, Goldielocks."

Sam turns around, sees Matt standing there, and says. "Well, well. So I'm Goldielocks again?"

"Whatever." Matt opened his eyes wide and rolled them. Sam knew he was just trying to show her his new ones. One was completely ice blue and the other was completely black, no color to distribute between the pupil and the actual color. It was creepy and Sam shyed away.

"Nice eyes you got there." Sam says warily.

"You can thank a couple dead people for them." Matt snaps back.

Sam just stares at him, head on.

"What do you want?" She says.

"What do you think I want?" Matt folds his arms across his chest.

Sam notices that Lewbert is watching and she walks over to him and bitch-slaps him so hard that he falls unconcious. Of course, she slapped the cheek that _didn't_ have the wart. She walks back over to Matt.

"You still hit good." Matt chuckles.

"Okay, so listen." Sam interrupts. "I'll give you the money. That's it. Then you get your ass out of here and never speak of this to anyone. _Especially _not Ultraviolet or X-Rated."

"If they saw me, they'd kill me anyway." Matt says. "You owe me a lot more than eighty dollars."

"If you don't get out of here, then I'll send Severa on you." Sam hisses.

"Okay, okay." Matt says as Sam paws over the money.

"Now get out of here." Sam growls.

"This isn't the end, Goldielocks." Matt says as he leaves Bushwell Plaza.

"It will be if I get Severa on you, Flashflood." She answers back.

And that's the last she sees of him for a while.

Sam begins walking back upstairs when she hears someone open the door again. She sees Marissa walk in and Marissa freezes and glares at her. She gives Sam the cold shoulder as she walks past her and says nothing.

Sam didn't want to do it, but she knew she had to. "Marissa, wait."

"What, _miss Samantha Puckett_?" Marissa flashes back.

Sam waves her hands away. "Look, don't you think we need to talk."

"There's nothing to discuss!" Marissa snaps

_You're physco, lady!_ "Listen, I know you're upset..."

"Oh, why would I be upset? I didn't catch my son doing"-she makes a disgusted sound-"with a deliquent, did I?"

"Yes, deliquent. Blonde headed demon. Uncivilizied. Unclassy." Sam snaps. "Call me whatever you want. That's not the point here."

"Oh, then what is?" Marissa folds her arms over her chest.

"You really hurt Freddie!" Sam says.

"How?" Marissa asks, still glaring.

"He's very upset that you won't talk to him. Look, we didn't mean for that to happen. We're sorry." Sam tells Marissa, actually meaning it.

"Sure you are." Marissa sneers. "You only care about yourself, Puckett. What are you going to do when you break Freddie's heart? He's so into you that he can't even think for himself anymore. That's why he won't side with me!"

"Maybe he won't side with you because you're _insane_!" Sam hisses. "Will you listen? This isn't about me, or even about me and Freddie together! Freddie is growing up. Do you really think it's fair to treat your seventeen year old son like he's five?"

"If you two are going to behave like you're five, then yes!" Marissa growls.

Sam takes a deep breath. She struggles to keep her calm but it was getting increasingly hard. She claps her hands together and says, "We are both sorry about what happened. What happened was uncalled for. What more do you want?"

"I don't know." Marissa says, almost helplessly.

"We use protection." Sam says. "All the time. I promise. Can you just talk to Freddie?"

"What can I say to him?"

"That you apologize for being a cold-hearted jerk to him?" Sam suggests. She remembers she is talking to Marissa, and Marissa glares at Sam. "Come on now. When it comes to the whole teenage sex thing...we both have zero room to talk..."

This shuts Marissa up.

Sam decides this is the best way to end the conversation. "Tell Freddie I said I had to go home. Oh, and thanks for this lovely chat, Marissa." Sam starts to walk away.

"That's Ms. Benson to you." Was Marissa's only reply.


	14. Chapter 14: Blast From The Past

**(A/N: This chapter will have some references and people from another show.)**

_14.) Blast From The Past (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie was driving to Sam's house, his brow creased in confusion. He had recieved one text from Sam, telling him to _"Bring your weight in soda water and then get the hell over here"_ and she wouldn't reply to any of his texts and calls. What was wrong? What could she possibly need soda water for? And why won't she respond to him?

He had picked up a few bottles of soda water, then was heading to her house. Once he arrived he walked into her house without knocking. Not as if she had to let him in, anyway. He looked around. "Sam, where are you?"

"In the kitchen." Her voice replies. "You got the stuff?"

"Sam, what are you doing?" Freddie asks as he walks into the kitchen. He realizes that Sam has basically pulled out everything that is in their cabinets and it's scattered everywhere.

She turns to him and says, "Oh good, you got the soda water." She takes it from him and takes out another glass. "This is gonna be great."

"May I ask you what you're doing?" Freddie says, puzzled.

"I'm making my own pop." She replies.

Freddie just blinks at her. "Pop? You can just mix every food group you have in your house and add soda water and it'd be pop!"

"Watch me." Was her only reply. Freddie knew where she was going with this. Basically all that any pop is, whether it be Peppy Cola or Spritex or anything, was basically soda water mixed with a saturated material for flavor made up of chemicals and what not. But the saturated material is a well developed mix that requires all sorts of chemicals made in labs and a seventeen year old that was suddenly struck with creativity wouldn't be able to recreate it in one day.

He shook his head fondly. Only Sam would consider the fact that she'd possibly be able to make her own soda pop.

She takes a cup that she filled with a thick syrup and pours it into a cup containing the soda water. "What's in that syrup?" Freddie asks.

"Sugar, lemon juice, sugar, some kind of powder my mom uses, sugar, parsley, and more sugar." Sam says. "Wait, that's only about a quarter of the stuff I put in it. I honestly forgot. I keep adding random shit. I've been working on this all day."

She mixes the soda water and the syrup, and says, "Now, here's the soda water for the carbanation."

"Soda water alone tastes like crap." Freddie agrees.

Sam adds the ice and sets the glass down. It was a brown color just like Peppy Cola was. There didn't seem to be a difference when Freddie just looked at it. Sam glances at the glass, and then at him, then at the glass, and then at him.

"Dare you to drink it." She teases.

Freddie stiffens. "No way!"

"Come on," Sam pleads. "Try it for me. I worked so hard on it."

"But Sam-" Freddie protests.

"Please!" Sam begs, touching his arm gently. "Pretty please!"

Freddie groans, but he knows what he has to do. Swallowing nervously, he takes a single sip of what could very well be posion. Almost immediately he spat it out.

"Was it bad?" Sam asks, her ice-blue eyes wide.

Freddie coughs. It was a combination of everything that should not be ingested. And yet it was in his mouth. He begins to gag, falling to his knees.

Sam throws him a towel, but Freddie was already scrambling to his feet and running to her bathroom. After vomiting for three consecutive minutes, he stumbles out.

"Okay," Sam says evenly. "That was a complete dramatization."

"You wanna bet?" Freddie snarls. "You try it!"

"Hell no." Sam snickers. She scampers away and Freddie can hear her putting things away.

"May I ask what that powder is that you say your mom uses?" Freddie coughs.

"Here." Sam tosses him a small bag filled with a light brown powder. He opens it up and peers at it.

"Is this coke mixed with chocolate?" Freddie asks bluntly.

Sam glances at it, then snickers. "Might be. Try it."

"No way!" Freddie pushes it away. "I'm not a druggie."

"I dare you to eat a spoonful of it." Sam says, her eyes twinkling.

"No! Stop daring me to eat things!" Freddie snaps. "Even if I did eat it, I wouldn't get high. You have to snort it."

"I know. But still. Eat it." Sam snickers. "Five dollars."

"No way!"

"Ten."

"No, Sam!"

"Twenty."

"Sam, stop it!"

Sam gives up and walks out of her kitchen. "Whatever. Come on, get up." Freddie pushes himself to his feet and follows her. She walks into her room and turns her computer on.

"Was it really that bad?" Sam asks him.

"Yeah, kind of." He chuckles. "Next time you want some pop, I'll pick you up some."

"I'll give the rest I made to Gibby." Sam laughs. "He'll probably like it."

Her laptop loads and she says, "Wanna go on Chat Roulette?"

"Sam, you know that all that is is a bunch of guy's..." Freddie's voice trails off.

"Which makes it fun." She smirks. He gives her an appalled look and she says hastily, "No, not like that. You can always insult them about it."

"But it's gross!" Freddie protests.

"Also fun." Sam smiles. "Here, lemme load it up and get the cam on." She goes to work. Freddie watches her fiddle around with the technology and remembers that she can be very smart with it when she wants to be. But Freddie can so much as touch an USB cord and she'd insult him.

She gets her cam on and loads up Chat Roulette. Of course, the first eight people they "chat" with are just guys with their own camera focused on...one thing...to which Sam says inapporipate things to, such as "Too small!" and "Fake!". Although Freddie half agreed with her, he simply buried his head in his hands so he could ignore the vile images.

Finally, they came across an actual person and not just the head of...something else. He looks up and sees a dark-haired girl, wearing glasses and a low blue tanktop. She smiles and says, "Yes! Oh, yes!"

"Hello." Sam says simply.

"Oh good, two people!" The girl says, looking at both of them. She must be at twenty. "Finally, some people instead of-"

"So how are you doing?" Freddie interrupts, smiling at Sam.

"Actually, I need to ask you a question." She says eagerly. Freddie sees that she is in a darkly lit room, and she has a glass of what appears to be wine near her. Hmm.

"And that is?" Sam demands.

"How would you..." She stretches over and grabs a glass. It is filled with a carbanated liquid. "...be one of the first testers of nY20?"

"What?" Freddie blinks.

"Is that like a drink or something?" Sam asks.

"No, it's more of a chemical." The girl says. "Nixogen and Hydrogen, also known as H20, Genodren, Lynogen, and Exostren. Very organic. Just a Quinnvention I decided to whip up."

"And what exactly do you want us to do?" Freddie says slowly.

"Just meet me here; we live on the Pacific Coast. You both drink the nY20 and I test the effects of it on your bodies." The girl says eagerly.

"We'll do it!" Sam declares.

"Sam!" Freddie protests. "What if this is dangerous?" He turns back to the girl on the cam and says, "Are you sure we won't die if we take that?"

"Oh, come on!" The girl laughs, almost nervously. "The odds of nY20 being fatal are very..." She gropes for words to use. "...slim!"

Suddenly, from the corner of the camera, a guy who must be about twenty also and is currently wearing zero shirt (thankfully pants) comes into view and says, "Quinn, come on! No one wants to drink your chemicals!"

"Wait, wait, we might have some takers here." The girl tells the guy.

"Um, no, we'll go without it!" Freddie tells her.

"Wait, Freddie!" Sam says. "Come on! This could be cool."

Freddie ignores his girlfriend. "We don't want to buy, thanks."

"No, it's totally free!" The girl says. The guy in the far left of the camera walks up and pushes the curly, pale brown hair out of his eyes.

"Hey, wait." The guy says. "Is this iCarly?"

Sam smiles. "Yep. Now, keep talking. Where can we test out this thing?"

"We are _not_ testing it!" Freddie snaps.

"Oh, wow, this is iCarly!" The girl smiles. "Hi! I'm Quinn! I've been a big fan of your webshow!"

"Thanks." Freddie gives her a small smile, just out of friendliness.

"Wait, that's a good idea!" Sam shakes Freddie's arm. "We can show our reactions to the drug on iCarly!"

"We. Are. Not. Testing. It." Freddie says slowly.

"You know, we've been big fans of your show ever since we started dating." The curly haired guy said, putting his arm around Quinn's small shoulders. "I'm Logan, by the way."

Freddie nods to him. Then Quinn says, "Ooh, you know who would test this out for us? Dustin! Hold on, lemme call him." She then disappears out of the camera's view.

"You know," Freddie says jokingly to Sam. "I bet the pop you made might be a similar concauction to whatever nY20 is."

"Shut up." Sam shoves his shoulder. Freddie flinches, his mouth opening wide with pain.

"She's always doing stuff like this." Logan chuckles. "She once made this chemical that made our goldfish start eating each other."

Sam laughs. "Actually, wait. You know, Freddie, you might be right. Whatever is in that pop could be considered hazardous." She walks out of the room.

Freddie just sighs and presses his chin against his palm. "She's a handful." He jokes to Logan.

Logan's brownish eyes pop open. "You can say that about mine as well." He snickers when Freddie hears Quinn's voice yelp out in pleasure.

"So you'll do it, Dustin?" Freddie hears Quinn say. "Oh my God, you're so awesome!"

Logan just chuckles. "Everyday she manages to find a new thing to experiment with. Whether it be testing on bugs or birds or cats or people, she'll find a way. It wasn't always this way. We used to fight all the time. It's like a love-hate thing." Logan leans back, crossing his built arms over his chest. He shrugs with a smile. "And...I love it."

"I think we're both on the same page here." Freddie laughs. "You know from years of iCarly how much we fought. Then it all...happened."

"Don't regret it?" Logan asks him.

"Never." Freddie answers, more honest than ever. "And never will."

Suddenly, Freddie could hear a miserable hacking as well as glass shattering. Then he heard the quick footsteps running towards the bathroom, as well as the sound of vomiting.

"She okay?" Logan asks.

Freddie smirks. "She must of tried her own drink." He stands up. "I better help her."

"Bye." Logan says.

"See ya." Freddie says.

Right before he shuts off the camera, he hears Sam moan, "Oh God, what did I just drink?"


	15. Chapter 15: Halloween Depression?

**(A/N: Halloween Entry...The drama will continue in the next chapter with a whole new problem...Heh heh heh. Happy Halloween guys. I'm stuffing my face with candy as we speak. Oh, and if you're concerned with the whole Seniors-going-trick-or-treating thing, I'll have you know that my brother and his girlfriend who are both seniors went trick-or-treating :3)**

_15.) Halloween Depression? (Sam's POV)_

Sam opens Carly's door, steps outside her apartment, and promptly knocks on Freddie's door. "Hurry up!" She calls. "It starts in an half an hour!"

"Keep your pants on," Freddie snaps through the door. Sam smiles at Freddie's harsh voice. It's almost pleasing to see that Freddie is picking up her habits.

"Maaaaybe." Sam teases. "Now hurry up!"

Freddie steps out of his apartment. He's wearing torn clothing, and his hair is spiked up. He gives Sam a flirtatous smile. "I didn't put the fake blood on yet, but what do you think?"

"Good, good." Sam adjusts his ripped jacket. "I can't wait until we get ahold of the fake blood. That stuff is amazing."

"Yeah, true." Freddie snickers. He looks Sam up and down. "Yeah, well, about what you said about you 'maybe' having your pants on..."

Sam, who is always ready to talk dirty to Freddie, stops eruptly when Carly comes out of her apartment. She's dressed as a hot french maid (God...no surprise...!) and she looks at the two and says, "We're seniors now. Don't you think it's a little immature to be going as something scary?"

"It's immature that we're still trick-or-treating!" Freddie laughs.

"I'm just doing it for a pillow case full of candy." Sam says, grabbing Freddie's hand.

"Well, I'll see you guys later." Carly says. "I'm going trick-or-treating with Todd."

"Who's Todd?" Freddie asks.

"Her new boyfriend." Sam says, rolling her eyes. "Come on, let's head to my place."

"Again, I'll ask." Freddie says as they walk into the elevator. "Are you _sure_ your neighborhood isn't that bad?"

"You know I live on the edge of the projects." Sam scoffs. "On the _edge._ I've been going trick-or-treating around there my whole life, and nothing happened to me."

"Because they fear you." Freddie chuckles. He kisses Sam on her cheek. "Don't worry. You're by far the cutest zombie I've ever seen."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam turns her face away, because _God forbid_ he sees her blush. She knew Freddie seeked out those moments, and she hated it. "Well, you know how I'll get when you have fake blood on." She says, sneaking a wink.

They arrive to Sam's neighborhood after Freddie drives them, and Sam says, "Okay. We hit a few houses until we get to that one guy's house who just leaves out bowls of candy. Then, we head out. Deal?"

"Of course." Freddie says, shuffling a beanie hat on. "Grab a jacket. It's freezing."

"Nah." Sam says, searching through her purse. "Wait, do you have the fake blood?"

"Yep." He says, searching for it.

"The big jug-thing?" Sam questions.

"Of course, of course." He pulls out a half liter of blood. Sam wraps her arms around his neck.

"You're awesome!" She says, taking the liter from him.

"I know." Freddie smirks. "Now, come on. We only got two hours."

"We won't be out that long. All we need to do is hit that house anyways." Sam takes the blood and fills her hands with it.

"Careful, it stains." Freddie warns.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam begans smearing it all over her face, arms, and hair. She outlines her eyes with the dark black makeup stuff and uses white powder to pale her face. She looks at Freddie. "How do I look?"

"The most beautiful zombie I've ever seen." Freddie grins. "And you have to admit, all zombies are sexy enough, and you broke the scale."

Sam just nudges Freddie. "Heh...now you put it on."

Freddie douses himself with the red liquid, putting it all around his mouth and throat, as well as making himself pale with the powder and using the dark around his own eyes. Sam smirks at him. She's had a fetish for blood-doused guys since she could toddle. Blame that on her mother...

"Well? Whatcha think?" Freddie asks.

"Gorgeous. Come on, let's go." Sam leaps out the door and Freddie joins her. Sam grips her pillow case and points foreward. "Let's hit it, then."

"Promise you won't scare any little kids?" Freddie says.

"I'm not promising that." Sam snickers.

"But they're just kids..." Freddie says. "I remember when you were a werewolf for halloween back in 6th grade. You scared me half to death!"

"Aww, I did?" Sam flutters her eyelashes in the most obnoxious way possible.

"Well, you leapt on me and bit me, so..."

"Good memories." Sam smiles.

"Better now." Freddie shrugs.

Sam knew that in the nighttime, with them dressed as zombies, this would be a God-awful time to start talking about this.

She doesn't care.

"Something wrong?" Sam asks him.

"I don't know." Freddie shrugs. "Nothing."

Sam touches his arm. "Can't you talk to me?"

"While we're zombies, no." Freddie chuckles.

He had a point.

They arrive at the house. As always, the fools left out three bowls of candy and left a sign that says, _"Take one please! :)"_ And, as always, Sam takes one of the completely full bowls and over-turns it into her pillow case.

"Too easy." She smirks. "Come on, then."

Freddie pours one of the bowls into his own pillow case, and they split the third. Sam stands up and says, "Well...I guess that's it?"

"Yep." Freddie stands beside her. "Our last time trick-or-treating..."

Sam and Freddie walk back to his car. Once inside, Sam says, "It'll be fun, getting this make-up off."

"Yeah, true." Freddie says, beginning to drive.

"So what was the problem?" Sam asks him. "And don't say nothing. I want to know."

Freddie just shrugs. "I mean, there was no real problem...I just don't like talking about the past."

Sam blinks. "Why?"

Freddie seems to be thinking of words to say. "Because..." He murmurs, then his voice rises in an angry shriek. "Because the past sucks!" He hisses. "Think about it. I was hated, bullied, rejected by everyone..."

"You were depressed?" Sam's eyes widen and widen and widen. It's not that she was surprised...but Freddie was one of those people who she'd never expect to be depressed.

He must of hid it _very_ well.

"Well, I guess..." Freddie says warily. "I mean, give me a reason for why I shouldn't of been depressed. I only had two friends, one who constantly insulted me. Oh, and they were both girls. My mom humiliated and embarassed me to the point where I had to move away. My first crush put me down so many times. My dad is..." He stops eruptly.

"You know what?" Sam says roughly. Freddie almost cringes, as if expecting the worst. "You know what? Life sucks." She fiddles with her shoelaces. "We get judged and humiliated and ruined and then we die. That's just how it is."

Freddie goes silent.

"But it doesn't have to be that way." Sam says softly. "You know...one time, when I was seven, my mom was gone for four days. I was lying outside and nearly died until some strangers brought me food."

"Oh my God." Freddie's brown eyes widen. "How come you didn't tell me that? And why do you still live with her?"

"Don't you get it?" Sam says. "It's in the past. Who cares what happened in the past? It hurts, I know, but you find a way to make up for it..."

Freddie looks as if he's battling something inside. Something that even Sam wouldn't dare venture to look for. "You know..." He begins. "When I was in Junior year, I was really depressed."

Sam nods for him to go on.

"I had to smuggle depression medicine because if my mom saw that I was taking it, she would have a stroke. Anyway, one day, my sources to it got cut off. I couldn't get a hold of it no matter what..."

"And?" Sam asks.

"I nearly...um...killed myself."

Sam's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me."

"It was getting really bad then." Freddie says. "Like...really bad. So I...I had a bottle of ibiprophen with me and I had my door locked. I was going to swallow every pill."

"I can't believe you haven't told me this yet!" Sam wails. "I would have helped you, even if we weren't dating yet. You know I would have!"

Freddie just looks away, and Sam says, "So how did you get through it?"

"I found out that Spencer had some. His ex girlfriend used to take them and he still had them at his house. I snuck in and inhaled them and I felt better." Freddie leans back and sighs. "So, I just lived off of the bottle until it ran out."

"And then?" Sam demands. She knew this was incrediably sensitive to him but at this moment she was too concerned.

Freddie leans back. "I ran out at about...the beginning of April? April 2nd, I think? So, it got pretty bad again but suicide hardly crossed my mind. But...remember what happened on April 9th?"

Was he joking? Of course she did. That day changed her life, and his as well. "That was the lock-in." She says warily.

"Right. So, for the next few days, depression was the last thing on my mind. And then I found you..."

"...at Troubled Waters." Sam felt furious with herself. "You should have told me. I wouldn't have been so worried about my own mental health, then."

"Yes, you would have." Freddie chuckles. "But don't you get it? That's the weird thing. Ever since we've been together, I haven't been a slave to the pills. It felt like it was always nighttime beforehand. But now it's like...brighter..."

_In some unknown location, a girl with blonde streaks in her dark hair is pressing her palms to her mouth to block out her "AWWWWWWW"_

"So...you're okay now?" Sam asks him.

Freddie gently takes her by her hand. "Of course."

"I would die if something happened to you." Sam says under her breath.

Freddie's eyebrow arches. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Sam turns away.

"No, I wanna hear it." Freddie says. "It's...things like that. It makes it, you know..."

"I said I would _die_ if something happened to you!" Sam says, loudly. She goes silent.

Freddie drives with one hand and puts the other around Sam's shoulders. "Same goes to you, if you think about it. I got over the depression once I was with you."

Sam hated all of the gushy emotion, so she stifles it by covering her mouth with her palm.

"Just...tell me if you ever feel like that again." Sam mutters.

Freddie pulls into Bushwell Plaza. "Don't worry..." Freddie murmurs. "If we keep going like this...I don't think I will."

"Trust me, we'll work." Sam is already getting out of the car, as if that will clear the mushyness up. As if. She walks into the freezing air, and calls, "Come on. It's freezing."

Freddie slides out of the car and joins her. Sam lets out a breath, and she sees the whisps of ice. "Look, my breath is frozen." Sam says. She breathes out again.

"Heh heh." Freddie chuckles. He must think it's so innocent of her, Sam thinks bitterly. Oh, wow... What did he know? He just confessed everything... But she hardly said the real truth...

Aren't couples supposed to trust each other? Sam trusts Freddie with her life. So why is she so neglectant to say the truth?

"Come on, sit down." Freddie sits on top of his car, and Sam joins him.

"Let's hurry." Sam mutters. "It's freezing."

"Want my hoodie?" Freddie offers.

_God yes._ "Nah, it's fine." Sam shrugs off the offer.

"Just take it." Freddie says. "You know you want to."

"You know me so well." Sam says, throwing it on. God, she loved it. She wraps her arms around him. "So, you promise you aren't depressed anymore?"

"Everyone has days like that. Once in a long while. Other than that, no." He answers.

Sam thinks for a moment, and then says, "C'mon, let's go inside. I got to wash this fake blood off."

"It's a good look for you." Freddie snickers.

"Pfft." Sam chuckles. "And then afterwards, I have to eat this candy."

"Why don't you save it?" Freddie suggests. "Then you get to enjoy it more."

"I always eat all my candy on the first night." Sam says, holding Freddie's hand as they walk into Bushwell Plaza. "Don't you remember last year?"

"Yeah, I remember last year." Freddie narrows his eyes. "You ate your entire sack of candy, then half of mine and Carly's, overdosed, blacked out for a few minutes, woke up, vomited, then fell asleep in my bed."

"Even then I had a thing for your bed." Sam says seductively.

Freddie turns away, hiding his smile.

"You're doing it again." She says.

"Doing what?" He asks innocently.

"Your smirk."

"Well, so what?" Freddie says. "You have one too. Everyone has one. Now come on." Freddie pulls on Sam's sleeve and they go into the elevator.

"You're so cute." Sam murmurs right before the elevator door closes.


	16. Chapter 16: Jealous, eh?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Luden's cough drop company. But if I did, I would make a ten foot deep swimming pool, just filled with those cough drops. That's how delicious they are. If you never had them, then go out and buy yourself some. You will not be sorry.**

_16.) Jealous, eh? (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie was eating the most amazing thing in the entire world.

That's right.

Cherry Luden's cough drops.

Sam and him were just feasting on them, one after one after one.

"I would marry these." Sam murmurs, pressing one that was still wrapped against her face.

"Oh, so you wouldn't marry me?" Freddie jokes.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam shoves him gently. "C'mon, we better get to school."

"Miss Puckett actually worrying about being to school on time?" Freddie snickers, only to earn himself another shove. "No, you're right. The new quarter's starting, so we should get going."

Freddie drives Sam to school, and she is still eating the coughdrops. "Have you ever tried their berry ones?" She mumbles as she pops another one in her mouth. "They suck."

"Yeah, true." Freddie says. "Don't eat all of them at once."

"Don't tell me what to do." Sam growls back.

Freddie leaves it at that.

They arrive at school, and Sam says, "Oh shit. I forgot that my Psych class dropped. They're transfurring me into your Study Hall."

"Good, then we have another class together." Freddie smiles sweetly.

"I know, but I loved Psych class..." Sam half-whines.

Freddie walks into school. Sam's hands are too preoccupied with the bag of cough drops so they couldn't hold hands. Freddie walks into his first period study hall with Sam trailing behind.

"Who teaches this class?"

"Mrs. Briggs."

Sam groaned loudly. "What? We haven't had her since we were freshmen."

"I know, bummer, huh?" Freddie agrees, blinking sympathetically at her. "Ah well. Just don't cross her path and you should be good."

"You know she still hates me." Sam folds her arms over her chest.

"Just stay silent and maybe she won't bother you." Freddie tells her.

"Yeah, I doubt it." Sam mutters as they walk into Study Hall. Almost immediately, they are greeted by Ms. Briggs.

"Oh, Samantha Puckett." The ginger teacher smiles. "I must say, it has been a pleasant three years that I have not had to deal with you."

"Right back at you." Sam growls as she walks past.

Freddie and Sam go to sit together, but Ms. Briggs snaps, "No. Puckett, you sit up here."

"No way!" Sam spits at her. "I want to sit with Freddie."

"Oh, that's right." The teacher's eyes lighten. "I heard you two were together."

Freddie and Sam exchange glances.

"You two certainly have grown up and required...different tastes." Ms. Briggs almost looks disgusted as her flitting gaze switches from the brunette to the blonde. Freddie could understand her confusion. Aah. How far they've grown from tiny freshmen.

"That's right." Freddie says, swiftly gripping Sam's waist and pulling her in for a kiss. The two smile as they do so, yet again proving their couplehood to critics.

Ms. Briggs makes a disgusted sound, similar to how Ms. Benson does. "No public displays of affection in my classroom!" She hisses. "Now, Puckett! Up here!"

"I guess I'm going up there." Sam rolls her eyes and kisses Freddie's cheek. "Bye, baby."

"Bye, Princess." Freddie smiles back as Sam takes her stuff and sits in the front of the room. Ms. Briggs finishes making near-vomiting noises and composes herself. Right as the bell rings, a girl struggles to rush in.

"I'm sorry!" She gasps. "This is my first day. I couldn't find the room!"

"No excuses!" Ms. Briggs screams at her. "You're tardy. What's your name?"

"Allie Miller." The girl replies, stroking her brown hair behind her ear. "Where do I sit?"

"Next to Benson." Ms. Briggs says, not looking up as she schedules Allie for a detention. "Now move it!"

Allie quickly assembles to her seat next to Freddie. He doesn't even look up from his work as she sits down next to him. "Hi. I'm new here."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Freddie." Freddie says in a friendly way, dipping his head her way.

He feels his phone vibrate and he checks the text.

_**Sam: **__Meep._

Freddie chuckles and replies with:

_**Freddie:**__ Yes. Meep. Now do your homework young lady._

She responds with:

_**Sam:**__ Aw, u sound liek the carring mum i neva had._

Allie looks at him and says, "Hey, so can you tell me what this school is like?"

Freddie says, "It's just like any old highschool. You'll fit in fine."

Allie suddenly stops and says, "Wait, aren't you Freddie from iCarly?"

He smiles. "Yep. That's me." He continues to do his math homework.

"That's really cool. I love iCarly." The girl flashes him a smile that, for some reason, actually makes him a bit uncomfortable. Something about that smile is too familiar.

Kind of like Sam's _I-Want-To-Get-Laid_ smirk...

He feels his phone vibrate again. He reads the text:

_**Sam: **__Who tht gurl?_

He responds with:

_**Freddie:**__ Oh, she's new to the school. She's just asking me about iCarly and what Ridgeway is like._

_**Sam: **__Mmmmmmmmmmmkay._

Freddie continues to work. Allie says, "So, what's it like working on iCarly? I'm kinda interested in tech, but I'm no so good..."

"Oh, you are?" Freddie's mood always seems to brighten when he meets someone who likes tech as well. "That's really cool. We have an AV club here"

"Ooh, I just might have to join that." She gives him another bright smile.

Even from across the room, Freddie can see Sam's hand tighten around the desk.

Class ends, and Allie says to him, "Okay, I'll see you around. We _have _to talk again, okay."

"Uhm, sure." Freddie hardly heard her because he's now heading towards Sam. She's putting her stuff away, and she looks up at him.

"Come on, let's go." Sam mutters, walking out the door.

"What's wrong?" Freddie asks her once they're in the hallway.

"Well, you and that Allie girl were getting pretty comfortable..."

"What? We were just talking about tech stuff and iCarly." Freddie tells Sam. "Nothing more, I promise."

Sam looks unsure.

"You don't have to worry." Freddie puts a hand on Sam's shoulder. He remembers how, right before they got together, he tried doing that to her at the mental hospital and all she said was "Off". He says, "Come on. As if I would ever cheat on you."

It was true. Freddie would never cheat on Sam. Ever. He knew it. Their relationship wasn't a test, so why cheat?

Sam blinks, then says. "Of course. Come on, we'll be late to 2nd period."

Freddie smiles and puts his arm around Sam as they walk away. He glances over his shoulder and sees that Allie girl eagerly whispering to her friends.

He didn't understand. He wasn't attracted to Allie. He was in a relationship for months now. But why is he fearing that something is amiss? And why was Sam so jealous over such a brief encounter?

As they walk into Creative Writing, he told himself to get over it. He was nothing, absolutely nothing, to worry about. At all.


	17. Chapter 17: TrashTalkers

_17.) Trash-Talkers (Sam's POV)_

Sam focuses on the music blaring into her head. Freddie glances over at her and says something to her. Sam couldn't hear him, but the way his lips were moving made her believe he was saying something along the lines of: "Maybe you should turn it down?"

Heh. He's not the boss of her.

They were walking down the hallways of Ridgeway. She pulls her headphones out and he says, "Well, see you 5th period."

"Bye." Sam heads to her Biology class. She thinks nothing of it as she passes that Allie girl. Oh great. They're both in the same Biology class.

Still, she trusts Freddie. She has it all down. She's fine.

But that's not the vibe she's getting now. She watches as Allie, weighing 110 pounds at most and having really pretty dark hair, pulls her friends aside. This goes on for the entire period. The three just whisper among themselves, and then glance at Sam.

This ain't going down without a fight.

After the bell rings, Sam just stalks up to the three girls. She was pretty sure their names were Andrea and...she didn't know who the other one was.

"Something wrong, girls?" Sam half-growls, half-says to them.

Allie blinks her large green eyes. "No, why do you think something is wrong?"

"Because you spent the entire period staring at me. So talk. Now." Sam hisses. She knew she was being harsh, but...well, there end lies the perspective.

"You're still dating Freddie Benson, right?" Andrea says, narrowing her dark eyes.

"Daaaaamn right." Sam says back, her gaze flicking over to Allie.

Allie just rolls her eyes.

"You can chase all you want." Sam sneers at her. "You aren't going to win this. And you know it!"

She stalks away, knowing fully well that she won the battle here. But she still feels uneasy. She better find Freddie now.

She sees him chatting casually with Brad and Gibby. Sam hurries up to him and nudges his shoulder. "Can I talk to you?"

"Hey Sam." Brad greets her warmly.

"Hey Brad. Freddie, can we please talk?" Sam pulls Freddie aside until they were out of earshot.

"What's up?" Freddie asks her.

"Okay, so that Allie girl and her friends were talking about me all period!" Sam snaps. "They kept looking over at me and it was literally one of the most annoying things I ever had to go through!"

"What were they talking about, exactly?" Freddie asks.

"I don't know, I can't hear from across the room!" Sam hisses, shoving Freddie hard.

"Okay, okay." Freddie shrugs Sam off. "Even if they were talking about you-"

"And they were." Sam interrupts.

"_Even _if they were." Freddie continues. "Who cares?"

Sam stares at him. "You wouldn't care if three bitches were just talking about you so blankly obvious?"

"Nope." Freddie responds. "And neither should you."

"Look, I've _never_ cared what people thought of me." Sam declares. "Never. But when they start talking about you-and you know they were talking about me and you-then that gets different."

Freddie's cheeks turn slightly redder, and he stares and stares and stares at Sam, the grin on his face getting wider and wider.

"What?" Sam demands.

"...You..." Freddie struggles to remain serious. "...You jelly?"

Sam would never hurt Freddie, of course, but the thought of giving him a royal fizzbin crossed her mind. Several times. She just decided that bitch-slapping him would be enough.

"Ow!" Freddie recoils at the hit. "Was that necessary?"

"I am not jealous!" Sam hisses. "No, no, no! I am not!"

"It's okay to be." Freddie says, cupping his cheek.

"I'm just pissed that those girls dared talk about me!" Sam snaps. "I could beat them to death! You know that!"

"Oh God, you're right." Freddie's eyes widen. "Now I have to strip-search you before we go to school, because you'll try to sneak your nunchuks in." He leans against the wall, looking her up and down. "Well, strip-searching wouldn't be so bad..."

Sam glares at him. "Enough of that. I'm still ticked."

"Look," Freddie says softly. "You know why I'm not bothered when people talk shit?"

Sam just turns away. "No one talks shit about you, anyhow."

"No," Freddie chuckles. "That's not true."

Sam crosses her arms over her chest. "Enlighten me."

"A lot of people at the AV club talk crap about me for dating you." He tells her. "Says that you can beat me up and things like that."

"Well, now I have to kill Allie _and_ them." Sam says simply.

"But seriously," Freddie says. "It doesn't bother me, because what the hell do they know? I have everything I need, don't I? I have you, I have a good life...it doesn't matter what they say about how it is imperfect." He shrugs. "It...seems pretty good to me. Not perfect, but decent."

"Sap," Sam mutters under her breath. She raises her voice as she says, "You have a point. But that bitch wants you. And that pisses me off. You said she watches iCarly. She knows we're together."

"Even if she does, who cares?" Freddie says. "I'm with you. I'm not gonna break up with you for someone else. I'm not gonna break up with you, period." He lowers his eyes. "So why be bothered?"

Sam looks away, and is silent for a moment. Finally, she says, "I guess you're right."

"I know I am." Freddie smirks and grips Sam's hand. "Come on. We're late for class as it is."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam walks with him. "Oh, and just so you know... Your AV friends are right."

"How so?" Freddie raises his eyebrows.

"I can beat you in any fight, ever." Sam grins.

"That's what you think." Freddie snickers.

"That a challenge?" Sam's eyes widen with sarcastic disbelief.

"Oh, I don't know..." He blinks with equal sarcastic innocence.

"You're gonna pay for that." Sam threatens playfully.

"We'll see." Freddie chuckles.

_He can't beat me in a fight, can he?_ Sam wonders to herself.

No.

Of course not.

He can't.

He just can't.


	18. Chapter 18: AV Club Drama

_18.) AV Club Drama (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie laughs as Sam continues to look up pictures on his computer. She has already typed in several different dog breeds, then she says to Freddie, "These are my favorite."

"Of course." Freddie snickers. "Those are pit bulls."

"They're so cute." Sam puts her chin on her palms and blinks at the pictures. "I want one."

"It would maul us to death." Freddie says bluntly.

"Maybe just you." Sam smirks.

Freddie rolls his eyes

"Can you get me one?" Sam asks+

"No." Freddie says as quickly as possible

"Please?" Sam begs

"No, you'll train it to hurt people." Freddie crosses his arms over his chest.

"Maaaybe." Sam grins. "I'm deadly enough as it is. I don't think having one more deadly object would matter."

"Come on, this is stupid." Freddie shuts the laptop with the googled images of dogs.

"Then what do you want to do?" Sam asks.

It's almost a little confusing that she even asks. "Oh, doesn't matter. Maybe something like this?" He hooks two fingers into the "v" of her shirt and pulls her closer to kiss her.

Her hands go to his shoulders, and while it would be _traditional_ and _gentlemenlike _to put his hands to her waist…

He'll skip it for now.

As always, it turns into a full-scale makeout. Freddie is unaware of the time, but he knows he'll have to leave for his meeting soon. But, not so soon that he couldn't sneak some fun in.

Sadly, before anything could truly happen, his alarm goes off. He grips his phone and pulls away from Sam. "I have to go."

"So soon?" She blinks her blue eyes very innocently and gently fiddles with the buttons of his polo.

_Tease, _He thinks. He wants to take her offer, but this was a very crucial meeting. He looks at her, and then at his phone, then at her, then at his phone.

"This is really important," Freddie mumbles. "Can we have some fun later tonight?"

Sam rolls her eyes, looking annoyed that he was leaving. "Yeah, yeah. I'll think about it."

"Love you," He says, sitting up and leaning down, kissing Sam gently.

"Love you too." She says, smiling. "Hurry back."

Freddie leaves her house, and starts driving towards Ridgeway. He adjusts the polo he's wearing, and he wishes they could continue what they started when he got home. No matter.

He turns on his radio, and pages through the stations. The song _Schizophrenia_ by _Brokencyde _comes on, and his eyes widen. Wow. This is music?

He arrives at Ridgeway, and is immediately greeted by a flock of his AV friends. "Freddie! You're late!"

"Only by a bit." Freddie replies, walking into the building. He looks around for Brad, and doesn't see him.

"Your girlfriend's habits are rubbing off on you." One of them teases. "You were never late before."

"Nooope, I wasn't." Freddie smirks as he turns to his friends. "But, heh, why do you think I'm late all the time? What do you think we've been doing?"

That usually shuts them up.

They walk into the AV room, and Freddie finds Brad. "Hey!" He smiles as he greets his friend.

"Hi, Freddie." Brad says as he programs his computer. "With Sam?"

"Yeah." Freddie sits in front of one of the computers and loads up the program. He looks at his watch. "What did I miss?"

"Not much. We got a new member here. That's pretty much it." Brad shrugs his shoulders.

"Who?" Freddie asks.

"Some girl named Allie."

Oh.

Freddie jerks his head around and sees Allie from across the room. She was stroking her dark hair to one side, her green eyes fixed on something other than him. For some reason, he got the impression that she was avoiding him.

This reminds him of something he couldn't put his finger on. It's as if this is coming from an outer voice. He can't…

They start the official meeting, but all Freddie can process is Allie's eyes on him. Then when he looked back, she'd flit them away.

He didn't get it. No, he did understand her frustration. But the weird feeling he was getting was something that he couldn't explain. It's not like he liked Allie or anything. It's just that… Perhaps he was in her shoes once? He has always been crushing on someone, fearing that they never liked them back, or in the Carly crush case, was constantly assured that there was no chance.

He remembers all of the rejection he has been given, and then thinks: _I can't do much for this girl… But I can do something no one else did for me._

That sounds like a plan.

Somewhere in the middle of the meeting, Freddie finally approaches Allie. She looks up at him.

"Hey." He begins awkwardly.

"Hi." She responds.

Something inside of him is digging, ripping. Somewhere there is some kind of other voice, screaming out against everything. For some reason he can feel dark eyes, unlike any he's ever seen, trained on him, insulting him, telling him that he's dead to her…

"I'm sorry." He blurts out.

"Sorry?" She echoes. "For what?"

"For…this whole situation." He says, almost downcast. "It wasn't your fault, you know?"

"…c'mere." Allie gestures him forward and they go into the hallway. He follows her and once she clicks the door shut, they were all alone.

"I just feel as if…maybe Sam was a bit harsh on you." Freddie admits. "I mean, I guess I know what it's like to have to go through that. You know?"

"I…really appreciate you saying that to me." She brims at him. "Thank you."

"Of course, of course." Freddie was starting to feel sick now. That inner voice is screaming now. He wants to press his hands against his ears and start screaming too. He grips the last bit of sanity he has left, and dips his head and steps away. He doesn't even head back to the room. He slips out the back door, and sees the exact spot that Sam kissed him at the lock-in.

The screaming goes silent.

He lingers there for a moment, gently bending down and admiring the place. Even without the memory, it's always been such a quiet spot. A place to go when you just need to escape the sounds of the school for a moment. To escape the drama, the nuisance, the constant struggle. He begins to realize that this is what Sam did. She just tried to escape for a bit, escape him and Carly's pestering about Brad.

Only, he followed her.

He steps back and leaves the place. He goes into his car and drives back to Sam's. It's not far from Ridgeway. Once he was there, he slid inside and found Sam on the couch. She looks up at him.

"You're here early." She says. "Something happen?"

"Well…" He sits beside her. She sits up herself. "Allie joined the AV club."

Sam's eyes spark in fury, and her jaw opens to say something, but Freddie quickly intervines.

"Before you plot to kill her, I want to tell you something. I told Allie that it's alright. Look, no matter what, she didn't do anything wrong. And she'll back off from now on. I know it." He stops.

"…So, I can't kill her?" Sam questions.

"No, no. Just leave her alone, and she'll leave you alone." Freddie promises. "Please, just try?"

Sam looked annoyed. Oh, how she would love to go over and behead Allie. Freddie could just tell by the look of her.

"Please." Freddie says. "She won't bother us again. You have to believe me."

Sam looks away. "Whatever. But if she tries anything—"

"She won't." Freddie assures.

_"If she does."_ Sam snaps. "I get dibs. Deal?"

Freddie studies her tense, irritated form, and suddenly feels a rush of affection. "Of course, baby."

Sam appears to be distracting herself from her anger. She begins fiddling with the strings of her hoodie while watching the tv she had on before he walked in. Freddie feels a whole new appreciation for his "little girlfriend" (referencing from when she called herself that when she was at Troubled Waters) now.

Oh, how much she longed to go out and get her revenge. Sam was obviously a girl, which means that she is 150% more likely to be vicious when jealous. That's just how it was. Combine that with Sam's already deadly state of mind, and they might as well be nailing the coffin right now.

All it took was Freddie to say, "Leave her alone" and she obeyed. Sam wouldn't even give her a warning. Of course, that warning would include two royal fizzbins and perhaps some missing fingers, but that's just it then.

Sam just did the unthinkable. She listened to Freddie.

"I love you so much." Freddie nuzzles into her neck.

"Yeah, yeah. I love me too." Sam snickers, putting an arm around him and pulling him closer.

Freddie finds himself toying with the strings of her hoodie as well. "I'm sorry about all of this, you know. But I promise, things'll get better."

"Whatever you say." Sam rolls her eyes.

"Hey, hey." Freddie gently lifts her chin up with his hand so their eyes were level. "Everything will be okay. As if I would leave you for anyone."

"No one?" Sam mutters.

"Nooooooo one." Freddie almost teases, gently toying with her blonde hair now. "I love you to pieces, girl. You know that."

Sam buries her face in his shoulder, her way of hiding her blush. But Freddie has long discovered the method and begins to try and see her face. "C'mon, let me see it." He says as he shifts away.

Sam buries her face in her hands now. "No!"

"Yeeeeess." Freddie pins her down and tries pulling her hands away, but she just shoves him aside. He gets the thought of proving to her now that he is indeed stronger, but he decides to hold it off again. Better to wait for a more ceremonial time, no?

Sam removes her hands and just kisses him instead. _A clever, yet much more convient way to block your face, eh? _Freddie thinks to himself, enjoying every second of it.

He pulls away for a second to whisper, "Wanna go back to where we left off?"

He doesn't even wait for a response. He drags her back down and takes control of the situation. Why? Because it'd be too _traditional_ and _gentlemenlike_ to do anything else.


	19. Chapter 19: Bacon

_19.) Bacon (Sam's POV)_

"How are you feeling?" Sam asks, almost awkwardly, as she runs her fingers delicately over Freddie's bruised eye.

"Just perfect." He says, the sarcasm dripping off his voice.

"I didn't think that guy would really tackle you over the new Pearphone." Sam says guiltily.

"That was a girl. And she did." Freddie says drily. "Good news is, my head wound finally stopped bleeding."

"Look, I didn't think that would happen." Sam says.

"We're never going Black Friday shopping again." Freddie growls, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Come on. It wasn't that bad…" Sam trails off.

"She nearly broke my arm!" Freddie wails.

"Then you should have run faster!" Sam spits out.

Freddie just rolls his eyes and sits back. "Ow."

"You'll be fine." Sam smiles at him, gently brushing a damp strand of dark hair out of his forehead. When it's not in its usual spiked style, it just hangs down, uncared for. "Wanna head to my place?"

Freddie grins back. "If I can _walk_."

"Come on, then. You drive." Sam says, helping Freddie to his feet. "Like I said before, you know I have a thing for guys covered in blood."

Freddie rolls his eyes. "I'm sure you also have a thing for guys that are scrambling underneath a man-girl person."

They begin to drive to Sam's house. "I'm pretty sure my mom isn't home." Sam says, yawning. "Probably Black Friday shopped the whole day. I wouldn't be surprised if she's dead or in prison."

"My guess is prison." Freddie says honestly.

"Where's your mom been?" Sam asks.

"Probably at the hospital. I'm sure there's more victims in need of help around this time." Freddie says.

"I might have something for your…many injuries." Sam chuckles. "All you've used was ibiprophen."

"Well, ibiprophen is some legit stuff…" Freddie says defensively.

They get to Sam's house. They go inside, and Sam says, "I'll go look for a bandage or something."

"Mkay. Wait, I forgot my phone in the car. Be right back." Freddie disappears outside the door.

Sam searches through the bare cupboards. At least they weren't as bare as they used to be. Her fingers enclose around a roll of the white stuff and she hears a voice from outside the window. "Sam."

"What?" She stands up and looks outside. Freddie is outside in her backyard, standing rigid as he stares at something in the shadows. It was around 9 o'clock P.M., and Sam couldn't see exactly what he was staring at.

"Sam." He says again, quietly.

"Wait, I'm coming." Sam was about to go to the back door.

"No, no, stay inside." Freddie says, his voice beginning to crack a bit. "Just call the cops."

Sam's heart lurches as she imagines X-Rated or Ultraviolet waiting for him, or even Severa. "Hang on! I'm coming!" She slides out the door, a knife and her nunchuks in hand. She couldn't kill any of her fellow friends. She'd have to find a way to get Freddie out of their safely.

Within seconds he realizes that it's none of the above. Sam can hear a snarling sound in the bushes. She feels Freddie grip her arms and pull her closer to him, trying to protect her from the unknown creature. Sam grips her nunchuks. _Should have brought the stun ray._

Suddenly, time stands still as whatever is in the dark lunges at them. Freddie tries to pull her away so they can both run, but Sam takes the nunchuks and swings them. She sees that it's a dog, and nunchuks smack right across its face. The force of it causes the dog to collapse. I guess if she can knock a truck driver out with a carton of milk, she could take down a dog with an actual weapon.

"Let's get inside! There could be more!" Freddie calls.

"No, wait. Look!" Sam runs her hands over the dog's whiskered muzzle. "I think it's a pit bull."

"Which means if there's more, we _will_ die." Freddie snaps. "Sam, let's _go._"

Sam stares back at the fallen pit bull. "But—"

Freddie grips Sam's shoulders and pulls her inside. "Come on!" She protests. "It's just a dog."

"I'm not gunna let you die over a stupid dog." Freddie snaps. "Now move it!"

Sam stalks inside, looking annoyed. "So what are we supposed to do when it wakes up?"

"Call animal control." Freddie picks up his phone and calls the number.

Sam folds her arms over her chest and glares off into space.

After he calls the animal control, he turns to Sam with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, babe. I don't want some deadly animal outside your house."

"It. Is. Just. A. Dog." Sam growls.

"Tell you what. Maybe I'll get you a puppy for Christmas. But a nice puppy. Like a yorkie or something." Freddie says with a smile.

"What fun would a yorkie be?" Sam wails.

"Don't worry. My mom used to have a yorkie. They're cute." Freddie says.

Animal control knocks on her door. Sam stands up and opens the door. "Where is the dog?" A woman asks.

"In the back." Freddie answers for Sam when Sam doesn't say a word. "Here, I'll show you."

Freddie leads the two into the back, and Sam trails behind. He gestures towards the fallen, gray-black pit bull. "Here it is."

"Are you going to kill him?" Sam half-wails.

"Well, if he's hostile, yes." The other person, a man, replies. Sam whips around and fixes a furious look on Freddie, and Freddie looks away. The man eyes Freddie's disheveled appearance. "Did he attack you?"

"No, it's from Black Friday shopping." Freddie says with embarrassment.

"…were you the kid that the guy tackled?" The woman asks with a chuckle.

"It was a girl!" Freddie wails until he realizes that it just made the situation worse.

They leave with the dog, and Sam and Freddie go back inside. Sam buries her head in her hands. "They're going to kill him."

"You don't know that." Freddie says, looking uncomfortable.

Sam just ignores him and stares out the window. Freddie gently tries to calm her down, gently playing with the blonde curls. Sam feels her eyes droop as she imagines the poor dog being locked into a cage, letting out tiny whimpers—

"Did you hear that?" Freddie asks, his eyebrows rising.

Sam opens her eyes, and realizes that the whimpering was not her imagination. Before Freddie could stop her, she leaps out the backdoor and goes out into the freezing air. She goes into the shadows, with Freddie calling after her.

"Sam, come on!" He calls. "There could be more!"

Once Sam is in the dark, she realizes he is right. She sees an old wheelbarrow, covered with weeds and dirt, and she sees the glassy eyes staring at her. She holds out her hand.

Freddie storms behind her and collapses behind her. "Sam, what are—" He stops when he sees it too.

"I think the other dog was a she." Sam says softly. She makes a kissing noise. "Here, puppy. Puppy, puppy, puppy."

Sam watches as the brown-splotched puppy scampers out of the wheelbarrow. Sam smiles, but then turns on Freddie. "You dare try and call Animal Control—"

"No, no." Freddie says softly. "It's just a puppy. We could take it to an animal shelter."

Sam looks annoyed. "I'm gonna keep it."

"Sam! You're hardly capable of taking care of Frothy. And this is a pit bull puppy. Come on!"

Sam picks up the puppy. He must be only one or two months old. She stuffs him into her coat. "I'm keeping him."

"Sam!" Freddie protests.

"Mine." Sam replies without looking back. She goes inside and sets the trembling puppy down. She strokes his head until Freddie walks in.

"Your mom won't care?" Freddie blinks.

"As long as I can keep him out of her way." Sam says. She pets the brown, black, and white dappled puppy. "I'm gonna name him Bacon."

"Bacon," Freddie echoes. "You're kidding me."

"Nope." Sam replies. "I used to have a fish named Bacon. So it's after him."

Freddie stares at the puppy. "You are crazy."

"I know."


	20. Chapter 20: Someone Save Me

_20.) Someone Save Me (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie watches as the movie ends, and the credits begin to roll. He looks down at Sam whose head was lying in his lap, and was about to say, "What should we do now?"

But she was fast asleep. Her blonde curls were splayed everywhere, all over the place, and she looked peaceful. It's a wonder what sleep can do to a person.

Sure, Sam's been through a lot. She was neglected as a child. Which may be the reason why she's so strong now, because she needed to be. So in a way, she always had the will to survive.

But now that's triggering some unhappy memories. Sure, not everyone has the will to survive. Including him…

_Flashback:_

_ It was one of those days._

_ Freddie knows that everyone has their "low" days. Who didn't? Young or old, black or white, girl or boy, everyone had days when they were ready to just curl up and die._

_ When others had those days, they take care of themselves, usually. Maybe eat some comfort food to brighten their mood. Or listen to cheerful music. Sometimes they just brought it down on themselves, listening to depressing music or just think about how stupid and awful they are._

_ Freddie does something else. Not something rare, but something else._

_ He might as well try again. He calls up his "dealer" again._

_ "You have to have more." He rasps into the phone. "Even one at the moment will save my life."_

_ "Look, Benson, I told you the first time. I don't get them for free anymore. You have to go and buy them yourself."_

_ "But they're over a hundred dollars!"_

_ "Well, if your so-called depression is that bad, then it should be worth it!" And the guy on the other line hangs up._

_ Freddie punches the wall without mercy, letting his phone falls."Fuck!" He screams loudly. Not like anyone's going to hear him. Tortured tears force their way out of Freddie's eyes. He pulls his trembling hand back and sees the blood on his knuckles. Then it gives him the sickening idea._

_ "No one's gonna miss me anyways," He says wickedly. He remembers his personal instructions: Think of all the souls who will miss you. Well. His mother. Carly, maybe. Sam, on a good day. Spencer. Gibby, maybe. That was it._

_ "The list is dwindling," He almost chuckles. A junior in high school, his life ahead of him, and he can't think of a single person really worth living for. Family and friends, sure, but they had others. Others._

_ He stands up stiffly and makes his way to the kitchen. Oh, how his mom leaves such a nice collection of knives, just for him. She had no idea; she is the _last_ person who is allowed to know. He searches through the blades until he finds an almost dainty looking one. _

_ He goes to his own bedroom and gazes at the technology around him. Almost comforting. But not enough._

_ The first cut hurts at first. It's always the first three that you had to get through. Quickly enough he gets through the agony, and now it's becoming some kind of sick pleasure. _

_ He made four on one arm, and he moved to the next. He becomes a bit worried when he sees that he may have cut too deep, but he neglects it. At that moment, he was in that zone where he simply wanted to die. So he made more and more cuts, letting the blood run down his arm and splatter onto the floor. He is just finishing the eighth cut when he hears someone knock on the door. He freezes in place._

_ "Freddie?" Oh God, it was Sam. "You home?"_

Well, there's no putting it off,_ He thinks to himself. "Go away!" He calls roughly._

_ "Freddie?" Sam shakes the door. "Come on, just open it!"_

_ Freddie looks up and sees himself in the mirror. He doesn't see himself. He sees some other guy, someone worse off than him, who's forearms are completely coated in crimson. He drops the knife and rushes to his bathroom._

_ "Freddie, don't make me break your lock!" Sam hisses from outside the door._

_ Freddie scrambles in his mother's first aid kit and takes out the white fluffy cotton roll. He rolls out a huge strip and rips it off with his teeth. He wraps it around his left wrist, then takes another strip and wraps it around the other. He's cut himself before, but this has to be the worst time. He could now feel the full potency of his cuts and he grits his teeth to keep him from screaming. The only other time that was really dangerous was when he nearly overdosed on ibiprophen, and that was only two days ago. The one thing that saved him was his mother coming home._

_ Almost like clockwork, he hears a loud crack, and he knows that Sam must have broken his lock. He shuffles on a jacket to hide the bandages, and just stands there, feeling the blood seep through the thick cotton._

_ Sam appears at his doorway. "Dude! Why wouldn't you open the door?"_

_ Freddie opens his mouth to respond, but a thin, tortured sound comes out, and he clears his throat to hide it. "I'm sorry." He says rustily. "I-I was doing something."_

_ Sam looks at him weirdly. "Well, next time, answer." Sam walks right past him. Freddie glances downward, trying not to meet her eyes. He then sees it, and his heart lurches. He sees the bloodied knife, and he quickly steps on top of it to hide it._

_ Sam peers at his face. "Are you crying?"_

_ He was crying before he started cutting, and the pain wasn't really helping. "A little." He almost whispers._

_ "Well, what's wrong?" Sam crosses her arms over her chest. "Let's hear it."_

_ "Maybe I just want to cry?" Freddie rasps. "Why not?"_

_ Normally Sam would roll her eyes and say, "Man up" but she doesn't. "Okay then." She says, clearly not believing him. "Sit down, then."_

_ "I'd love to, but I'd rather not." Freddie murmurs, thinking of the knife under his shoe._

_ "Well, what do you want to do then?" Sam asks, sitting on his bed. She clearly wasn't leaving. Sam hardly ever stays at his house. His self-conscious curses Sam, because she clearly knows something is wrong?_

_ "I…" Freddie's voice trails off. The blonde meant well, but Freddie just wants her to leave so he can finish the job._

_ "Can you tell me why you were crying?" Sam asks._

_ "I'd rather not." He says quietly._

_ "You know, I might make your life hell, but I'm not going to kick you while you're down." She says._

_ "Yes you will." Freddie snaps back. "That's all you do."_

_ "You really think that?" Sam says, looking offended but not mad._

_ Freddie readjusts himself and says, "Please. Just leave."_

_ Sam studies his stiff form, his teary eyes, and his arms which were throbbing like hell. She looks up at his face and says, "No."_

_ For a while the two stay, just sizing each other up. Maybe Freddie could get away with running out the door. She'd see the knife though…_

_ Sam glances away for a moment, then closes her eyes and says, "So, you really don't trust me?"_

_ In the one second that she looked away, Freddie bends down and swipes the knife off the ground and stuffs it into his pocket. He swallows and steps closer to her, and sits down on the bed next to her. "It's not like that." He says weakly. He knows he lost a lot of blood, but it might have stopped by now. "I mean, if I saw you crying, you'd never tell me."_

_ "You don't know that…" Sam's voice trails off._

_ "Lies." Freddie manages to suppress a smile. "But seriously. It's nothing, okay?"_

_ "I don't believe you." Sam rolls her eyes. "I'll find out eventually. I always do."_

_ Freddie pats Sam's back. "Sure." He looks outside, at the nighttime sky. At least it wasn't bitterly cold anymore. What month was it? April? Yes, April. Almost May._

_ "You have nothing to worry about." Freddie says to Sam. Why drag her into this mess? "I promise."_

_ "Yeah, but I'm still not leaving." She says with a smile._

_ "So be it, Puckett." Freddie snickers. He then realizes that Sam has done the impossible. He was going to possibly kill himself that night…but he didn't. And now, when Sam leaves later, he doesn't think he will. Not yet, at least._

_ He looks at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl in front of him, and he knows he won't. Without warning he wraps her into a hug, ignoring the pain that slices through his wrists. _

_ "Thanks." He murmurs, too quiet for her to hear._

(Freddie's POV)

Freddie gently looks down at Sam, watching her sleep. He always knew that she knew that something happened that night—something bad. He remembers his frustration that she wouldn't leave battling with his admiration that she stuck beside him during that time.

He wonders if she ever knew that he was truly going to end it all that night. She wouldn't risk it, he knows, because she didn't leave him at all that night. He gently brushes a golden curl away from her face.

"You saved my life." He whispers, knowing she'd never hear him. "Thank you, Puckett."


	21. Chapter 21: Rage

_21.) Rage (Sam's POV)_

Sam Puckett wondered about herself sometimes. Growing up with her mother, she often assumed that her life would always be living off of fast food and cough medicine. These past few years or so she began to think that maybe she did have a chance at survival. Maybe even having a good life later.

Sure, she wasn't the most responsible kid in the world, if you look at people like Carly and Freddie. But if you looked at how lenient her mother was, she might as well be a god. In hard moments, she often tries to keep her cool and get through it.

This is not one of those moments.

She takes her nunchuks, and clashes them against the glass. The little cabinet door had an unlocked handle, but Sam felt like breaking things. After she breaks through the glass, she pulls out a bottle. Then another. Then another. She's done, here.

She pops off the cap and overturns the bottle to her mouth. There are plenty of bad things in the world that Sam has been exposed to (although she hasn't tried all of them). Out of the choices of smoking and doing drugs and other things, drinking was her particular favorite.

And out of all the drinking choices, she preferred liquor, because it was about has hardcore as you can get. She polishes off one bottle without caring to try. She feels her stomach boiling but she doesn't stop. As if stopping is beneficial at this moment.

"Fuck," She mutters. "Now what?"

Her mom is probably raging at the moment, too. Who can blame her? She just hopes she doesn't OD tonight. No matter all the hell she put her through…she doesn't deserve to die over this. Not at all.

Sam stumbles out the basement door, the drunk already hazing up her eyes. God damn it. Now how was she supposed to drive? Even in her liquor haze she knew that she didn't want to die tonight, so she decides to walk. While drinking.

She thinks it's amusing to watch the sidewalk become even more twisted and she continues to drink from a new bottle. She has another one in her other hand as well. In the dark sky, she looks up and finds the stars spinning. Ooh. Pretty.

She falls over, and hits the grass. She watches as the stars spin over and over, changing into confusing shapes and patterns. She feels the fallen bottle splatter all over her shirt, seeping through. Her hand fumbles to her phone and she begins to press buttons.

_No, no. There's a rhythm._ Sam tells herself. There was no use to try and read the numbers on the phone, so she tries to remember the sound of Freddie's numbers. How does it go? She tries one sound combination, and fails. Then another. Fails again. Then another. She keeps trying until she gets it.

"Hello?" Freddie sounded extremely tired. "Sam, it's two in the morning."

"Hey." Sam chuckles. "So, you'll be pretty mad at me…"

"Why?" Freddie asks. She can hear him sitting up.

"Look, I am lying on someone's lawn, and I'm not quite sure where. Can you pick me up?" Sam asks. Well, at least it's out there.

"What? Sam, what the hell are you doing?" Freddie questions.

"Look, I'm trying to make sure I don't fall off the Earth. Would you be ever so kind and come and find me before the dogs do?" Sam begs.

"Okay, I-I'm coming. Just stay put!" Freddie orders.

"No problem." Sam murmurs, letting her phone fall from her hand and onto her shoulder.

She tries to close her eyes, but she feels just as dizzy. Still, she keeps her eyes glued shut. She opens them again and sees the swirling stars, and that pushes her over the edge. She has about three or four seconds to sit up before the liquor comes back up. She grips the grass and vomits the poison out.

There was no relief afterwards, and she still feels as awful as she did before. She focuses on one particular strand of grass, trying to keep herself from vomiting again. She digs her fingers into the ground, imagining herself falling right off the earth and into space. _That'd suck._

The headlights that fall over her burn as if they were rays of chemicals and acids. She hears the screeching of brakes, and the opening and slamming of a car door.

"Sam! What the hell are you doing?" Freddie's voice enters her mind. She can't see or hear anymore. All she can feel is her head pounding, her stomach boiling, her mouth parched despite all of the fluid she consumed. She feels Freddie shake her, trying to make her return to full-consciousness. "What happened?"

The only thing she can do is hold up the mostly empty bottle before her head falls again, and she disappears into dizzying blackness.

llllllll

Sam wish she hadn't opened her eyes. The headache that immediately hit her was a sure giveaway of a hangover. She shuts her eyes again, but it's too late now. She's awake.

She has to admit, she did go a bit overboard that night. She lifts her head weakly and sees that she's in Freddie's room, with Freddie working on some kind of techny thing.

He doesn't even turn around as he says, "Awake, Princess?"

"Unfortunately." She slurs back. Her voice is hardly recognizable.

"Well, that's good then." Freddie stands up and shrugs. Sam's waiting for him to start ranting to her about the dangers of drinking. Especially that time. She could have died out there. But whatever he says now won't sink in, she knows that for sure.

Freddie hated it when she drank. She knew that like the back of her hand. Was hasn't he started—

"Well, it's great to see that you made a full recovery since your previous indulgences. So let's give you a round of applause!" He then proceeds to clap as loud as he can.

"Ugh!" Sam presses her palms to her ears, her head pounding from the noise. "Stop it!"

"Why should I?" Freddie snaps. Oh, here comes the ranting. "You nearly killed yourself last night!"

"I drank a little bit. It isn't a big deal."

"Two full bottles of liquor."

"Look," Sam struggles to sit up. "I get what I did was wrong. Can we talk about it later?"

"We aren't finished," Freddie snarls, but he relents from the questioning. A few minutes later he brings her four ibuprofen and she inhales them all. A few hours later, the pain has gotten remarkably better, but she can still feel the hangover over her.

"Ready to talk?" Freddie asks.

"I guess." Sam manages to sit up. "Let's hear it."

"No, you answer _me_ first." Freddie growls. "You know how much I _hate_ it when you drink. And I found you in someone's fucking yard. So why?"

"Why what?" Sam spits at him.

"Why were you drinking?"

"I had a rough day, okay?" Sam mutters. "It doesn't matter."

"It sure matters when you try to drink your life away."

"Sometimes drinking helps me forget things!"

"Did it?"

Sam stops. "…no, it didn't." She admits.

"So, there was point in drinking. Except for being wasted and collapsing on someone else's lawn."

"Look, I'm sorry." Sam says through gritted teeth. "Like I said before, I had a rough day."

"And you can't tell me about it?" Freddie asks.

"Alright, fine." Sam groans and presses her forehead to her hand. "Just… My mom told me something today. Or, yesterday, I mean."

"What did she tell you?" Freddie asks gently.

"She, um, found my dad on facebook." Sam says, and pauses. She remembers the memory and now she feels the rage that caused her to drink slicing through again.

"Oh." Is all Freddie can say at first. Sam watches as his brown eyes widen and widen and his fingers grip the bed sheets. Sam knew that Freddie knew that family matters of Sam's were one of the few things that Sam hardly ever opens up about. "You don't have to go on if you don't want to."

"No, I might as well get it out." Sam coughs. "Apparently he's doing fine. Well, not like rich or anything. But he's got a stable job. Sorta. You can tell by his picture that he's still on drugs but that's irrelevant."

"But…it's not like he's doing great, you know?" Freddie tries to reason.

"Don't you get it?" Sam grips the bed sheets as well. "He left me and Melanie and my mum to fend for ourselves. We wanted to find him living in a cardboard box, not doing even a bit better than us."

Freddie was silent.

"We did so poorly at first that we had to let my aunt take custody of Melanie. At least she had enough money to send Melanie to boarding school _and_ give us some as well. But it wasn't enough. We almost didn't make it." Sam begins digging her fingernails into her palms to take out her frustration. "So, when I see that he's alive and well, you can how it manages to anger me."

Freddie was still silent, thinking. Finally he says, "Well, you know, that would be pretty bitter, wouldn't it?"

Sam nods.

"My dad's fine, too. Just fine. Where is he? About forty-five minutes away. He has a restraining order against my mom. I still see him sometimes. Well, I used to." Freddie shrugs. "I fell out of the habit of seeing him."

Sam looks at him with round eyes, nodding for him to go on.

"Look, your dad is still the deadbeat loser who left you guys sixteen years ago. There's no changing that. Actually, he's worse off than he would be if he was dead."

Sam narrows her eyes in disbelief. "Pfft. How?"

"Because he's alive. And still on drugs, like you said. God's keeping him alive so He can drag out his suffering." Freddie says, focusing on the dust particles that float in the air. "That is all."

"You think so?" Sam asks.

"Yup. That's just how it is." Freddie gently plays with one of her blonde curls. "I know it hurts, but you turned out fine without a dad. We both did."

"I think we've both had bad experiences with all of our parents." Sam says, thinking of his freakish mom, of her psycho mom, and of their dads who were next to nonexistent.

"True, true." Freddie says. He breaks away from her hair and looks straight into her eyes. "You and I, we'll do better."

Sam knew what he was suggesting. That someday they could prove to everyone else that their parents' actions never affected them. And also that they, just the two of them, could also make it in this world. Together.

Freddie holds out his pinky, blinking at her.

Sam wraps her own pinky around his and nods. "We'll do it."

Freddie leans back, smiling. "Oh, and one more thing."

"What?"

"If I catch you rage-drinking again, I'll end you."

"Pfft, sure."

"I mean it, Sam." Freddie stares at her. "Next time something like this happens, just find me, okay? We could talk it out."

"Sometimes we just need to escape our problems." Sam mutters. "Even if it takes a bottle full of poison."

"Sam, please." Freddie half-begs. "I don't want to find you _dead_ next time. Just promise me."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

Sam crosses her arms over her chest. "Whatever. You better drive over to my place quickly then. It doesn't take long to pop the seal off a bottle.

"You know I'll be there in a heartbeat." Freddie vows.

Sam holds her arms out and Freddie hugs her.

"Just like you were for me." He says under his breath, his voice not even a whisper.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Nothing." He murmurs back. "Nothing at all."


	22. Chapter 22: Only In Private

**(A/N: I'm sorry I haven't been updating so much. I've been doing through a rough time. Not exactly nursing ANY heart of mine *sigh* so again, I'm sorry.**

**So I had an awful dream last night… It inspired me to write this. I had a dream that there was a new episode of iCarly. I forgot the plot of it, but it was just an average filler episode.**

**Anyway, the subplot was that Freddie got a new girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure they broke up at the end. Anyway, she looked like twenty-one and had short (not like P!nk short, but to her shoulders) and spiky auburn/red hair. And they kissed a lot.**

**There was NO Seddie jealously at all…and it was horrible. I was so happy when I woke up. Grr. I really hope that doesn't happen.**

**So now this has to be fluffy. But I'm not good at fluffy. I'm good at angst. Like I said before, I'm as romantic as a piece of wet cardboard.**

**Expect to see a shorter-haired auburn-haired girl soon.)**

_22.) Only In Private (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie's eyes flutter open. He sees that he is in his own bed, with the soothing sound of technology around him, and the silken cartoon bed sheets underneath him. So calm. So quiet.

But he wasn't alone. He turns over and sees that Sam is entangled in his arms. Her head was resting against his chest, and she was curled up against him. Completely asleep.

He doesn't move his position. He keeps his legs entwined with hers and his arms around her smaller frame, and gently leans down and presses his ear against her neck. Listening to her pulse, her heartbeat. He gently nudges her awake. "Sam."

"Huh?" Her eyes snap open and she lifts her head up.

"No, no, shush. Stay down." Freddie murmurs. She lets her head fall and he strokes her hair.

Sam turns over and buries her face into Freddie's chest. He hears her say through the muffled cotton of his shirt, "You smell good."

"Damn straight." Freddie smirks, wrapping one arm around her.

"I love you." She murmurs against his chest.

"Love you too." He says softly, and then grins. "Oh, it's that easy these days?" He teases. "You hardly ever say it!"

"Fine, I won't say it anymore." Sam says.

"No, no." His dark eyes widen. "I like hearing you say it. I love you too, and you know that."

"Yeah, yeah, now hush." Sam presses her ear against Freddie's chest, most likely listening to his own heartbeat.

Freddie gently pulls her upward and kisses her softly. Sam wraps her arms around his neck and makes sure that there is no room in-between them. Once completely on top, Freddie presses his lips against her neck and begins to suck.

"Freddie." Sam murmurs.

As Freddie feels the arousement gather within, lower and lower and lower, he hears the sound of a car door closing. Freddie detaches himself from Sam's neck and mutters, "Fuck. My mom's home."

"Is she still gonna try to hit me with a broom?" Sam asks.

"Probably." Freddie growls. "Come on. Let's go to…"

"…Huh. Maybe the…"

"Fire escape?" Freddie suggests.

Even in the darkness Freddie can catch Sam's blush through a ray of moonlight. "Let's do it."

Sam scrambles out from under him. Freddie takes her by the hand and they walk onto the fire escape. The icy wind hits him head on, and he feels Sam press instinctively against him.

"It's freezing." Sam says, her eyes beginning to stream from the cold.

"Well, come on then, girl." Freddie says, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. She looks up at him and smiles.

"Have you grown taller?" Sam says, looking him up and down.

"Naw, you've grown shorter." Freddie teases back.

"If that was possible, that's probably what happened." Sam chuckles. She presses closer. "It's only December. It's only gonna get worse."

"I like the cold." Freddie says, gazing out at the starred sky.

"I like it too, but not completely." Sam shrugs. Freddie watches as Sam stares at the first few snow-flakes falling from the sky. She holds out her hand, and watches the snow melt on her skin. "First of the year," She murmurs.

"Freddie Benson!" Both of them flinch when Freddie's mother's voice slices through the quiet air from inside. "Where are you?"

"Mom, I kinda want to be alone right now." Freddie calls back.

"Why? Did Sam break up with you again? Finally?" Freddie's mother asks hopefully.

Sam rolls her eyes and Freddie chuckles as he says, "Nah, mom. Please, just leave me alone for now."

"But you need a tick bath!"

"Mom!" Freddie moans. "You promised you'd stop stalking my life!"

"Fine," Freddie's mother snaps. "You'll take one later!"

"My God," Freddie mutters to Sam.

Sam lays her head against Freddie's shoulder. They sit in silence for a while, just watching snow falling.

Freddie brushes the snow out of Sam's hair. Finally he says, "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

"You've said that before." Sam says. "But…we have, haven't we?"

"Just years ago we were here, sharing our first kiss." Freddie says softly.

Sam chuckles. "That was a day to remember."

"I thought it was a dream, to be honest." Freddie says.

"Same, same." Sam fiddles with her fingers, staring off into space. "It took me a while to realize…that it was just beginning."

"I think we both knew that it was the start of something beyond our comprehension." Freddie says, giving a tiny smile.

"Words I understand?" Sam suggests.

"We didn't understand it at the time, but we knew something…something was there." Freddie explains.

"I guess that's true." Sam says. She straightens up. "My God, it's cold."

"Wanna go inside?" Freddie offers.

"Don't get me wrong, I love being out here with you." She says softly. "But…it's cold."

Freddie laughs. "Alright, let's go in."

As Freddie and Sam slip inside, Freddie thinks of how soft Sam was being. Not the way she was a few months ago, when she forced herself to be all kind and cutesy. No, this was different. Freddie did fall in love with the aggressive Sam that he knew,, but he also loved the softer one. It's almost as if this is Sam's true side, a civil girl with an adoration of meat. And he feels as if this isn't forced. Of course, it's only in private.

Freddie pulls her onto his bed, hoping that his mother wouldn't barge in (not as if he had locks…lost those when he was seven) and they engage in snuggling again. Freddie presses his cheek against her pulse, listening to the thrumming over and over. Sam curls up against Freddie, and the two fade out yet again.


	23. Chapter 23: Up All Night

**(A/N: Be happy for this. I don't care how rusty this is, because I risked my ass for it. How? I wrote this in my notebook, and I was going to type this later. But what happened? I lost my notebook. My fanfiction could fall into the hands of someone who will humiliate me because of it. And I did get humiliated, in a different way. Sigh. Long day. Might as well post this anyway…**

**Also, the new season of House Of Anubis was confirmed. Just sayin', it made my miserable day.**

**P.S.: I know Drake's last name is Bell. But tied in with the Drake And Josh show, he'll have the last name "Parker".)**

_23.) Up All Night (Sam's POV)_

Sam cranks up the music blaring through the headphones. Carly, who was listening along with her, presses her hands to her ears.

"Man, Sam!" Carly gasps. "Turn it down!"

"Come on! This is one of your favorite songs by him!" Sam protests.

"It isn't that great to lose my hearing over it!" Carly snaps.

Sam begins to sing along with the song. "Hello. Let's go. Everybody must know. Love's in my heart like a bomb!"

Carly takes up the next verse. "It's blowing a song. Inside I'm singing!"

The two sing together. "Sunshine that you're bringing down. And it makes me happy!"

"My God, I love Drake Parker!" Carly squeals.

"Next time he's in Seattle, we're going to see him." Sam declares.

"I wonder when he'll be in town." Carly says dreamily. "He's so hot."

"We used to be obsessed with him in 8th grade." Sam laughs. "We still are, but you mostly."

"I wonder if he has a girlfriend." Carly says aloud.

Sam playfully shoves Carly. "Yeah, sure. That'll happen. Don't even think about it!"

"But I must! I love him!" Carly breaks into laughter.

The door opens, and Freddie steps into the Shay Loft. "Hola chicas."

"Hi, Freddie." Carly says.

"Hey baby." Sam stands up and hugs Freddie. This, of course, ends in a kiss. Sam and Freddie never admitted it, not even to each other, but they often kiss in front of Carly and Gibby and Spencer and basically all their friends. They never discussed it. It was just…reflex. They don't know why, either. Maybe they want to prove something…?

"Drake Bell?" Freddie chuckles.

"The song's over." Sam smirks. "Now let's put on some better music."

"Hey, you like Drake Bell, too!" Carly protests.

"I do, I do." Sam grins. "But…"

"Oh, don't put on Blink 182!" Carly groans.

"You know she will." Freddie says with acceptance.

"Anything but that stupid Family Reunion song!" Carly begs.

"Stockholm Syndrome?" Sam suggests.

"Here we go." Freddie muses.

Sam flicks the song on. Freddie grins and Sam sings out the first part, "This is the first!"

"Thing I remember." Freddie finishes.

"Now it's the last!"

"Thing on my mind."

"Afraid of the dark…"

"Do you hear me whisper?"

"An empty heart…"

"Replaced with paranoia!"

They go on like that for almost the entire song. Carly rolls her eyes and cuts in. "I hate to interrupt this punk or emo or whatever this band is—"

Sam whirls on Carly. "If you call Blink emo one more time…"

Carly folds her arms over her chest. "Whatever. Look, we were kinda studying before this. Well, I was. You were the one to turn on the stereo!"

Sam rolls her eyes. "Fine. Freddie, can we hang in your house?"

"Yeah, let's do it." Freddie says.

They walk out the door, and Carly calls after them, "Maybe I'll finally get something done!"

Once inside Freddie's apartment, Sam grits her teeth and balls her hands into fists. "What's her problem?"

Freddie shrugs. "She was trying to study."

"I was just trying to lighten the mood!"

"Ah, Carly's been tense, lately." Freddie dismisses the subject. "We all kinda have."

"Why?" Sam blinks.

"Probably nervous about college applications." Freddie says.

"Yeah." Sam trails off. "I applied to community college, but I know you applied to M.I.T…"

"Yup. Hopefully I'll get in. It's always been a dream of mine." Freddie admits.

"I know. They'd be stupid to turn you away. And they're supposedly smart." Sam chuckles.

Freddie laughs softly. "Yeah. Thanks, Sam."

Sam sits on his couch and stares at the ground. "You know…" She murmurs. "I may slack a lot, but I don't want to end up…like my mom."

"I know Sam." Freddie says, his voice soothing. "You've told me before."

"But that's what's going to happen, isn't it?" Sam claws at the couch. "You know it."

"No, no." Freddie sits down beside her. "I have faith. I know you care, Sam. Even if they don't."

"I didn't get any F's on my last report card." Sam says with a tiny smile.

"No, you didn't. Just four D-'s." Freddie points out.

"It's passing, isn't it?" Sam scoffs. "It's something."

"True." Freddie chuckles. "And think. You'll be in community college someday, and hopefully I'll be in M.I.T.—"

"And you will." Sam interrupts. "If they don't, I'll see to it that they do."

"Like you did for N.E.R.D. camp?"

"Definitely, baby." Sam winks.

"But anyway," Freddie goes on. "No matter what college I get into, it'll be a decent one. And…probably not nearby, but that'll work, I'm sure. And if I do have to hike out all the way to Massachusetts, then that'll be okay. We already agreed that you'd come with."

"I…I have no real family here. Unless you count my mom and my sister who's miles away." Sam mutters. "But what will I do in Massachusetts?"

"It'll only be for a few years, as long as I go to M.I.T." Freddie soothes. "You could go to community college there, if you want, or you can wait till we're back in Seattle. Because you know it'll call us back."

Sam sighs. "Definitely." She looks away again. Almost unheard, she says under her breath, "It never seemed so scary."

"What was that?" Freddie raises his eyebrows.

"This whole college thing. Growing up. I thought it'd…never come." Sam admits.

"I get that way too." Freddie murmurs. "Staying awake at night. Just…thinking. It feels like I have the world on my shoulders."

"I can't imagine what it's like for you." Sam stares at him with wide eyes. "You…you're going to make something of your life whether you like it or not. You're so determined. That's…really amazing."

"Aww." Freddie chuckles. "I do try. And you do, too, whether you even know it or not. No one wants to peril."

"Sometimes you can't help it." Sam mutters.

"But you can." Freddie insists. Then he chuckles. "Stick with me, kid, and we'll go places."

"Pfft." Sam playfully punches his shoulder, which of course, is hard enough to make him drop his jaw in pain.

"But I'm serious, though." Freddie readjusts himself. "Life sucks. We both know that. But it doesn't always have to. And if we just stay low and play by the rules, then maybe we'll make it. You and me."


	24. Chapter 24: The Talk

**(A/N: This is inspired by that new commercial for Nickelodeon. The one when they are in all a sleigh and they're all singing. Isn't it a little convenient that everyone in Nickelodeon has singing talent? Pfft… I know for a fact that Miranda Cosgrove can't sing. I've heard both Ariana Grande and Jennette McCurdy sing live [didn't go to concerts, heard them in a private video] and they both have talent. Kudos to the one guy who sang for that new show, "How To Rock". He sounded really good, and it was kind of different than any of the other guy voices, like, say, "Big Time Rush".**

**I saw the little Seddie hug thing, where Sam puts her arm around Freddie's shoulders and is like, "Ain't the weather dandy?" or something like that. Me, being the Seddier I am, had a bit of a panic attack. XD**

**Also, this commercial proved once again that Nathan Kress is one of the most beautiful people to ever walk the earth. He's adorable, just sayin'.**

**Strong Creddie friendship in this. No relationship, though. Cuz that's gross.)**

_24.) The Talk _(Freddie's POV)

"Hey, Freddie." Sam's voice sounds from behind him.

"No." He says immediately.

"Freddie." Her voice says again.

"Sam, I'm not turning around."

"Freeeddddiieeee." Sam's warm breath hits his ear. Still, even with the temptation, he does not turn around.

"If I turn around," Freddie says carefully. "You will throw a snowball at my face again."

"No I won't." Sam says in a single breath.

"Yes, you will. You've done it like ten or eleven times today." Freddie says, still not turning his head.

"C'mon Freddie." Sam begs.

"No." Freddie buries his face in his gloves. "No, no, no."

"Okay." Sam says, downcast.

For a while, they sit in silence. Freddie watches the delicate snowflakes drop, the softness easing the tension in his muscles as time passes.

"Freddie."

He turns around.

And it earns him a snowball, right into the center of his face.

"Lovely. Thank you." Freddie brushes the snow away. "That was necessary."

"Yes, it was." Sam pulls him in and kisses him for a half-second. "Lighten up, will you? It snowed like eight thousand feet last night. We came out for a reason."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Freddie smiles at her. "And _they_"—he gestures towards Carly and her most recent crush, Evan, who were playing in the snow—"ditched us."

"Yeah. Salty. That's fine with me, though." Sam smirks and they engage in kissing again, not caring that they were very well in public as well as in the snow.

"Hey!" Carly calls over to them. They break away and look at her. "Try not to seduce each other in the freaking snow!"

Sam rolls her eyes and calls back, "No promises!"

Freddie chuckles at that, and then says, "Hey, what's that?" He gestures towards her right.

"What?" Sam turns her head.

Freddie takes that opportunity to stand up swiftly and pick her up by her waist. She twists and turns for a second. "What are you—" She begins to say. But Freddie simply throws her into the snow.

"Whitewash!" He purrs, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh, that's it!" Sam reaches up and grabs him by his shirt and pulls him under with her. Freddie, still laughing, plants a kiss on her neck.

"I told you I'd do that this year." Freddie teases.

Sam gives the little balls hanging from her red hat a shake. "Hey, wait." Sam's eyes sparkle. "I got an idea."

"What?" He asks.

Sam gestures towards Carly and Evan, who were attempting to make a snowman. "Let's play." She grins.

Freddie takes Sam by the hand and they creep up behind Carly and wait a second. Without warning, Sam leaps up and snags Carly by her legs, causing her to fall. Freddie scoops up a snowball and throws it at Carly.

"Snowball fight!" Sam screams and joins Freddie. Carly recoils, standing beside Evan while the two shield their faces from the attack. Finally, Evan has enough sense to start throwing snowballs back.

Freddie feels a snowball explode onto his navy blue jacket. He whips his head around and sees that Sam is now attacking him. Knowing that the ground was soft due to snow, he jumps and smashes her into the cold.

"Betrayer. You'll pay," Freddie breathes, close to her ear. Sam tries to throw him off but she can't. For a second, Freddie sees fear shadow into her eyes, and he gives a cocky smile. Was this the day he'd prove his _clearly_ superior strength?

But before he could, he turns his head and sees that Carly and Evan are standing above them. Holding snowballs. _Many_ snowballs.

They barely have time to stand up and run before the white storm was upon them.

IIIIIIII

"I'll see you later, Evan!" Carly says as she drops off the guy at this house.

"Bye." Evan gives his girlfriend a kiss before leaving.

As she drives away, Carly rings the wet snow out of her hair. "We totally beat you too."

"Just watch it, Shay." Sam smirks. "When you're not expecting it, you're going down."

"Yeah. Sure." Carly gives a little laugh. Freddie turns to Sam, who was sitting beside him in the backseat, and sees her searching through her purse.

"Whatchu looking for?" Freddie asks.

"Benadryl." She says without looking for him.

"Sam!" Freddie says immediately.

"Come on!" Carly says in the driver's seat, glancing over at Sam.

"My mom got a new boyfriend and I misplaced my earplugs. How am I going to sleep tonight?" Sam snaps.

"You know you can stay over my house if someone new is over by your place." Freddie says.

"I know. But your mom will be home, and it's not worth the hassle." Sam shrugs. She finds the tiny pink-and-white pill in her purse and sees Freddie looking at her with exasperation. "Come on! It's not like I'm taking chloroform or something!"

"You take Benadryl all the time…it's not good." Freddie says hastily.

"I. Will. Be. Fine." Sam swallows the pill dry and crosses her arms over her chest.

Carly just shakes her head. "Want to hang at my apartment?"

"That'll work." Freddie says.

"Yeah, the stuff won't kick in for a little while." Sam says, turning her head away.

Carly drives them up to Bushwell Plaza and they walk up to the Shay Loft. Freddie sees that Sam was already blinking sleep out of her eyes.

"You okay?" Freddie asks her, nudging her shoulder.

"Kicking in fast." Sam says, trying to keep her eyes wide.

They go into Carly's room. Freddie watches as Carly takes out her Pearphone. "Hey, do you mind if I call Evan real quick?"

"Nah." Freddie says, turning back to Sam. As Carly begins to call her boyfriend, Freddie says to Sam quietly, "Come on."

"What?" She looks up at him, eyes dark from the sleeping medicine.

"Please just stay over my house. I hate having to fear when you're over there with some strange guy." Freddie says quickly, almost all in one breath.

"Freddie, you know I can take care of myself." Sam's eyelids begin to droop. "You…know…that…"

"Please." Freddie half-begs. "Please, Sam?"

"Fine. Now hush." Sam places her palm against Freddie's mouth and falls under. Freddie grins and kisses her hand as she falls asleep.

He sees Carly hang up the phone and turn over to them. "Pfft, she fell asleep on my bed again?"

"Heh," Freddie chuckles. "I can carry her back, though." It was true. Sam may be able to knock out truck drivers with a carton of milk and can eat basically anything, but she only weighs 120 or 130 pounds.

"No, wait. One sec." Carly says, almost frantically. Freddie narrows his eyes as Carly walks right up to him and sits down. She glances at Sam, then at him. "I-I need to ask you something."

"What?" Freddie says, bewildered. Sam was far asleep now, her head fallen to one side, her arm and legs hanging off the bed.

"I just got done talking to Evan." Carly says. She looked a little upset. "He says he wants to take a break."

Freddie frowns, seeing Carly as a friend in distress. Friends comfort friends. "I'm sorry." He says. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Remember Alexis?" Tears form in Carly's eyes. "Well, he said that she asked him out right as he got home. That's why he broke up with me."

Freddie puts his hand on Carly's shoulder. "It's okay…he was a jerk anyways…" He continues to murmur out phrases like that, telling Carly what she wants to hear.

"You know," Carly's racked sobs didn't seem to wake Sam up. "Evan dated her before me. So it's like he never loved me in the first place."

_Loved,_ Freddie almost snickers. What does Carly know about love? They dated for three weeks. You don't fall in love with someone in two weeks.

"It'll be okay…" Freddie says, almost awkwardly. He didn't really know how to comfort people. He can try…but it's hard.

Carly slows down her sobs, and wipes away her tears, but her eyes are still red and splotchy. "It's kind of funny, really." She says slowly.

"What is?"

"You and Sam. You…you two have it down." Carly gives a little, shaking laugh, causing more tears to spill out. "Everyone thought you two weren't going to make it."

"But we did." Freddie says gruffly, moving a bit closer to his sleeping girlfriend.

Carly looks up, and Freddie meets her teary eyes. "That's something to be proud of."

Freddie glances back at Sam, looking so innocent and non-deadly when she's asleep, and his heart melts. "I know."

They sit in silence for a few moments. Freddie lets his gaze run over Sam for a bit, almost possessively. He feels bad for Carly. He doesn't think that she has had anyone that she is sure she loves, ever. Not like he with Sam. Well, maybe she thinks she's sure. Just because you date around, doesn't mean anything.

Finally, Carly sucks in a weary breath and says, "I have to know."

"Know what?" Freddie tears his gaze away from Sam and looks at Carly.

"Did it…hurt?" Her voice comes out, barely a whisper.

"Did what hurt?"

"When I…no. When you broke up with me. We only dated for two days, but you liked me for so long…"

Freddie furrows his eyebrows together as he looks at her, almost confused.

"I-I don't mean to offend you with these… I just want to know." Carly says, sounding mature. "I'm not trying to start anything or to scramble… I just want to understand, I guess…"

"Love's a word that is so misused." Freddie blinks. "I said I loved you because you were my first crush, and I liked you for a long while."

Carly nods for him to go on, eyes still teary.

"But… But I think that, you know, if you truly love someone... Then you wouldn't let them go." Freddie says.

Carly lowers her gaze.

"I wasn't going to take advantage of you. Even if I didn't love you, I cared about you a lot. Maybe not even in a crush-way. Like a best friend-way. I-I didn't get over you right away. Time went on…"

"What convinced you?" Carly asks.

"Well, one of the factors was that I was right. It _was_ just hero worship." Freddie says. "After I got my cast off I realized this, mostly because you didn't come back to me. But…I wasn't bothered. Not even a little…so I was okay."

"What…was the other factor?" The tears were gone from Carly's eyes, now replaced with a light of curiosity.

"I think everyone didn't have any respect for me when it came to crushing on you. I didn't know where to turn." Freddie sucks in a breath, then stops, thinking. "Well, I did talk to Spencer a bit. He seemed to get me, even though he never really had a solid girlfriend."

Carly just stares at him.

"So I just started hanging out with Sam more." Freddie looks back at Sam, still sleeping, and gives a little half-smile. "Surprisingly, she didn't mock me about our whole issue. We were enemies, and then frenemies, and then friends, and then best friends. But then, you know, we grew closer." Freddie turns to Carly and closes his eyes briefly. "I think…I think I got over it because I was starting to like Sam. Whether or not I was aware at the time is irrelevant."

Carly is silent for a moment. Finally, slowly, she says, "That's amazing."

"You think so?"

"I…I just wish I could find someone like that." Carly whispers. "Someone who is there for me like you're there for Sam. Seeing you two…no one could doubt that you guys are head over heels for each other."

"I love her." Is all Freddie says.

"I know." Carly readjusts herself. "In a way, it's easy to be jealous of Sam. Not because I have a crush on you…it's because you're so devoted. She could break your arm and you wouldn't leave her."

"She _has_ broken my arm." Freddie chuckles, as if this was funny. "She got me shot, too. She's broken almost all of my fingers, except for the index finger on my left hand. Oh, and don't forget the hearing loss from the hydrant. And that's only counting physical things. If you count the mental—"

"I know she's hurt you. A lot." Carly says. "But you never waver."

That's the thing. Freddie knows that. All Carly did was kindly reject him and dated him falsely. That was enough for Freddie to stop liking her. But Sam did so many more things that were so much worse. So why didn't he stop?

The answer's clear as day.

"Because I love her." He repeats.

Carly nods, then glances at the clock in her Pearphone. "It's eleven-thirty."

"Oh. I better get going." Freddie says. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Carly gives him a mischievous look. "Remember that guy we saw today when we were playing in the snow?"

"Yeah?"

"He gave me his number. Kind of slipped it in my pocket; I wasn't going to cheat. But who's stopping me now?" Carly smirks.

"Nice." Freddie chuckles. "Well, see you later."

"Bye, Freddie." Carly says.

He nudges Sam gently. "Wake up, Sam. C'mon."

Sam opens her eyes half-way and stares at him, heavy-lidded. "Carry me."

Carly smiles as Freddie rolls his eyes and says, "Saw this coming."

"Damn straight you did." Sam murmurs back as Freddie lifts her up. Despite in her half-sleeping state, she kisses him softly. It doesn't matter how many times they kiss; it will always get the both of them melting inside. She pulls away and wraps her arms around his neck. He can see her eyes closing all the way again.

"As you wish, Sammy." Freddie smiles as he lifts Sam up and carries her out of the room, her head snuggled into his chest.


	25. Chapter 25: Christmas Seddie!

**(A/N: I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas :)**

** I hope to get a scanner for myself with the money I receive from family. That way I can scan drawings, put em' on Photoshop, edit them, and then put em' on Deviant-Art.**

** That includes Seddie pictures. MANY Seddie pictures :3**

** Quick question: Do you consider Sam's hair to be curly or wavy? **

** Happy Holidays!)**

_25.) Not Alone _(Sam's POV)

"You know," Sam says softly to Freddie. "This'll be one of the best Christmases I've had in a while. Since, you know, almost every year Carly's in Yakima and you're with your family."

"Yeah, I don't think I could take another year with my mom's side of the family." Freddie snickers. "Last year, I got safety scissors, which my mother took away from me."

Sam looks up. "I got a bottle of liquor. My mum said it was all mine as long as I didn't drink it all at once."

"Yes. Very responsible." Freddie mutters.

"You know how she is." Sam says, half-defending.

"I know." Freddie says. He looks at the time on his Pearphone. "Wanna get going?"

"Can I bring Bacon with us?" Sam asks, holding her puppy and blinking up at him.

"Come on; my mom hates you coming over as it is." Freddie says, exasperated. "And if any kind of animal comes into the house, she uses some kind of thing to detect the dander and then will spray the house…repeatedly."

"Okay, you win." Sam says. "Your mum _is_ more of a freak than mine is."

"My mom's overly-responsible, and your mom is under-responsible." Freddie compromises. "Now c'mon, let's get going."

"Bye, Bacon." Sam leans down and Bacon licks her nose.

"Sometimes I think you love the dog more than you love me." Freddie teases.

Sam rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure. Now you're being overdramatic."

"I know." Freddie smirks and kisses her mouth. "Now _come on. _I wanna show you what I got you!"

Sam blinks up at him. "You got me something?"

"'Course I did."

Sam tries to muffle her surprise. "Come on then. You know how impatient I can be."

They bundle into Freddie's car. "Where's your mother?" Freddie asks.

"God knows." Sam shrugs.

"She's not even home for Christmas?" Freddie echoes.

"She was last year, with some guy. I let her do what she wishes." Sam shrugs, not wanting to discuss this.

"What did you do last Christmas?" Freddie asks.

"I webcammed with both Carly and Melanie. It wasn't so bad." Sam says, trailing off.

"You could be requested to webcam with me; you know I would have talked to you." Freddie says softly. "Even if we weren't dating."

"I know. As if I wanted to see your freakish family." Sam sneaks in a smile.

Freddie rolls his eyes. "As if your family isn't full of freaks."

"We both know that." Sam chuckles.

"So, tell me." Freddie says as he starts to drive. "Besides Melanie, is there _anyone _who is sane in your family?"

"Well, there's my aunt Katherine." Sam shrugs. "She's the one who funds for Melanie to go to boarding school. She's fairly responsible."

"How come I've never met her?" Freddie asks.

"I never even see her myself. Well, once in a great while. She's got some kind of big business thing, never really has time for anything else." Sam says.

"If she's decently wealthy, does she ever help you and your mom out?" Freddie looks at Sam.

"Oh, yes, a lot. My mum doesn't have a steady job. She gives us money, sort of like a relief system. And she funds for Melanie's school." Sam looks away. "She offered to send me there, too, but I didn't go."

"Why?" Freddie asks. "I know this is true, but you never really explained."

"Why the hell would I want to go to boarding school?" Sam chuckles. "And I was only seven when I got the choice. I'd much rather stay somewhere where I knew the whereabouts."

"Well, I'm glad you did." Freddie moves away from the wheel and kisses the side of Sam's head.

Sam watches as they pull into the Bushwell Plaza parking-lot. "So your mum isn't home?"

"Nope." Freddie says. "With other family. Now let's go."

Sam slips out of the car. She feels something move in her jacket and she clutches it tightly. He can't see it yet.

"Look, snow." Sam says, smiling, looking around.

"I know." Freddie makes a _You-Don't-Say?_ face. "That's what happens in the winter-time!"

Sam leans down, scoops a snowball, and throws it at his jacket.

"Nice." Freddie brushes it away. "Don't want a repeat of the other day, do we?"

"Maybe later." Sam smirks, and they walk inside. They slip up the stairs, for once not heading to the Shay Loft. They go into Freddie's apartment.

"You know," Sam says. "Your house always smells like Lysol."

"Does it?" Freddie looks around. "I can never tell."

"It does. And I like it." Sam grins. "Do you have a tree?"

"I have one in my room." Freddie says. "C'mon."

They go into Freddie's room. In the dark, Sam watches as Freddie plugs it in. Sam stares at it, her eyes wide. It's been a while since her family got her a Christmas tree.

"It's so pretty." She says.

"I know." Freddie says. "Well, who should go first? Me or you?"

Sam grips her jacket. "I think you should." She smirks. "Mine is gonna blow your underpants off."

Freddie looks at her. "That's not even a real phrase!"

"Oh, it will be." Sam says, still smiling.

"Well, here's mine." Freddie says. "But first, I gotta say a few words."

Sam groans. "Oh, here you go with the _talking_ thing again!"

"C'mon, I'll keep it short." Freddie promises.

Sam makes an irritated noise, somewhere between a groan and a sigh.

"Okay. Sam Puckett." Freddie eyes his girlfriend up and down. "I know better than anyone that the key to your heart isn't just ham. Even though ham takes up a wide section of it."

Sam gives a little smile.

"But I also know that you aren't swindled by material goods, unless it's ham, of course. And no, I did not get you ham for Christmas."

"But that would've been good enough." Sam mutters.

"I know. But still, it had to be special." Freddie smirks. "So, here." He hands her a small box.

Sam gently rips away the thin paper and lifts the small lid of the box open. She blinks when she sees two rings inside. "Huh?"

"They're sorta like promise rings." Freddie says, taking one out and slipping it onto her finger. "Well, sorta. I-I know that it was rough for you when you where younger, Sam. And these rings are like, assuring that as long as they're connected, that we'll be okay."

Sam looks at the rings, seeing the purple gemstones entwined with the silver base. "Freddie," She begins with a smile. "This may be not only the most clique thing you've ever done, but this is also one of the sweetest."

"Aww, that's a Sammy compliment." Freddie smiles.

"Of course." Sam reaches over and kisses him. "Thanks, babe."

Freddie drops his mouth down to her ear. "Oh, and there's ham in the fridge, too."

"Now you're officially 75% cool." Sam smiles and wraps her arms around his neck.

"That's even better than 50%." Freddie chuckles.

They sit together for a bit,, just staring at the lights on the tree.

"Benson, as sweet as that is, I'm afraid that I got you something just as great." Sam smirks.

"Oh, did you, now?" Freddie smiles back.

Sam unbuttons her jacket, and slips her hand inside. She hands him the piece of paper she received earlier. "I got this a few days ago. I knew…I knew this would blow your mind."

Freddie takes the piece of paper from Sam. He slowly opens it. Sam watches as his lips move as he reads the words. His eyebrows continue to rise and rise, until his jaw drops as he reads the signature.

"W-What…!" Freddie stutters.

"My aunt Katherine is _very_ good friends with one of the head professors at M.I.T." Sam says. "Noam Chomsky, or something like that. Anyway, since they are friends, I managed to…to get her to ask him to review your files. Like, more specially than they would someone else." She looks at the letter. "And judging by the response, they like you."

"…Are you telling me…" Freddie says in ragged breaths.

Sam looks at him.

"…That you pretty much got me into M.I.T….?" He finishes, looking at her with wide eyes.

Sam looks back at the letter. "It would appear that way, yes."

Freddie just stares, bewildered. Finally, the shock overcomes him and he literally tackles Sam to the ground.

"Hey—" She begins to say, but is interrupted when Freddie roughly kisses her. And then again. And again.

"Sam," He says in-between kisses. "This. Is. The. Best. Thing. You've. Ever. Done. For. Me."

"All I did was—" Sam begin to say, but Freddie cuts her off with his lips again.

Freddie pulls away and holds Sam's cheeks with his hands so she has to look at him. "You basically got me into my dream school. Do you have any idea how much that means to me?"

Sam looks up at him. "I figured a lot…"

"This makes up for everything you've done…times like, a million." Freddie says, kissing her over and over again.

"Come on, I need to breathe." Sam teases.

"No, you don't." Freddie dismisses it and continues to devour her face.

"So are you going to do this for the rest of the night?" Sam asks.

"Probably." He replies. He smirks. "Problem?"

"Not at all." Sam smiles and the two lean in simultaneously, their lips connecting at the exact same time.


	26. Chapter 26: She's Back

**(A/N: I need your opinion…do you guys see possible Creddie forming due to iSP which I did not watch? All I heard was that Carly called Freddie cute or something… Do I need to pull out the shotgun?)**

_26.) She's Back (Freddie's POV)_

Why must she do this to him?

Why must she send him texts that say, _"There's an emergency! Get over here now!"_ with no explanation, and then refuses to answer any returning texts or calls?

Why?

She terrifies him. She always has. When she sends texts like that, he suddenly thinks that something big has happened. Something horrible. He gets things in his head like, _What if she's hurt?_ Or _What if her mom went crazy and now she's on the street?_ Things like that.

Maybe she thinks that if she _doesn't_ terrify him, then he won't come. He of course knows that this is untrue but he doesn't blame her for thinking that way. Although it hurts to know that she may not trust him, he knows that she has a lot of reasons to not trust people in general.

Ergo, Freddie's on the road right now, heading to her place to figure out the reason for the "emergency" text. And theories are racing in his head right now.

He wants to get her out of there. He hates having to worry about all the possibilities of what could happen since she lives in such an uncared-for place. It's easy for him to think that. Someone who has grown up in such a protected place can't help but fear for those who basically live with no guidance. Still, Sam has lasted seventeen years under those conditions.

That's just what Sam does. She keeps him on his toes. Makes his hair fall out. And there's nothing he can do about it. He secretly loves the excitement, but not at the moment.

He gets to her house in a fairly quick time, but his head is swarming with fear. He immediately goes up to her door, knowing it's unlocked. He's gotta convince her to lock it. Once inside, he calls her name. "Sam?"

"Downstairs." Her husky voice replies. Relief washes over him like a black wave. _She's okay,_ He thinks. He goes down the stairs, not knowing what to think. He doesn't know what lies in her basement; that sounds like something terrifying. And since Sam's mother is terrifying, he never went down there. What's in stock for him to see? A meth lab? Or maybe a dead body or something.

"Sam?" He calls again as he walks down. He sees a dark room on his left, and then one with a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. He walks into the somewhat lighted room and sees Sam in the dim light. "What are you—"

"You'll be proud of me." She says as she rips off a strip of wallpaper off the wall. Freddie watches as she slowly drops it into what appears to be a pile of the stuff, all ripped off the walls.

"Why?" Freddie asks. "What happened?"

"I didn't drink, that's what." Sam gestures to around the room. "Instead, I did this."

Freddie looks around the room. Almost all the wall paper has been ripped off, and even chunks of the drywall have been ripped off. Sam's hands are stained white was the chalky-like undersurface. This must of all been her doing.

"Why did you do this?" Freddie asks softly.

"Cuz I'm pissed." Sam picks up a rag off the ground and tries to wipe off the white stuff. "And instead of drinking to get over it, I did this. Happy?"

"Well, it's a start." Freddie steps over a fallen chunk of drywall and walks up to Sam. "What's wrong?"

"I can't say." Sam hisses. "I get too worked up then."

"You're already worked up." Freddie observes.

Sam just crosses her arms over her chest.

"C'mon," Freddie says. "Let's go upstairs and talk there."

"Why?" Sam asks. "What if I need to rip more stuff apart?"

"Well, this place gives me the creeps, so…" Freddie chuckles.

Sam sits down and looks away. "If I told you, you'd think I was being selfish or whatever."

"C'mon Sam." Freddie sits beside her and holds her hand. "You know I won't. Do I ever?"

"Sometimes." Sam says.

"Please?" He blinks at her.

Sam rolls her eyes. Grumbling, she mutters, "Melanie's gonna be in town."

"Melanie?" Freddie looks at Sam. "Your sister?"

"No, my great grandfather!" Sam snaps sarcastically. "_Yes_ my sister. She's gonna be here with all her preppiness and even the thought of it makes me sick!"

"You're hurting my hand," Freddie says, gesturing towards their entwined hands. Sam was now gripping his harshly.

"Sorry," She mutters, loosening her grip. "But still. You know I don't like her."

"But it's been a really long time since she's been here." Freddie says gently. "Tell me honestly. Why don't you like her sister?"

"My mum's always liked her better!" Sam snaps. "Dad too, when he was around when we were young. Aunt Katherine managed to save her from this hellhole but left me. She managed to escape but I couldn't." Sam hangs her head. "And then she kissed you, and that just ended it, really?"

"What?" Freddie blinks. "You didn't like that?" After Sam shoots him a glare, he adds, "Well, you obviously don't like that now, but you actually cared then?"

"I guess…" Sam mutters. Freddie knows that's a discussion she doesn't want to get into so he lets it slide. "But still. It isn't fair. She gets everything and I got nothing out of the deal. How does that add up?"

"Sam," Freddie says softly. "Don't think that way. It'll be okay. If Melanie really pisses you off this time around, then you're free to flee for now. But I'm serious… You should reconsider."

"Why?" Sam spits out.

"Because she's your sister. She's your twin. She's you—in a way."

"She's nothing like me."

"But she has your blood, and you have hers. That's a bond that can't be severed."

"She left me when I was seven."

"I know." Freddie slumps his shoulders. "Still. I wish I had siblings sometimes. It can get awfully lonely. But I know—Melanie's never around. So it's like you never had a sister."

"It just isn't fair." Sam mutters. "And what if she…you know."

"What if she what?"

"What if she still…likes you?" Sam gets out. "Cuz she used to."

"Doesn't she know that we're dating now?" Freddie asks.

"Probably not, unless she watches iCarly." Sam shrugs. "Dunno, bro."

"You never told her?"

"Nah. Why should I?" Sam brushes her thick curls away from her eyes.

Freddie gazes around the ripped-up room. "When does she come into town?"

"In a couple days." Sam mutters.

"Well, I'm sure it'll be okay." Freddie says. "I mean, how bad can it be?"

"I'll definitely have to wear two different colored socks." Sam says. "You know, beause they are—"

"—good luck, I know your philosophy." Freddie chuckles. He puts an arm around Sam. "I promise. It can't be _that_ bad."

Sam moves her lips over to his ear to whisper to him even though no one is there to hear. "You know," She whispers. "If she still likes you…"

Freddie moves closer to her and nods.

"I'm gonna rip her throat out."

"I know you will. Trust me."


	27. Chapter 27: Anniversary

_27.) Anniversary _(Sam's POV)

"Had a feeling I'd see you here, Puckett."

Sam whirls around at the sound of Freddie's voice. "You'd be pissed if I hadn't come."

"That is true." Freddie's voice says.

"Can you turn on the lights?" Sam asks, rubbing her arms.

"Naw. We aren't gonna be in here much longer anyway." Freddie replies.

Sam still can't make him out in the dark. "Well, let's go then."

"I love the way we talk to each other." Freddie's hand goes to Sam's. She jumps for a second but then relaxes. His other hand leads her to where they're going to go. "I mean, it's kind of like old times, but at the same time, it's not. It's almost like a tease."

"Well, I know how much you like teases." Sam sends another witty response.

"See, there you go again. We keep saying witty things to each other." Freddie says, then adds. "And by the way, I do _not_ like teases. I just take what I can get when you're being difficult."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam rolls her eyes.

They step onto the Fire Escape. Sam looks up at Freddie. "I knew it."

"Of course you did." Freddie chuckles. They both slip into chairs, but the January night was freezing, so Sam moves to Freddie's lap.

"So," Freddie says calmly. "This is the first time we've actually spent the third of January, ya know, 'together'."

"Yeah," Sam says slowly. "Ever since that day, we actually avoided each other on that day."

"Out of all the girls I thought would be my first kiss," Freddie laughs. "You weren't on that list."

"See, I knew it." Sam grumbles. "I knew you didn't want to."

"I didn't say that I didn't want to." Freddie clears that up. "I said that I didn't expect it."

Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

"I told you this before." Freddie tells her softly. "If I didn't want to kiss you, I wouldn't have done it. Simple as that."

Sam blinks up at him.

"I'm sure the same goes for you, whether you admit or not." Freddie says.

Sam knows that's an invite—more like a demand, really—to admit her feelings back then. Instead she swallows and just shrugs. "Oh, you know."

Freddie eyes her up and down. "How mutual _was_ our kiss?"

_Witty,_ Sam admits. But since she's the Queen Of Wits, just as she is Queen of many things, she replies, "About as mutual as our first break-up."

"Good one." Freddie chuckles. Sam rests her head against his chest, and she can feel him playing with her curls.

"So, you go first then." Sam says softly. "Was our first kiss mutual?"

"It all depends on how you define mutual." Freddie tells her. "Some people do have first kisses that mean something. But others kiss someone that they have a slight crush on, and boom, they never see them again."

"So, it's all a matter on whether or not it meant anything?" Sam clarifies.

"Yep." Freddie says. "And before you ask, yes, it meant something to me. Of course it is. I mean, if my first kiss had been with someone that hadn't mattered, then what? Even if we weren't together then, you know that kissing you would _always_ mean something."

"Same goes to you, I guess." Sam mutters, not good with words. "You know."

"I know." Freddie looks off again.

"So, you didn't kiss Valerie?" Sam repeats. She never really understood that whole thing.

"It was less than a second. It was only to manipulate me into doing her web show." Freddie replies.

Sam is silent for a moment. Finally she mutters, "Jonah tried to stick his tongue in my mouth."

"What?" Freddie's head whips around.

"But hey, you know me. It's not that hard to get away from a situation like that." Sam shrugs. "It's not a big deal."

"Well, it kinda is!" Freddie snaps. He tries to calm himself. "Why did you run away?"

Sam opens her mouth to reply, but she can't think of what to say. "…dunno. I didn't really want to kiss him. Even if I liked him."

"The school improved so much after he dropped out." Freddie muses.

"And after Valerie graduated." Sam agrees.

"I wonder what they're up to now." Freddie says absentmindedly.

"Hey," Sam chuckles and nudges his shoulder. "Did they ever suspect that we'd be together?"

"Baby, _no one_ back then suspected us would be together." Freddie laughs.

"Not even us." Sam agrees.

"But hey, why are we talkin' about them?" Freddie asks, toying with her hair again. "It's not like this anniversary involves them."

"That is true." Sam says softly.

"And," Freddie moves his lips to her neck. "It's not like they matter anymore. Nothing…matters…back then."

"Another good point," Sam gasps as he lightly nips against her neck. "Don't stop."

"Won't stop." Freddie's hands go to her waist, shifting her over on his lap so she was straddling him. "Can't stop."

"Okay, Anthony Kiedis." Sam sneers gently.

Sam's breathing starts to grow ragged as she feels Freddie's breath on her neck. "I wonder," Freddie murmurs. "If our younger selves ever saw this coming."

"Probably not." Sam bites back a moan as Freddie bites down harder. "Don't care, either. The ride to here was fun while it lasted."

"Wouldn't trade it for anything." Freddie agrees, slowly licking at the spot he bit. "I'm afraid I left a mark."

Sam grabs a fistful of Freddie's polo. "Don't care. Go on."

Freddie obeys, biting harder.

"So, Sophomore year, huh." Sam gets out. "Explain that again."

"I got over Carly. Realized that someone else was here for me." Freddie switches to the other side of her neck. "You were surprisingly gentle."

"Ya know, I saw you." Sam murmurs.

Freddie pulls away. "Saw me what?"

"We already confronted this," Sam says. "I saw you, ya know, slow-dancing with Carly. Remember that?"

"Yes, I remember." Freddie moves his lips to her own. "Did that upset you?"

"Uh-huh," Sam says absentmindedly. "I'm not sure in what way."

"I guess you and I were simply delayed." Freddie murmurs.

"It would have saved us a lot of time if we had stepped up sooner." Sam whispers.

"But we had fun on the way." Freddie says softly. "And you were worth the wait."

An _Aww_ threatens to escape her mouth. "You, um, too. I guess." She may not be the best with words, but she knows for a fact that she can match any feelings Freddie has, time after time. Even when they were Sophomores.

Freddie kisses her again. Sam feels an icy breeze cut through them, and she pulls away. "I'm cold," She admits.

"Can't have that, can we? Don't worry, though." Freddie's eyes darken. "I'll warm you up."

"Damn straight you will." Sam responds, gripping his shoulders and kissing him again.


	28. Chapter 28: Unfair

**(A/N: Mkay, two things. I watched iBalls. Hehehe. Balls. Anyway, I watched it, and the Seddie in it was PERFECT. It wasn't over the top and it wasn't too little. It was sweet :3 Oh, and I realized something. Sam's mean to Freddie when Carly's around. And when she's not around, Sam's nice.**

**Devious little thing.**

**Oh, and I hate saying this [PRODUCT PLACEMENT ALERT] but I got a DeviantArt account and I posted a SEDDIE picture. My account name is "RockPanther". You can check it out. Or don't. Either works, bro.)**

_28.) Unfair (Freddie's POV)_

"This is gay." Sam mutters.

Freddie turns his head. Sam has her arms crossed over her chest and she's scowling her face off.

"C'mon, baby." Freddie scoots closer to her and drapes an arm over her shoulder. "You gotta do this."

"No, I don't." The light in Sam's eyes awakes. "Dude, let's ditch."

"No." Freddie says firmly. "We had a deal."

"The deal was that I be nice to Melanie." Sam mutters. "If I don't talk to her, then technically I'm being nice, right?"

"Try to think of Melanie as Carly." Freddie reasons. "I mean, they are rather alike."

"Yeah," Sam gets out. "Except Melanie lacks in wits."

"That's true." Freddie says. He gently plays with her curls. "Tell you what. If you're nice, then you can come over. There will be bacon, obviously… And other things."

"Baby, you had me at bacon." Sam kisses his cheek.

"Well, be up for other things, too." Freddie says gruffly.

Sam just grins. "Damn straight." Then her eyes cloud over. "But, I dunno how much you'll be up for it after you see Melanie…"

"Stop it." Freddie says forcefully. "How many times do I have to tell ya? Melanie isn't you, and she never will be."

"But we're twins…" Sam begins, but Freddie cuts her off.

"Too bad. You two are probably as different as you can get." Freddie says. "And that's how I like it. You can't be double."

"Or the Universe would explode." Sam chuckles.

"And you're irreplaceable." Freddie kisses Sam's neck. "That's just how it is. So please, stop talking that way."

Sam grips the edges of Carly's couch. "I guess I'm not so worried about you… It's mostly Melanie. She _did_ kiss you, after all…"

"So? I like having admirers. It makes being with you much sweeter." Freddie points out.

"Pfft." Sam pokes him in his stomach. "Half the time, girls like you because you talk like a vampire."

"Is that how you fell for me?" Freddie laughs, then deepens his voice dramatically. _"Cause' you know…my apartment's only a few yards away. No one's home. We have time for—"_

"Don't make me hit you." Sam scoffs, and he rolls his eyes.

"I'm serious, though. If you're nice, I'll—"

The door opens. Freddie turns his head and sees Melanie standing by the doorway. Freddie studies his girlfriend's twin. Sure, she looked like Sam, but there was something different.

"Hi guys!" Melanie smiles and walks forward.

"Up." Freddie mutters to Sam, nudging her so she'd stand up. Sam does, glaring at Melanie for no reason.

"Hi." Sam rolls her eyes.

"I've missed you so much!" Melanie wraps her arms around Sam's neck. Her completely-straight hair was much different than Sam's curls. "How've you been? You almost never call…"

"You. Now." Sam suddenly wraps her hand around Freddie's and drags him up.

"Hi Melanie." Freddie gets out.

"Oh my gosh, Freddie!" Melanie steps forward to hug Freddie, but Sam snakes in-between them.

"Yeah, no." Sam snaps.

"What's wrong?" Melanie's eyes, the exact same shade of blue as Sam's, look almost hurt.

"Yeah, so Melanie." Sam begins, cringing. Freddie knows that she never told her sister. "I'm kind of dating someone."

Melanie almost explodes. Freddie can kind of understand that. Sam almost never got into relationships before she was with him. So the idea of her sister being in a relationship must have excited her.

"Who? Who?" Melanie begs her sister. "C'mon, tell me!"

"This one." Sam simply points to Freddie.

Melanie's eyes burst in shock. "What? Really? I thought you hated him…"

"I do." Sam says. "And I love him. It works out."

I give her a look that says, _You'll-Pay-Later_.

Carly walks down the stairs. "Melanie, hi!"

"Hey, Carly!" Melanie greets her other friend, and they hug. Sam sneaks over to Freddie and whispers in his ear.

"The two prissies together…" Sam chuckles. "Irony."

"What boarding school do you go to again?" Carly asks.

"PCA." Melanie replies.

"I know of that place." Freddie raises his eyebrows and prods Sam. "Remember? Those two people on the webcam? They mentioned that place."

"Oh, yeah." Sam brushes a blonde curl away from her face. "So, Melanie… Bye."

"But I just got here." Melanie frowns. "I wanted to talk to you. It's been so long…"

Sam gives Freddie a look that he interprets to say, _Come-On-I've-Been-Nice-Enough_.

Freddie gives her a stern look back, and she just rolls her eyes. "So, Melanie." Freddie begins lightly. "We _do_ have the webcast to do tonight, so…"

"Hey, wait, I have an idea." Carly says. "Why don't we do a bit where the fans have to vote on who's who? Like, which one is Sam, and which one is Melanie?"

Freddie knew they were missing a bit for iCarly that night, but judging by Sam's face, the idea Carly had was the last thing Sam wanted to do.

"But her hair is straight." Sam points at Melanie. "And she doesn't sound anything like me."

"I can pretend, can't I?" Melanie rests a hand on Sam's shoulder. Freddie gives Sam a stern look, silently telling her not to move away. "And I can curl my hair really quick."

Sam looks to Freddie for help.

"Come on," Freddie walks over to Sam. "It'll be fun."

"But—" Sam protests, and after Freddie gives her another look, she mutters, "Fine. Whatever. Go curl your hair."

"Yay!" Melanie wraps her arms around Sam's neck, and Sam groans.

"Here, I'll help you." Carly and Melanie go into Carly's bathroom. Sam crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Freddie.

"C'mon, baby." Freddie steps toward her, but she turns away.

"She's gonna try to steal you away." Sam hisses. "I know it."

"No she isn't." Freddie says firmly. "And even if she tries, she isn't gonna win. Ever." Freddie steps forward and gently brushes the blonde curls away from Sam's eyes. "I'll make it up to ya tonight, alright?"

Sam doesn't respond to that, but simply glares at where Melanie moved out of sight. "She's always tried to take everything away from me. Well, you know what? You're off-limits. I'm done putting up with it."

"You know, if you don't want to see her at your house, you can stay over at mine." Freddie says with a shrug.

"Doesn't matter. Melanie stays over at my aunt's." Sam says.

Freddie hears faint footsteps, but ignores them. He steps over to Sam and says, "Wanna sleep over anyways?"

"You're riled up today," Sam comments, grinning as she runs a finger up and down his chest.

"Well, maybe if you weren't so goddamn sexy, it wouldn't be a problem." Freddie drops his ear to Sam's so he can whisper more things.

"Uh, guys…" Carly's voice sounds behind them.

They pull apart. Freddie sees that Melanie's hair is now curled just like Sam's. The only way to tell them apart now is that Melanie's wearing a skirt and a pink shirt, while Sam is wearing a striped purple shirt and black skinny jeans.

"Now, try to sound like me." Sam says to Melanie.

"How?" Melanie blinks.

"Well, look." Sam says. "When you speak, it sounds like you're a cat who sucked in helium."

"Sam!" Carly scolds, and Freddie just raises his eyebrows.

"Our voices aren't that much different…" Melanie says.

"Your voice is higher, mine is lower." Sam looks away, as if she's thinking. "What's the word I'm looking for…"

"Husky?" Freddie suggests.

"Yeah, husky, that's it. Just try sounding like me." Sam says.

"Hi, my name's Sam Puckett…" Melanie says, her voice very low.

"I'm not Josh Turner, Mel! It's not that low!" Sam snaps.

"My name is Sam Puckett…" Melanie tries again.

"I'm not Justin Bieber, either. Try again."

Melanie continues to do this until she sounds like Sam. Freddie can still hear the strain in her voice though as she purposely lowers it.

"Good." Sam says. She checks her phone. "Okay, ten minutes to show time. Let's do this."

* * *

><p>"Wow." Freddie says, checking the messages they got from the iCarly website. "People are voting non-stop!"<p>

"Who won?" Carly asks, coming over beside him.

"I'm gonna tally them up tomorrow. But so far…" Freddie whips his head around to the twins sitting on the couch. "Melanie's winning."

"No way." Sam snaps.

"Yes way." Freddie says. "They'll be surprised."

Freddie continues to fiddle with the site things, and barely hears Sam say, "We'll be right back…" After about five minutes, he hears a teasing voice behind him.

"Turn around."

Freddie turns his head, and his eyes widen. He sees both Sam and Melanie staring at him, both grinning. Only thing is, they were wearing the exact same thing. Both were wearing identical black skinny jeans, and the same purple top. Freddie knew that Melanie must of borrowed it from Carly so they can pull this off.

"Not fair," Freddie mutters.

One of them grins. "C'mon, Freddie. Which is which?" The voice sounds identical to Sam's.

"Yeah, boy." Oh God, it's identical. "Let's hear it."

"Ya never know." One of them steps up and gives Freddie a look. "What the real Sam will do to you if you pick wrong."

"I know exactly which one of you is which." Freddie says gruffly.

"You sure?" The other one comes over and smiles. "I'd pick wisely."

"Yes, come on, Benson." One of them flips her blonde hair back. "We haven't got all day."

"Unfortunately." The other one steps up and stares at Freddie, up and down. "The real Sam and you can be up to so much right now…"

"The real Sam would make it worth your while if you choose right." The one grins. "So come on. Pick."

Freddie stares at both of them. They were just too alike. Especially by the way Melanie disguised herself with the hair and her voice. This was downright torture, and if he chooses wrong, he probably won't get laid for days.

But he knows the answer. He's studied Sam for so long, even before they were dating. Everyone was unique, even if they had a twin. Like the way Sam's voice lowers instead of rises at the end of a question sentence. Or how her grin tends to start on the left side of her face. Or how she keeps a straight face while she's lying, while Melanie has blinked every time she has said something while pretending to be Sam.

They were different. Just because they looked similar, it didn't mean a thing. Sam was the complete opposite of her twin. Freddie knew it, because he's staring at Sam right now, and he's ready.

He goes over and presses his lips against Sam's. _Knew it,_ he thinks to himself. He's kissed both Sam and Melanie, and they both feel different. Way different. This is Sam, for sure.

But then she presses her hands against his chest and pushes him away. "F-Freddie! I'm Melanie!"

The blood drains away from his face. What? She can't be! He was so sure…

"But, wait…" The other girl says.

"Nah, I'm kidding. I'm Sam." Sam grins. "Scared you, didn't I?"

Freddie glares at her. "Don't do that again."

"Oh, relax." Sam steps up and kisses him again. "Just wanted to see your reaction."

Freddie melts into the kiss. He knew he was right. He could tell her apart out of a million clones. He knows it.

Sam moves away and looks at Melanie. "You can go now."

"But—"

"Bye, Melanie." Freddie says as he presses his lips to Sam's again, blocking out the outside world.


	29. Chapter 29: Payment

_29.) Payment (Sam's POV)_

"What about this one?" She asks him, showing him a picture.

"Sam, you've already shown me that picture." He rolls his eyes. "And you already have a trampoline!"

"There's a hole in it now!"

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have cut a hole in it!"

"I wanted to see if I could!"

He just shakes his head, as if he couldn't find a logical way to respond. "I give." Is all he says.

"You give easily." She types something else into google.

"I do not." He responds.

"Yes you do." She looks at him. "Most definitely."

"If I was, I would get you a trampoline."

"Will you get me one?"

"No!"

"Fine." She sits up and closes the laptop. "You suck."

"No, you do." He smirks. "Literally."

"Good one."

"I know."

Before Sam could say anything else, she hears a knock on her door. "One sec." She stands up, off her bed, and walks over to the door. Whoever it is doesn't know that it's always unlocked.

She opens the door, and her reflection stares back.

"What?" Sam growls.

"Is…is our mother here?" Melanie asks, peering inside the house.

"Sort of. Now will you go? I'm trying to get laid, here."

"Just let me see her." Melanie begs.

"You have Aunt Katherine!" Sam spits at her.

"Sam?" Freddie comes up from behind her. "Melanie? Is that you?"

"Hi Freddie." Melanie says. "Sam, can I—"

"No." Sam starts to close the door.

"Sam, stop." Freddie puts his hand on her shoulder and moves her away. "Now what's the problem?"

"I just want to see my mother!" Melanie says, her blue eyes stretching wide.

"But she's—" Freddie begins.

"Why do you want to see her, anyway?" Sam hisses at her sister.

"Sam, she's my mother, no matter how you slice it." Melanie says, starting to lose her patience.

"Fine! Go ahead and look!" Sam stands aside. Melanie steps inside, her completely straight hair scattered over her shoulders, and goes over to her mother's room. Sam crosses her arms over her chest and follows her.

Pamela was there, all right, but she was fast asleep in a drunken gaze. She still had a bottle of liquor in her hand. "You see?" Sam hisses at Melanie. "This is what she looks like. All the time. There's nothing you and I can do about it. So go run away again!"

Once she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say. Sam's harsh, sure, but never that harsh. Still, this was a ticking time bomb that has been threatening to spill over for forever. No one could stop it.

"Sam…" Freddie begins.

"So that's what I did?" Melanie fixes Sam with a bloody glare. "I just 'ran away'?"

"Well, Mel, you left to a school that's miles away when you were seven and only visit around the holidays." Sam says icily. "I could define that as 'running away'."

"Sam, I love you. I love Mom too. I know you hate me—and there's not a thing I can do about it. But what do you want me to do?"

"Make it fair!" Sam's voice rises until she's screaming. "You think it's fair that only you got to leave?"

"Aunt Katherine offered for you to go, too!"

"There's no way in hell I would leave for a Goddamn bordering school." Sam says drily.

"Then how is this my fault?"

"You left me! You left me with a psychotic freak! I nearly _died _when I was a child while you were somewhere safe! You didn't _have_ to go!" Sam is trembling now, screaming out all the hatred that's been building up for years.

Freddie stands there silently. Sam couldn't appreciate it more. He wasn't trying to break up the fight or take sides or even stop it. She's told him many times over about how much she hated the situation. This moment was inevitable, and he knows that.

"Sam—" Melanie begins.

"You were always Mom's favorite," Sam hisses. "And no, this isn't a petty battle for favoritism, if that's what you're wondering. If you stayed, then maybe I wouldn't have come so close to Goddamn dying."

"Sam, if you had told us about that, we would have gotten you out of here!" Melanie tells her.

Sam just falls silent.

Melanie looks at Sam, and then Pam, and then Sam, and then Pam again. "You know what?" Melanie says slowly. "This is unacceptable."

"What is?"

"This. Me and Aunt Katherine really thought that she could pull herself together. But she couldn't." Melanie stares at Sam. "I can get you out of here."

"No, you can't." Sam snaps.

"I can get you to go to PCA with me. You don't have to stay here."

"No!" Sam snarls. "First off, I'd never go to a bordering school. Second, it's too late for that! You're trying to make up for something you didn't do, but it's not—"

"What do you want me to do, then?" Melanie screams at her. Sam's eyes widen. "Even if you're seventeen and can take care of yourself, what do you want me to do? Let you continuously remind me of how I wasn't there? How _I_ singlehandedly screwed you over? I'm trying to make up for it, but you won't let me!"

"There's nothing you can do for me." Sam says, her voice cold. I got myself under control. The only one who can help me is standing right there!" She gestures towards Freddie.

Melanie's eyes fall upon Freddie, longer than Sam approved of.

"And there you go again!" Sam spits out. "Trying to take someone else away from me."

"I'm not doing anything!" Melanie protests.

Freddie looks as if he wants to say something, but he doesn't.

Sam's eyes lock on Melanie's. "I don't pity myself—I never have. But if you're to come here, bearing apologizes and ways to 'fix it', then I'm sorry, but we have a problem."

"Then name a way for me to fix it." Melanie says slowly. "You're my sister, Sam, and even if you want me to go away forever, there's simply no way."

"Yes there is!" Sam hisses. "I've done so well up to now, given my conditions. I don't need any Goddamn help! Quit treating me like I'm some lost cause because I'm still _alive_ and well."

"Fine!" Melanie snaps. Her eyes have filled with tears. "I don't give a damn. You act as if you're so noble for coming all this way, when in reality, you're just being stuck up. You can sit down and continue to tell your sad story all over again."

"There's nothing to tell." Sam growls. "My life wasn't that bad. I'm not Dave Pelzer; I didn't get beaten to a bloody pulp. But you couldn't even get by a little neglect. If one little thing was amiss, you flee! You can't tough out anything!"

"Fine." Melanie repeats. Her eyes and voice are very bitter. "I'll just do what I do best, then."

Her hands balled into tiny white fists, Melanie turns and storms out of the house. Sam can hear the door slam.

Freddie opens his mouth to say something, but Sam cuts him off.

"Save it. I don't want to hear about how I'm a horrible sister or whatever. This was all a long time coming." Sam snaps.

"I won't deny that," Freddie says slowly.

"I know I was being stuck-up there, but what else could I say to make her go away?" Sam mutters.

"C'mere." Freddie takes her by the hand and pulls her into her room. Bacon is curled into a tiny ball on the floor, and they make sure they avoid stepping on him.

"Remember how I mentioned my father?" He asks softly.

"Yeah…" She looks over at him.

"He's alive." Freddie says gruffly. "He's alive and well. But I don't talk to him."

"I know." Sam says gently, tracing her hand over his arm. "You told me about it."

"To try and make up for it, he simply gives my mother payments. You know, my mother doesn't have a job. He's pretty wealthy. We make do with that." He grips the bed-sheets hard. "But after I stopped talking to him when I was young, boom. He simply stopped trying to talk to me. So then what? He simply thinks buying us off is enough."

Sam stares at him.

"Well, it's not. Even if it's something. He could've left without a word like your father did and it'd be the same." Freddie looks at Sam. "You can't buy love with money."

"If I ever met him…" Sam says, her voice taut. "I'd kill him."

Freddie gives her a grateful smile. "Anyways…what I'm saying is…Melanie's not trying to buy you off. She's trying to make it up to you, yes, but she's not at PCA wiring money to buy love. She's trying to be your sister again."

Sam grips the bed-sheets. "People make mistakes in this life." She says tightly. "Everyone does. But I hate it when someone acts like they know exactly how to fix it."

"But Melanie doesn't." Freddie points out. "My God, she's walking on eggshells, trying to figure out how to approach you."

Sam looks away.

"She feels bad. She lost you, and she misses her mother. It's hard when you realize how badly you screwed up." Freddie says softly. "We all know the feeling."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Sam asks bitterly. "Just let her into my life? Pretend that she didn't do jack?"

"I think she's been punished enough."

Sam freezes at that. Was it really that bad for her? Thinking her mother and sister hated her? It wasn't as hard as nearly starving, but it must have hurt her.

"I'll talk to her later." Sam grumbles.

Freddie gently toys with her hair. "I wish I could do that," He murmurs. "Talk to my father."

"You shouldn't." Sam says without a blink. "The asshole doesn't deserve your acknowledgement."

"You know, you're damn right." He pulls her close and they sit in a bundle, in complete silence, enjoying every second of it.


	30. Chapter 30: Eyecandy

**(A/N: Due to babysitting, I've been watching a lot of Zoey 101 lately. One word: Quogan :D So adorable. Anywho, there is a character from Zoey 101 in this. Let's see if you remember him…)**

_30.) Eyecandy (Freddie's POV)_

"Hey," Sam says as they walk into the Shay Loft.

"Hola," Freddie follows up.

Carly and Wendy are studying on the floor. Carly looks up. "Hey guys. What are you guys up to?"

"My mother tried to chase Sam out with a broom again." Is all Freddie says.

Carly gives a concerned glance. "She didn't hurt her, did she…?"

"As if Ms. Benson could hurt me." Sam scoffs.

"What I meant was, did Sam hurt your mom?" Carly rephrases her question.

"No. But we need a new broom. And a new lamp." Freddie sighs.

"If she didn't come at me, I wouldn't have broken it!"

"You're the one who said 'come at me bro'!"

"Guys, guys!" Carly snaps. The two whip their heads around. "We have a guest here. If you're going to go fight, then do it outside!"

"Sorry." Freddie rolls his eyes. "Hey, Wendy."

"Hey guys." She responds.

"Do you have any ham?" Sam asks.

"In the fridge." Carly rolls her eyes.

"Awesome." Sam moves away from them.

Freddie looks over at the material. "What are you guys studying?"

"Something about cells." Carly says. "You tell me."

"I actually could. I could say a lot about that. Actually, I—" Freddie is interrupted by Carly's Pearphone going off. "Who is it?"

"I don't know, I—" Carly says, but then she cuts herself off with a scream. "Oh my God!"

"What?" Wendy blinks.

"It's that hot guy I told you about!" She squeaks. "James Garrett!"

Sam whips her head around. Freddie watches as she walks over, her hands full of ham. "James Garrett?"

"You know him?" Freddie asks.

"My sister used to date him. They stopped after he graduated." Sam stares at the phone. "Well, answer it, will you?"

"Okay—okay—" Carly presses the answer button, and both her and Wendy facetime him. Sam rolls her eyes and gestures Freddie away.

"So who is he?" Freddie asks.

"Here, I'll show you a pic." Sam goes for her Pearphone. "He's twenty-one or twenty-two right now."

"…Then why is he trying to chat up seventeen year old girls?" Freddie asks slowly.

"You tell me. He dated Melanie when they were both minors. Here's a picture." Sam holds up her phone, letting Freddie see.

He only chuckles. "Carly's doomed."

"I think Spencer will frown upon someone as old as him dating his minor sister." Sam smirks.

"She won't be a minor for too much longer." Sam stares at him. "Neither will you. Your birthday's next month."

"And then technically dating you would be illegal…" Freddie teases, but after getting a death glare, he quickly says, "But people do it all the time. It's no big deal."

"I know. But still, like, what if—" Sam is interrupted by both Carly and Wendy screaming together.

"Christ, we'll sooner go deaf!" Sam snaps.

"Sam, did you _see_ him?" Carly rambles. "He was so gorgeous!"

"Hmm…okay." Sam muses, making Freddie glance at her.

"He says he wants to hang!" Carly says excitedly to Wendy. "Isn't it great?" She says to Sam.

"Hmm…okay." Sam muses.

"He said he was in Seattle for a little while, right?" Carly says to Wendy. "Maybe we should go meet him!" Carly looks over to Sam. "Good idea, right?"

"Hmm…okay." Sam muses.

"Sam, you aren't even listening!"

"I hate guy talk. After a while, it just sounds like a noise!" Sam laughs.

Carly rolls her eyes. "Just cuz' you're dating someone, doesn't mean you can't enjoy eyecandy."

"Yes it does!" Freddie protests.

"Freddie, I'm not talking about cheating!" Carly says. "Like, let's say it was a choice between Sam and Megan Fox. Would you—"

"Sam."

"But I didn't even make my point—"

"Don't care."

"Freddie's right. I don't go around enjoying 'eyecandy'." She makes parentheses with her hands.

"That's all you did up until you guys started dating…"

"Oh, hush." Sam rolls her eyes. "Don't you have a hot guy to fangirl over?"

"Good point. C'mon Wendy, let's go up to the iCarly Studio and facetime him so we can show him around." Carly suggests, and the two girls go up the stairs.

Sam leans her head back and chuckles. "Eyecandy. The biggest tease since plastic fatcakes."

"That's a way to put it…" Freddie chuckles.

Sam glances up at the stairs.

"Ignore what Carly said." Freddie says gently. "I mean, we're talking about the girl who's never really had a steady relationship. She isn't right."

"I know." Sam says. "She just gets on my nerves sometimes. But I still love her."

"Of course." Freddie says. He can hear Sam's phone vibrate and she pulls it out. She grins when she reads the text.

"Who is it?" He asks.

"Mel. Look, read it." Sam holds the phone in front of his face so he can read. He squints as he reads the words.

_"Hey sis! I'm hanging out with that intern of yours…he's so hot! xoxo I hope you don't mind this, but I'm thinking of asking him out."_

Freddie laughs. "She should go for it."

"Yeah." Sam agrees. "Brad needs a girlfriend. Someone to share his fudge with."

Freddie chuckles as Sam replies with a _"Just buy him a fudge-making factory and he'll ask you to marry him!"_ "So, now what? Want to head to your place?"

"We could do that." Sam says. "And then I can enjoy my eyecandy right there." Sam smirks, gently rubbing his arm.

"That'll work." He moves his lips to her neck. "We better get going then. Before Carly sprays us again."

Sam laughs. "Funny. She used to do that to keep us from hurting each other, and now she uses it for…"

"Uh-huh," He says, standing up and pulling her up with him. "Keep talking."

"Just shut up and get in your car." She snickers, and they move out of the Shay Loft.


	31. Chapter 31: Recorded Accounts

**(A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating. I haven't been typing much of anything lately. Sad :( Anywho, this chap is based off of personal opinion [at least Freddie's reason for not letting Sam see the videos is] in my own life. If that makes any sense.)**

_31.) Recorded Accounts (Sam's POV)_

"So, what did you need?" Sam asks as she sits herself down on Freddie's bed. "I take it your mom ain't home?"

"Yeah, she isn't home." Freddie responds, sitting down beside her. "She should be back in a few hours though."

"Bummer." She smirks. "Seems like every day something manages to get in the way."

"Yeah," He says, looking off distantly. "Good point."

"So, whatchu wanna do?" Sam asks, looking up at him.

"I dunno." He sits back, staring into space.

They sit in silence for a bit. Sam glances sideways at Freddie, and he sees that his eyes are trained away from her. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." He says without a blink.

Sam feels uncomfortable. "Come on. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetheart." He gives Sam an unconvincing smile.

Sam sits back, flicking the TV on. She puts it on the SYFY channel, knowing that he loved that channel while she didn't. She continues to glance over at him, and she sees that Freddie is still lost in the same haze.

She tries putting her hand in his, but he doesn't hold it back. He continues to stare at the floor, his mouth tilted in a frown.

Sam waits for a while, before finally reaching over and shutting off the TV. She sits back and stares at Freddie. "What's up with you?"

Freddie looks over at her."Nothing."

"Don't tell me nothing. I can see past that. Now come on!" She half-begs.

He looks away, not replying.

She doesn't want to say it, but she has to. She honestly could go the rest of her life without asking this question. But she knows how real it may be…

"Do you…" She swallows. "Do you want to like…break up or som—"

It shocks and scares Sam to see the light immediately flash back into Freddie's eyes. An angry light. "I can't believe you asked that." He growls.

"Don't blame me for asking!" Sam protests.

"Sam!" Freddie says seriously. "I don't even know how you can ask that. You know I love you, no matter what. _Never_ ask that again, okay?"

"Then what's your problem?" Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

Freddie sits back, ruffling his hand through his hair. "Well…"

"You can tell me, right?" Sam asks warily. "Did you finally do somethin' bad?"

"No." He says gruffly. "It's just that…I kinda found something."

"Found what?" Sam blinks.

"Okay." He sits back, his brow creased in thought. "Remember how we broke up at end of September for a while?"

"Yeah, back in Junior Year." Sam says, her eyes fluttering closed at the awful memory, That is when they shared their first "I love you"s though…

"Well, I was cleaning through the files on my computer and I…" He trails off.

"Come on." She insists, shaking his leg. "Please."

Freddie stops, staring at Sam. "What?"

"I said please." She repeats.

"…You did?"

"Freddie!"

"Anyway," He says, shaking his head, as if to clear it. "I found some old files I made around that time and stuff…"

"What kind of files?" Sam looks at him.

"I…I kind of made some videos." Freddie murmurs. "Like, a webcam, almost. To reflect how I was feeling. It was a journal basically, except with technology involved."

"Oh." Sam says, slowly. "Did you watch any of it?"

"Yeah." He says, downcast. "I, uh…think we need to talk about some stuff."

"About?" Sam says, trying to make her voice as soft as possible. She didn't want to sound like her usual rough self and shy him away.

"When we broke up the first time…" Freddie says. "Well, basically the only time, for more than a few hours…was it, you know…_really_ mutual?"

"No." Sam says immediately. "I thought we did just to wait, right?"

"Yeah. So…" He looks over at her. "I guess in these videos…I didn't know where you stood on it back then."

"You could have asked me…" Sam murmurs.

"Uh-huh, sure." Freddie says sarcastically. "I could simply waltz up to my ex-girlfriend—shit, it feels weird calling you that—and ask her, 'Hey, when we broke up, did we really mean it?'."

"You know, this isn't a turn-on." Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

Freddie sits back, looking as if he was thinking again. "I only watched one video. I'm…I'm kind of afraid to."

Sam looks at him. "Can I watch them?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Sam, please. This is one of those things…" Freddie sees the offended look Sam gives him. "Please, please don't get mad…I have a reason for thinking this way."

"Explain, then." Sam stares Freddie down.

"I've told you before." Freddie says softly. "How you're kind of like…I dunno how to explain it. How I was depressed before, and you kind of brought the light back…you know?"

"No." She says, completely lost by his stuttering.

"Life was bitter before this. I want to keep you out of it. Get it?" He looks at her.

Sam stares at him. "So I can't—"

"No."

"But what if I—"

"No."

"Freddie—"

"Please, Sam. I don't ask for that much. This is one of those things you can't make me waver over. Please. I wanna keep you out of this."

Sam stares into his eyes, before looking away. "Fine."

"Okay?" Freddie asks her.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"And hey…" Freddie says, pulling her close. "One more thing."

"What?"

"Never, ever ask me if I'm breaking up with you. Cuz that's not gonna happen." He says, kissing the top of her head. "Alright?"

"Yep." Sam says. Even though she's happy that Freddie is okay now, and no longer hurting, the curiosity was gnawing at her with sharp needles. Maybe…maybe she'll look at them later. _Just one video,_ she tells herself. And she'll never breathe a word to Freddie. That won't hurt anyone, right?


	32. Chapter 32: Family Reunion

**(A/N: Let's see if you see what I did here…and P.S., I am NOT a Jathan supporter. I couldn't care less who Nathan dates, ****AS LONG**** as he stage-kisses Jennette like an angel perfectly for Seddie.)**

_32.) Family Reunion (Freddie's POV)_

"Hey…" Freddie says, inching closer to Sam. "I really appreciate you doing this."

Sam says nothing.

"…Sam?" He looks over at her.

Sam says nothing.

"C'mon, baby." He half-whimpers.

Sam says nothing.

"You're starting to make me feel bad!" He protests.

Sam says nothing.

Sighing, he slouches in his seat. "But, hey…Stephanie will be there."

Sam says nothing.

"Seriously, Sam, it won't be as bad as you think." Freddie says. "I mean, not all of my family is crazy."

Sam says nothing.

"I mean, I've already told you who to look out for. It won't be too bad…"

Sam says nothing.

Freddie leans back, thinking. "Stephanie will probably follow me around again. Oh, and there will be some people from my father's side."

Sam's eyebrows raise, but then almost immediately knit back into a scowl.

"Probably only Nathan, though. That's my father's other son, so he's my half-brother. I guess he's good friends with my aunt or something…but anyway, he's cool."

Sam is silent for a while. "You never told me you had a half-brother."

"And you never told me you had a twin until Freshman year." Freddie retorts. "And it doesn't matter."

"What's his full name?"

"Nathan Kress."

"Woah…isn't he like an actor or something?"

"Yup."

"You never told me you're related to a celebrity."

"Pfft." Freddie glances over at Sam. "Oh, and I got you to talk. So I win."

Sam says nothing.

"Sam?"

Sam says nothing.

"I deserved it that time, didn't I?"

Sam says nothing.

The door opens, and Freddie's mother walks in. Almost immediately her face twists at the sight of Sam. "What is _that_ doing here?"

"Being forced to sit through one of your miserable family reunions. Because I actually gave in to Freddie's begging and did the right thing." Sam snaps back. "Problem?"

"Kind of!"

"Guys, stop!" Freddie protests. "People are gonna be here any minute! Can you stop fighting for just one second?"

His mother and Sam look at each other, and then back at Freddie.

"No."

"Not happening."

They make him want to facepalm sometimes.

In about ten minutes, Freddie's family begin to mill into the apartment. "Please, can I leave?" Sam asks Freddie under her breath.

"Come on, Sam." Freddie tilts his head to one side. "Is it really that bad?"

"One of your aunts just asked me if my mother uses hospital brand disinfectants on me!" Sam complains. "The only thing my mother uses from the hospital is the morphine she steals."

"Your mother _does_ steal a lot of morphine…" Freddie trails off.

"Can't I just, I dunno, jump out the window or something?" Sam begs.

"Please, Sam. You know I'd be there if you had a fam—" Freddie begins to say, but then he cuts himself off abruptly. "Please pretend I didn't say any of that."

"You already said it, babe." Sam crosses her arms over her chest and smirks.

"Please forget I said it. You know they'd use me as a chew toy!"

"…they _do_ like to chew people up…" Sam trails off.

"Look, just pretend you give a damn about hygiene, and they'll lay off you." Freddie tells her. "Oh, look, there's Nathan."

Sam turns around. Freddie watches as his half-brother approaches. "Hey," He says. "How've you been?"

"Same old, same old." Nathan responds. He looks over at Sam, who is staring at him with her jaw dropped. "Are you okay?"

Sam's gaze switches from Nathan to Freddie at least eight times. "Holy chiz, you two are almost identical!"

"We get that a lot." Freddie smiles.

Sam walks over to Nathan, grabbing his shoulders, moving him left and right. Nathan stands rigid, not knowing what to do. "Well, I do see some differences. And I can bet an entire fatcake box that he's funnier than you, Freddie."

"Hey!" Freddie protests.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Nathan asks awkwardly, taking Sam's hands in his own and moving them off his shoulders. "I've seen you two on iCarly, but you two bicker so much, I wouldn't know…"

"Yup." Freddie says. "Months now."

"She kind of looks like my co-host." Nathan says. "Jennette."

"Aren't you two on that one show on the Dingo Channel?" Sam asks.

"That's right." Nathan says with a smile. "Do you watch it?"

"Gross, no. You really think I'd waste my time watching your stupid 'humor' with laugh tracks every five seconds and innuendos that make you all think that you're so hardcore?" Sam says to Nathan.

Nathan looks over at Freddie. "You have your hands full."

"You have no idea." Freddie responds before glancing at Sam. "Hey, I think there might be bacon in the—"

She's already moving away from him.

Freddie chuckles and looks over at Nathan. "You got a girlfriend?"

"Yeah." Nathan says. "Madisen. She didn't come."

"That's too bad." Freddie leans back and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm only gonna stay here a few hours before…" Nathan begins to say, but it ends in a yawn.

"Tired _again_?" Freddie teases.

"Yeah. I'm telling you man, no caffeine ever works on me." Nathan says.

Freddie smirks. "There's this new thing called sleep. Ever heard of it?"

"Oh, shut up. Is your mom still making you go to bed at eight?"

"No!"

"Dude."

"She tries, but she never succeeds." Freddie crosses his arms over his chest. "And besides, Sam keeps me up half the night for other stuff, if you catch my drift…"

"I can hear you!" Sam calls from the other room. "And unless Nathan wants more details, I suggest he gets a move-on!"

Freddie turns to Nathan, but his half-brother is already slinking away.

* * *

><p>About ten minutes later, after chatting with his two cousins about how important it is to floss, Freddie goes to find Sam.<p>

"Where is she?" Freddie murmurs to himself as he checks all around. "She didn't ditch, did she?"

He checks around, and looks and sees that his door is partially open. He grins. That's the fatal flaw here—he always leaves his door closed during family reunion, or his family would go in there and spray the room with multiple disinfectants. He slips to the door, not going inside, but just listening.

"Come on…" He hears Sam's voice, along with the clicking of keys from a keyboard. "It's gotta be here somewhere."

He sneaks a peek, and sees that Sam is frantically typing onto his computer, as if she was searching for something.

"Can I help you?" Freddie steps into the room, and Sam whirls around, her eyes flashing.

"You scared me half to death!" Sam snaps. "What are you doing?"

"What are _you _doing?" He counters, walking slowly up to her. "Trying to find something?"

The panic is clear in her eyes. "No…"

"Are you trying to—"

"Coming!" Sam calls, almost running past him.

"No one called you!" He protests.

"My psychic powers told me!" She yells from the other room.

Freddie turns to his computer, trying to figure out what she was truly doing. She was in his files, in his videos, searching through all the folders. What was she—

Oh. She wasn't looking for the videos, was she? His eyes widen. The more he thinks about it, the more likely it is. Of course the curiosity got to her. Why wouldn't it?

He's glad she cares, but she will_ never_ see these videos. He can't allow it. And she's tech-savvy enough—she could find it if she was truly dedicated. And she is.

With a few clicks, he installs a firewall. _I'd like to see you get through that one,_ he teases Sam silently. He knows she means well, but…but she can't see that side of him. Freddie Benson doesn't ask for much, but this is way out of line.

He hopes she understands.


	33. Chapter 33: Trust

**(A/N: I meant to post this on Freddie's birthday, but whoops, I didn't think it was that early into Febuary. Oh well. Just pretend this is on his birthday, mmk?)**

_33.) Trust (Sam's POV)_

"Carlayyyyy!" Sam wails as she runs through the brunette's door.

"There is this new thing called knocking…" Spencer trails off.

"Hush!" Sam runs up to her friend. "Carly! I need your help!"

"What's the problem?" She blinks at her.

"Do you know what today is?" Sam asks Carly.

"Uhh…the third?"

"Yes! And what happens tomorrow?"

"Uhh…Freddie's birthday, right?"

"Exactly! His birthday's tomorrow, and I still don't have a clue on what to get him." She slumps onto their couch, sighing angrily. "I'm screwed!"

"Surely he gave you some kind of hint…" Carly says, sitting beside her.

"Oh, he did. He told me that the only thing he wanted was for me to not leave the bedroom."

"I'm out." Spencer says, walking up the stairs.

"Prude!" Sam yells after him before turning to Carly. "But seriously. He's always giving me the sweetest things. I gotta make up for it."

"Hmm…" Carly sits back, thinking. "Well, you _did_ give him one of the most awesome Christmas presents ever."

"That doesn't even count. I would have given that to him, regardless of the holidays." Sam sits back, brushing hair away from her eyes. "What do I do?"

Carly looks over at Sam. "Well, you know that you can't really buy him anything."

"I know." Sam says, crossing her arms over her chest. "If only it were that easy!"

"He needs something from the heart." Carly explains. "You know?"

"Like?" Sam looks over at her friend.

"I mean, you can't just buy him off. We both know that." Carly says. "It's gotta be something deeper."

"I know." Sam rests her cheek on her palm. "I'm running out of ideas, though."

"How about a goldfish?" Carly suggests.

Sam glares at Carly. "Yes, because nothing says 'I love you to pieces' like golden scales."

"It doesn't have to be golden! There are black goldfish too…"

"No there are not!"

"Yes there are! I saw some at the pet store!"

"If there were, then they wouldn't be called goldfish!"

"Look," Carly says slowly. "Just get him something that really proves that you care. But…maybe try to get it out of your comfort zone."

"What do you mean?" Sam tips her head to one side.

"I mean…you know, it'd really show him that you'd cared if you gave him something that you wouldn't like. You know how he's always trying to make you crack? Or get secrets out of you?"

"Kind of…" Sam doesn't like where this is going.

"Then give the boy something like that. Something that lets him know that you truly trust him." Carly suggests.

Sam sits back and stares at Carly with narrowed eyes. "That's probably the most helpful relationship advice you've ever given me."

"Thanks, I—" Carly begins to say, before crossing her arms over her chest. "Hey!"

* * *

><p>Sam walks up the stairs of the apartment. Stopping at the elevator, her eyes fall upon the stamp that says, <em>In case of fire, use stairs.<em>

She pictures someone running at a fire with stairs in hand, waiting to become the next hero. Laughing, she grips the bag she was holding and opens Freddie's door.

_Wham!_

As soon as she opened the door a crack, she feels a hand grip her wrist and drag her in. In the pure darkness, she feels someone pressed up against her—no, more than just being pressed up. More like attacking her face with his mouth.

"Fredd—pfffft." She struggles to say. As soon as she gives him his gift, she'll be happy to go along with the mouth fest. But she has to do it first. "Just wa—"

"No." Was his only response, and he continues to practically ravish her.

"Just—one—moment." She says, pushing him away.

He draws back. She can't see him, but she knows he must be pissed off. "You already know what I want—and you won't even do it!"

"Just one minute!" Sam says. She hands him the bag. "I got you somethin'."

"I told you that you didn't have to get me anyth—"

"Just hush! Don't open it now—open it after I leave, okay?" She lifts her chin challengingly and gives a smirk. "Not that I'm leaving anytime soon."

He doesn't say anything after that. He simply places the bag down and presses her against the wall again, their lips connected.

* * *

><p>(Freddie's POV)<p>

It was a day later when Freddie's birthday wish was finally "fulfilled". _And yet people still think I'm a loser. Damn. Maybe I am._

He didn't want her to leave, but she had said to him, "You need to see what I got you—but I can't be here while you open it." So despite his protest, she left quickly after the day ended.

Maybe if he opens it quickly, she'll come back. He didn't want her to go out and get him anything—he didn't want anything. He knows she cares. She doesn't have to do a damn thing, honestly. But the fact that she did…

He pulls out a card first. No, more like a note. He holds it out and reads it.

_Freddie, words cannot tell how much I love you._

_So forget it._

_~Sam_

He smiles. God, reading those words makes his heart melt. Why did he let her leave? This could wait!

He pulls out the other thing. The last thing. It's a tiny book with a purple cover. He looks at it and his eyes almost bulge out of his head.

_It's her diary._

She really trusted him enough to let him read this? This was Sam they were talking about—the same Sam who doesn't even trust you enough to be in the same room with her ham. He only read one chapter of her diary, and then stopped. He wouldn't dare try to read it again.

He can't even put it into words. He's already grabbing his keys and heading to the door. Him showing her something very private of his would have an effect on her, sure, but it's nothing compared to vice versa. And he didn't even have the balls to show her the videos.

_Well, that ends now._ He promises himself as he heads out the door. As he's leaving, he wonders if Sam planned this. Maybe gave him the diary so he'd show her the videos. Or maybe she's just breaking her walls down further.

If not, though…

Clever girl.


	34. Chapter 34: Not Today

_34.) Not Today (Sam's POV)_

Sam gently strokes Bacon's ears. "He'll be here any minute." She whispers to him.

Bacon cocks his head to one side, staring at her.

"That's just what he does." She shakes her head. "I love him to pieces, sure, but he doesn't always have to analyze the shit out of everything and anything."

Bacon nudges her hand with his nose.

The light from a car shines through the window, outlining both Sam and Bacon.

"Told ya so." Sam kisses Bacon's nose.

The door opens, and Freddie stands in the doorway, staring at her.

"Did you read it?" Sam asks, standing up and walking over to him.

"Not yet," He says. "You need to see this first." He walks over to her room.

"What are you doing?" Sam follows him.

"You'll see." He says without turning around. He turns on her laptop, signing in the password, and Sam stares at him quizzically.

"Is that a zip-drive?" Sam asks him.

"Mhm." He murmurs. Once he loads up whatever he was doing, he moves away and looks at her. "Now, Sam…"

Sam forces herself to not roll her eyes. "Yes, baby?"

"When you watch this, I want you to…to, you know, know that I'm okay now. This was a year ago, and we had just broken up, and…and I lost it, you know? Just…just remember that I don't feel this way anymore, okay?" His voice was so serious, it seared Sam's heart.

"…Freddie…is this the—"

"Yes, it is. Just remember that I'm okay now." He swallows. "I-I deleted most of the videos. This is the only one left, and after you watch it, I'll delete it too. And then it'll be over."

Sam kisses Freddie's lips briefly. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll be…I'll be out there." He says weakly, slipping out of the room.

Sam stares at the computer screen, holding her breath as she clicks, "Play."

At first, the monitor is dark. It leaves Sam in complete darkness, since it is nighttime and no other lights were on. She watches as Freddie turns his lamp on, so he's alone in his room, the soft light hiding most of him.

_"This is Fredward Benson, signing in." _He says into the camera. _"Hello, nonexistent viewers."_

Sam stares at the screen.

_"I was just at my mother's hospital. I guess she likes it that I'm taking an interest in her field of work, but I didn't go for that." _He grins, sending a shiver down Sam's spine. _"I came for these."_

Sam watches as he pulls up a duffel bag, and zips it open. He turns it over, dumping out the contents. Bottles and bottles spill out, clattering against the desk a lot noisier than expected.

_"Here's the main staple…My ibuprofen. This stuff is so, so easy to obtain, so there was no need to steal too much."_ He holds up the bottle to the recorder. _"Still, it's always good to have some around."_

"My God…" Sam whispers.

_"I got some more staples here, your Benadryl, your Tylenol…some cough medicine, both adult and children dosages. But here's the real fun."_ He smirks again, holding up a prescription bottle. _"This shit is extremely dangerous. It's a prescription drug, so it's almost impossible to steal and get away with it. I guess Sam's habits are creeping up on me."_

He pops open the bottle, scattering the tiny pills all over his hand. _"Mm. I haven't taken these since I was four years old. I nearly died, because I'm deathly allergic to these things."_

Sam's heart almost stops.

Freddie sets the pills down and says to the camera, _"Well, enough of that. I did it again."_

"Did what again?" Sam half-says out loud, her eyes completely glued to the screen.

_"Like I said in the last video, it's been almost a month after the break-up. And Sam…she wasn't fighting me at all. And that seems like paradise—Sam, not trying to slit your throat? That's a blessing from God above. But still. I had noticed something…"_

He trails off, biting his lip, trying to understand.

_"Sam fell for me, while she was being vicious to me." _He explains._ "She didn't really stop until she damaged my ear with the fire hydrant. So…it seems like a step-backward that she is indifferent with me, right?"_

"No." Sam says aloud.

_"So, I came up with a conclusion. It's a silly one, but there's no avoiding the verdict."_ He jerks his head up and stares straight at the camera, his eyes glowing with a wild light. _"If I can't be loved, then I want to be hurt."_

Sam's jaw drops, unable to form any words.

_"So, I've been doing things recently. Leaving myself open for it. I actually did it well. A few days ago, I was extremely sick, and Sam came over. I left my paper shredder on, on purpose. And what did she do? She shredded the love emails I used to send to her. Well, I still actually write them. I just don't send them anymore."_ He shakes his head, smiling and sighing at the same time. _"To be honest, I'd rather have the pain then her ignoring me."_

"I was never ignoring you." She whispers, even if he couldn't hear her.

_"One of these days, we're going to have to talk about it. I can't remain like this. I need to know if she is forcing us to go where we used to be, or if we're stranded on some lost island in the middle of Neptune. Well, actually, you can't be stranded on Neptune—Neptune is made of frozen gas which normally we would sink through; that is of course if our body temperatures could withstand the ice, because we'd be frozen in a matter of—"_ He pauses, thinking. _"No one Sam sometimes tells me to stop talking."_

He runs a hand through his hair, thinking. _"Butter. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to live for, but then I remember. Life's as surprise—it always has been. Did you think my younger self expected Sam Puckett to kiss me at the lock-in? That sort of saved me, you know?"_ He breathes in a shaky breath and says, _"And…that may not matter anymore, but that taught me something. You know? I need to keep holding on—no matter how hard things get. I owe it to the people who actually care for me. I need to…"_

He swallows, holding up a handful of the prescription pills. He stares at it, tears flooding his eyes. _"Not today."_

He lays the pills onto his desk and stands up. He straightens his shirt and shakes away some tears. _"Who knows? If life is the big, magical mystery they crack it up to be—then maybe it's not done yet. And maybe there's still hope for me."_

It signs off.

Sam sits back, her mind a blur. She can't move. She can't think. She can hardly breathe. Her mind's whirling so fast, she can only form one clear thought.

_Why didn't I see it?_

"It wasn't your fault."

She turns to see Freddie, standing beside her. "I should have known." She whispers. "I never would have let that happen."

"Baby, it wasn't your fault." He murmurs, sitting beside her and pulling her close. "Honest."

"I wasn't happy about us breaking up." She fights tears. "Y-You made it seem like…"

"I know; you told me how you felt." He says softly. "Don't you remember what I told you on Halloween?"

She looks at him. "What?"

"I said that it doesn't matter. Even then, I knew that the suffering will cease. And it did. We're fine, Sam—I promise. We got through the worst of it—and now that we're here, everything else will be a cinch."

Sam presses her lips to his cheek. "You…You tell me if you feel that way aga—"

"As long as you're here, it'll never happen again." He promises.

"Good." She kisses his cheek again. "You aren't cute when you're sad."


	35. Chapter 35: Eavesdrop

**(A/N: Le Convo that just happened with me and my little cousin:**

**Me: Hey, iCarly's on. You watch it?**

**Cousin: Aren't you too old to watch iCarly?**

**Me: ...Yes. Yes I am.**

**Cousin: Oh, and it's iStill Psycho! I love this one!**

**Me: No. This one is stupid.**

**Cousin: Come on.**

**Me: I refuse. Seddie is bitter in this one.**

**Cousin: Just ignore it then.**

**Me: Can't do that, suh. I refuse to watch any new iCarlies except for iBalls, and only because I looked ahead and saw that there was Seddie sweetness in it.**

**Cousin: Well, it's not my fault that you can't emotionally handle a break-up between two fictional characters!**

**Me: ...That is very true.)**

_35.) Eavesdrop_ _(Freddie's POV)_

Freddie opens the door to the Shay loft. "Hola—" He begins to say, but then he realizes that no one else is there.

What? He checks his phone. Sam texted him to head over to Carly's soon. Where was everyone?

He hears voices.

"Why'd you invite Freddie over if you're so worked up over this?"

"First, because he's adorable. Second, I want him to tell me that he read it. He didn't tell me if he read it yet…"

The second voice was undoubtingly Sam's. The other voice was higher-pitched and cheery, different from Sam's husky voice, but it sounded like Carly. But Sam said Mel…

"So, you want him to crawl to you, but you're restless at the same time?" Yeah, it was definitely Melanie's voice.

"Well, that's a mean way to put it." Freddie slowly walks up the stairs, following the voice. He sees the iCarly studio's door wide open, and he moves beside it, listening.

_Eavesdropping is okay,_ He tells himself. _As long as THEY don't catch YOU._

"But it's true."

"But here's the thing." He hears Sam say. "What if he did read it, and he didn't say anything because…what I think is true?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if my theory was spot-on accurate?" Sam's voice was wavering a bit. "What if he read it, and realized it was true, and then it's over?"

"Well, what did you write?" Melanie asks.

"I don't necessarily think it's true now, but I thought it a while ago, when we first started dating." Sam says. "What if…what if I was his second choice?"

"Second choice to who?" Melanie says, sounding confused.

"Carly."

"Now what makes you think that's true?"

"I don't…I don't really think it anymore, but hear me out here. What if, let's say, Carly 'falls in love' with him at this very instant. Maybe he would have left me for her."

_How can she say that?_ Freddie almost cries out, but forces himself to remain where he is. He'll solve this as soon as he hears every bit of the convo. He'll have to knock some sense into her somehow…

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Melanie says sharply.

"Admit it, Melanie! There could have been a chance!" Sam insists.

"No, there couldn't have. How long did Freddie have a crush on Carly?"

"Hmm…a few months short of four years."

"And how long did he _love_ you? And count the time when you guys were broken up, because you both were obviously into each other."

"Four years, directly. If you don't count the refused-to-be-discovered feelings after our first kiss." Sam says, then adds: "Well, they were on my part."

_Mine too, baby,_ Freddie murmurs silently. _Mine too._

"Okay, so almost the same time. Now you want to know how his 'feelings' for Carly didn't matter?"

"Okay, how?"

"When he 'liked' Carly, did he ever date anyone else?"

"Well, yeah." Sam says. "Valerie. Sabrina. And there were some others he was kind of into, but not much. He didn't actually date most of them, but he kind of liked them."

"See?" Melanie says cheerfully. "If he actually 'loved' Carly at all, he wouldn't have seriously considered anyone else. Carly was a crush, sure, but love lasts forever. I hate it when people say, 'Oh, he was my first love, but I'm with this new guy…' If it was love, then you wouldn't be dating anyone else."

Sam is silent for a while.

"But still." Sam says quietly. "If you were there, all those years, watching him throw himself at her, you'd have doubts too. He _would _leave me if she came around. I know it."

_That's enough._

Freddie moves away from the door silently, and walks towards it again, this time stomping his feet so they'd hear him. He looks through the doorway. "Hey, where were you guys?"

Both twins jerk their heads around to look at him. Melanie's staring at him straight on, but Sam isn't meeting his eyes. He can see a haze of tears in her blue depths, which she was trying to move away without them spilling out.

"Hey, so, Melanie, Carly's looking for you. She's downstairs." Freddie says, trying to lie as smooth as he can. "Why don't you go down there?"

Melanie gives him a weird look. "She's on a date."

"Oh, yes, that's um, right." Freddie says awkwardly, his bad poker-face surfacing. "Well, she said she'd be here any minute, so…"

"Her date ends at ten, and it's eight right now…" Melanie points out.

"Will you just go downstairs?" Freddie snaps, not in the mood to wait. His gaze keeps wandering over to Sam, and it hurts him deep inside. How can she feel that way? How can she not trust him?

Melanie gives him a look as she walks past Freddie, and out of the door, closing the door behind her.

Sam still refuses to meet his eyes. "Did you, um, read it."

"We need to talk." His voice comes out a lot harsher than he wanted. He still feels stabs in his heart that she didn't trust him. Well, that's all about to change.

"Y-You read that part, didn't you?" Sam says, her voice about to crack.

"Sam—"

"And it's true, isn't it? Don't say it's true. Wait, tell me. Is it?" Her blue eyes are becoming shiny again.

"I—"

"If it's true, then why did you lead me on? Why'd you do that? Why—"

"Listen!" He snaps, shutting her out of her rant. He stares at her. "No, I didn't read it yet, not until you're sure that I'm allowed to. Second, I heard you talking with Melanie."

Panic flares her eyes, but Freddie continues to talk.

"How can you say that? How can you say any of that?" He says, sounding hurt, feeling hurt, all the way down in his chest. "You seriously believe that?"

"No! I even said to Mel, that it was when we first started!" Sam protests. "And, well? Was it?"

"Do you seriously believe that?" He repeats.

"You think I want to?" Sam hisses. "You think I like thinking this way? You said that you had undiscovered feelings for me after our first kiss, but you dated her afterwards! What am I supposed to believe, huh? I don't know! So don't blame me for thinking this way!"

Freddie frowns. He didn't want to fight. He tries to imagine a scenario where Sam had a crush on someone for a very long time. And then she just drops it, like that, without being able to see the transition, and goes for him.

Okay, he can see how she feels that way. But it's not true, it just isn't. He can't explain it.

"Come here…" He murmurs, stepping closer and holding out his arms. She crosses her arms over her chest and doesn't look at him. Sighing, he comes closer and wraps his arms around her.

"Melanie was right." He says softly. "If I did love Carly, I wouldn't have fallen for you, or anyone else."

"Yeah, well…" She murmurs against his shoulder.

"How can I prove it to you, baby?" He says sadly. "I don't want you to feel this way…"

"You don't have to." She pulls back a bit and looks up at him. "I was being ridiculous. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He presses his lips to the side of her head. "We both get jealous. It's fine."

"It's cuter when you do, though." She mutters.

"I'd never pick Carly over you." He lifts her chin up so she's forced to meet his eyes. "I'd never pick anyone over you. You're mine, you got that?"

She nods, giving him a small smile.

"You're still crazy to think otherwise. You always will be. But we both get that way, since I'm ready to kill any guy who so much as looks at you, but that's beside the point. You just saw in that video that you're the only reason I'm still sane. Don't you see that? Imagine where I would be now without you. And I know you hate words, so I'll sum it up with this: I. Fucking. Love. You."

Sam says nothing, only kisses him chastely. She pulls back and looks up at him and whispers, "You're right, I hate words. But I like them when you say them."

"I'll never leave you." He murmurs softly, smiling down at her. "Not for anyone, not for anything. Okay?"

"Okay." She nods.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay." She runs a hand through her hair. "Well, I bet Mel is getting pissed, so we better head downstairs…"

"I am pissed." Melanie's voice sounds by the doorway.

Sam rolls her eyes, walking with Freddie and holding his hand. "Eavesdropper." Freddie mutters to Melanie.

"Hypocrite." She responds.


	36. Chapter 36: History In The Making

**(A/N: This is a continuation of the last chap. Decided to put this one in Freddie's POV as well…fits the situation more. WARNING: contains extreme fluff. I'm on a Seddie kick right now, and that's always a good time. Also, this contains several references from another story of mine, which are connected. Sam's kind of OOC here, but like I said in an earlier chapter, I could see Sam being sweeter to Freddie in private.)**

_36.) History In The Making (Freddie's POV)_

As soon as they reach the downstairs level, Freddie begins pulling Sam towards the door.

"Where are you guys going?" Melanie protests. "I thought we were—"

"Later." Is the only thing Freddie says. He hears Sam say something in protest but he isn't listening anymore. They move out into the hallway, and Freddie fumbles for his keys to his own apartment.

"Freddie, I told you it was cool." Sam keeps saying.

"Don't care," Once he got the keys through the keyhole, he swings around and looks at Sam. "It's clear that you need convincing, so I guess I'll have to do my best."

"You don't have—"

"Apparently I have to, since you doubted me."

Sam pouts, crossing her arms over her chest, looking frustrated. He loved making her angry. He loved pushing her buttons. Years ago it would have resulted in losing a finger, but now he knows this girl from head to toe. How she works. All of her.

He pulls her inside, not even bothering to check if his mother was home. "So, tell me." He says gently, moving his lips to her neck. "So you think I'm dating you just for kicks, is that it?"

Sam growls. "Sort of. I already explained it."

"Remember that time Spencer cornered us?" He asks gently. "When we first started dating, and before we broke up the first time? When he started telling us about how he knew it all along?"

**(A/N: "Spencer Knew It All Along" reference.)**

"Yeah." She says, biting back a moan when Freddie grazes his teeth against her neck. "He kind of went Adolf on us."

"Well, he didn't say my side of the story." Freddie stands back, his hands still on Sam's waist, staring straight at her.

"Oh…well, I guess not." Sam says, shrugging.

"Wanna know a secret?" He whispers close to her ear.

He can feel Sam trying to stay indifferent, but failing. "Sure."

"When I first met you…" He says softly. "I thought you were prettier than Carly."

"Pfft, okay." He can sense Sam rolling her eyes, clearly not believing him.

"No, honest." He says, pulling back.

"I looked like trailer trash back then." Sam protests.

"I thought you looked more real. Even if I had a crush on Carly then, I had never seen her once without wearing pink, or make-up. You seemed more rugged, and that's a compliment." He smirks. "And…I always had a thing for blondes."

She smiles back. "Carly had told me a lot about you…I was expecting someone wearing overalls and having a metal mouth. Let's just say…you were better looking than I expected." She gives a tiny cough before saying, "But, come on…you deserved that spitshake."

Freddie laughs, pulling her close. "And when I dated Valerie, and you said that I was important to the show…that's all I wanted to hear."

"Well, we did learn later that we needed you. It's a shame that Germy had to leave Ridgeway." Sam says.

"He's homeschooled now—he lives in a giant bubble so he doesn't get sick."

"Charming."

Freddie laughs. "It's a wonder how Gibby became cooler than him."

Sam gazes up at him. "And I hated Valerie."

"Because she stole me away from the show?"

"No. Because she messed with your heart." Sam gives him a dazzling smile. "And that was _my_ job back then."

"I hated Jonah too." Freddie growls.

"Because he tried to take Carly?"

"No, because he screwed with you," He says, staring at her. "And no one deserves to be hit in the heart."

Sam meets his eyes. "I know that now. It's a shame that it took me so long to learn."

"No, no. Like I said before, it'd be too weird if you didn't make my life miserable all the time." He says with a smirk.

Sam smiles. "And then we talked about it…but you never finished your sentence."

"What was it?"

"Something along the lines of 'there are other ways to cure heartbreak'." Sam tells him. "But then Spencer cockblocked us. What were you going to say?"

"Not sure." Freddie says. "Usually, I would have done this—" Freddie quickly captures her lips with his before pulling away. "But back then, you would have ripped my balls off. I would have probably given you a bullshit speech about heartbreak and second chances that is very similar to the one I gave you at the lock-in."

"Good answer." Sam nuzzles his neck.

"And then Missy came." He gives a tiny laugh. "I totally blindsided her ass."

"Indeed you did." Sam grins. "I was proud of you then. You were like a mini-me."

"Mini? That was the year I got taller than you!" Freddie protests.

"Mini-me as in sabotaging, Freddie. You were like my apprentice. Especially after you got me with the Consuela thing." Sam chuckles.

"I just can't believe you said the word apprentice and used it properly in a sentence." He smirks.

"I think I heard that line before, somewhere." Sam says, frowning a bit as she thinks.

Trying to break her out of that haze, he says, "Well? Then what happened?"

Sam points in the direction of the fire escape. "That."

"How long did we go without speaking to each other?"

"…About three weeks."

"Yeah, I think that's about right."

Freddie presses her head against his chest. "Ever since that day…it was like a giant blur. I kept, uh, noticing things about you. Little things. Quirks, maybe. I kept almost, like, pushing myself towards Carly. It was almost as if…" He looks at her straight in the eye. "I was trying to convince myself that I liked Carly."

Sam stares up at him.

"But…doubt kept surfacing. Repeatedly. And all signs pointed to you." He gives her his signature half-smile. "Face it, Puckett. You crept up on me."

"Same for you." She says. "Cept' I had nowhere to hide. I couldn't hide behind Carly like you could. There was nowhere for me to run; no wonder you found out first."

"We didn't want to accept it." Freddie says sadly. "We were scared. We didn't want to see change."

"And then Spencer tricked us." Sam says bitterly.

"He did." Freddie rubs small circles over her hands. "I was so confused. Carly found out, and it brought all of those feelings I had hidden back to overwhelm me. I couldn't take it." He stares at her. "I needed your input. I wanted to know if you felt as choked up as I did. If you did feel the same way…" He trails off. "Then I would have accepted those feelings."

Shame fills her eyes. "But I lied…" She mutters. "I told you that it didn't matter."

"Imagine if we both confessed. What do you think would have happened?" Freddie asks her.

"I wouldn't have believed you."

"What? Why?"

"Well, would you have believed it if I admitted it?" Sam counters.

"…Well, I guess not."

"I can understand Spencer's frustration now."

Both of them chuckle softly.

"We frustrated a lot of people over time, sweetheart. They got tired of our bullshit after the first four days or so." Freddie says.

"Spencer only got annoyed that we didn't get together sooner." Sam's eyebrows furrow. "I guess I made the right choice…"

"What right choice?"

"When I talked to him, after I saw you and Carly dancing."

"Oh." Freddie pulls Sam closer, feeling her soft curls tickling his arms. "Now, you aren't going to believe this…but if you asked me to the Girls Choice, I wouldn't have said no."

"You said you wanted Carly to ask you!"

"I said I wanted a _certain girl_ to ask me. I even tried buttering you up with bacon and it didn't work!"

"…You know me so well. I should have guessed you were using the bacon for something."

"The fastest way to your heart is bacon, isn't it?"

"And ham."

Freddie rolls his eyes. "So, Spencer, huh? I bet he was thrilled."

"He thought I was jealous. And maybe I was—a little. But it was mostly, like I said before, thinking that you and Carly would start ignoring me."

"As if. Don't be ridiculous, Sam, you and I didn't treat Carly like a third wheel. Why would we make you feel that way?"

"Maybe we are." Sam says distantly.

"Hmm…I really don't think so. We don't exclude her from much _anymore._"

"Good point." Sam trails off, thinking. "Spencer said you two wouldn't leave me. And you didn't, even when you two started dating."

"Ehh, it was only for three days. And a _certain blonde girl_ told me the truth about it." He smirks. "So, _were_ you jealous?"

He expects Sam to roll her eyes, gently smack his arm and say, "Undiscovered feelings, Freddie, so not really then." But she doesn't say that. She lowers her eyes and looks almost ashamed.

"I need to tell you somethin'." She murmurs.

"What, baby?"

"When…When I found out Carly kissed you, I did something…kind of bad."

Freddie tilts his head to one side. "What?"

"Remember Matt? Well, he'd been after me since the day me and my friends found him wandering the streets, fresh out of juvy. Well, I didn't take him up on anything, until that day. I kind of pounced on him…"

Freddie's eyes were wide. His pulse was thumping and thumping until it was almost vibrating. "Sam…you didn't—"

"I almost did. He's rough as fuck, Freddie, let me tell you. He was trying to get my clothes off about two minutes into it. Doesn't matter, though, because something weird happened…"

"Tell me." His voice is thick with disbelief.

"It's almost as if I could…hear you. Hear your voice, almost. Telling me that I was worth more than this. And that I couldn't give myself to this gutter guy."

"So…nothing further than making out?" The end of his sentence comes out as a desperate squeak.

"No. I didn't lie to you, Freddie—you were my first, and you are my only. And it's going to stay that way." She promises.

"Good." He fights off the urge to kiss her; he wants to prove his point first. "Remember how me and Spencer talked after I broke up with Carly…and he dropped the picture?"

"Yes…"

"And then you comforted me right after it? Remember, you weren't mean about it?"

"Yes…"

"Well, that was actually…really important to me. For once, it's like I didn't have to hide. For once, you were there beside me, cheering me up, and I didn't have to think about anything else. There was nothing to hide, nothing to worry about. Just you there, being kind, yet still yourself. For once… I thought of other things. Other options. Other girls. I forgot Carly in a matter of _hours,_ Sam." He grabs her wrists and stares intensely into her eyes. "Do you know what kind of impression that is?"

He can see a ghost of a blush on Sam's cheeks. "Some kind, I assume…"

"And do you know how frustrated I was when you said you liked Spencer?" He asks, watching her look up at him. "Even more so Brad. He was just like me, and yet…and yet you found him more appealing?"

"But I never liked him!"

"I know that now, but I didn't know it then. I didn't want to help Carly at all. It wasn't fair, but if you were in love, I'd accept it. You deserved someone. I had to let you know, with certainty that you needed to let your feelings out. And…you did."

"Well…I did."

"You scared me so much, disappearing like that." He murmurs tenderly.

"I was_ so sure_ that you were going to use me." Sam half-whispers "Use this opportunity to get back at me for all the pain I've put you through."

"See? That's the thing. I could have tortured you all I wanted, and I didn't. And you know why?" He gently takes Sam's hands into his. "I realized I was not alone. All these feelings I refused to consider—you had them too. What was there to hide? There was no reason to hide—not anymore. I could have you all to myself without any of the extra baggage. I didn't realize this because I was so worried about getting you back home—I didn't see what I was given until we were doing iCarly from Troubled Waters. And you were right, Sam, you were crazy. But I was crazy too."

Sam is silent for a while. Then she whispers, "That's why."

"What?"

"That's why I doubt it, sometimes. Will you listen to yourself, for one minute? You're as sweet as can be. You're kind and gentlemen-like and hell, you're even cute. And that's why I doubt it! I make your life hell, and yet you always come back!" She looks up at him. "How?"

He gazes back at her, almost smitten. "You give me too much credit. You're adorable, and you're quirky, and you aren't afraid to be yourself. You're rough around the edges, sure, but look at you now! You only insult me in public, and I can take that."

"Maybe I shouldn't even do that." She says, furrowing her eyebrows together, focusing on the floor.

"Like I said before, you don't have to hold back. I love that about you; you aren't afraid to be yourself. And you don't insult me that much anymore, and you don't even hit me in the face anymore!"

"…I guess that's a plus." Sam turns her head away, looking sad. "You know, no one deserves you. Not me, not anyone."

"Come on…"

"I'm being straight up honest here. I don't understand why Carly rejected you so many times…"

"Well, I'm glad she did." Freddie takes her into his arms again, kissing her gently. "I don't want that girl, not even a little. And there's no doubt in my mind."

"Even after we broke up, we still belonged to each other." Sam says softly. "Like a code…"

"We don't need to think about it." Freddie tells her gently. "We've fought so hard to get to this point, and there's nothing else to worry about. Okay? Don't doubt me, babe. I love you."

"I love you too." She murmurs, laying her head against his chest. "More than you'll ever know."

"I don't think so."

"Yep." She responds.

"Sam!" He protests. "I just spent the last hour explaining how I love you to pieces. You seriously don't think I love you as much?"

A teasing glint enters her eyes. "I didn't say I played fair." She smirks before pulling him down to kiss her.


	37. Chapter 37: Nail Gun

**(A/N: Hey people of the fanfiction world. I need some help…**

** So, I can dish out a chapter of this story in an hour if I'm motivated. It's easy for me, because it's fanfiction. It's so much easier for me to write fanfiction than it is for me to write my own junk. It took me an **_**entire day**_** to write a chapter [an actual chapter, ten pages] and I still think it's not good enough. Any advice to overcome this?**

** Also,**

**I just watched iStart A Fanwar, and I am ashamed xD I see myself in there, standing up and shouting out "SEDDIE" along with Gilbert. How come there were more Creddiers than Seddiers in the crowd? Seddie had more fans even then, or so Wiki says…)**

_37.) Nail Gun (Sam's POV)_

Sam presses a pillow to each other to block out the sounds of…well, maybe it's best that she doesn't describe it. Her mum brought home yet another sleazy guy, and well…you know how it goes.

"Why can't they rent a motel room?" Sam groans to one in particular because there is no one to talk to. She sees Bacon curled up into a ball, completely oblivious to the noise, and she growls, "Okay then, dog. Leave me here for myself."

Her hand flies to the tiny box, her special box filled with Benadryl, and reaches to grab a couple. She groans when she realizes that she is out of them, and forgot to pick them up from the pharmacy. "Daaaaamn."

She hears her mum's door open and she stumbles into her room. Her spiky pixie bob was now sex hair, and Sam rolls her eyes.

"Ibuprofen?" Her mum slurs.

"Can't do that. You're drunk." Sam responds.

"Don't be like that."

"Mum, Freddie told me that taking medication while you're intoxicated can seriously hurt you. You're going to have to ride out your hangover from last night yourself—and drinking even more doesn't help, by the way."

"I'll just buy my own." Her mum growls and limps out of her room. Sam opens her mouth, about to say something, but she knew it was no point and she closes her mouth.

She can't wait until she's eighteen. When she's eighteen, you can bet that the first thing she'll be doing is leaving this hellhole. She only has to wait until her birthday in April and she'll escape.

But then where will she go? She's going to have to hike all the way out to Massachusetts with Freddie. She wanted to stay in Seattle, but she's not going to leave Freddie. Not today, not tomorrow, or any day in the future. And Freddie wouldn't leave her behind, and she would obviously come with him in this situation. But she didn't even know Massachusetts was a state before Freddie began telling her about all of his dreams of going there! What is the capital of Massachusetts, anyway? She knows nothing about the place but she'll be hiking out there in less than a year.

She hears coughing, and her head snaps up. The guy that her mum was undoubtedly milking before walks into her room as if he owned the place. Sam sits back and glances up.

"'Sup." She says.

"Where's your mother?" He was clearly drunk, his mind somewhere else.

"Buying drugs. And not the drugs you're thinking of, ibuprofen and such. Out of luck." Sam glances at her nails, looking at the chipped purple nail polish.

"Didn't know she had a daughter." He comes closer.

"Yeah, well. You must be blind then. You can't see the stretch marks?"

"How old are you?"

"Too young." She flashes back. _Oh, that's good, Puckett. Write that one down._

He's only three feet away now, eying her up.

"Not a step closer." She threatens.

"Don't be like that." He steps closer. "Your mum doesn't have to know."

_And so that's the issue here?_

Sam rolls her eyes and stretches over to her nightstand. In the brief seconds she ponders on what she'll use. Her knife? Nah, she might kill him. Her pepperspray? Aw, she ran out of it. Her nunchuks? Fun, but they are in her closet right now. Her gun? She'd definitely kill him. Her ninja eggs? Nah, they can't have a repeat of the Matt incident. Maybe she'll use her—

The man grabs a fistful of her hair and pushes her against the wall. She grits her teeth. _Fuck, I felt that!_ Still, she feels no fear; she knows how to deal with this.

Her foot jets forward and hits him where you don't want to be hit. Ripping out of his grasp, she moves to the other side of her bed and grabs her latest weapon. The weapon that she begged Freddie to buy her, and despite his resistance, he finally gave into.

Her hand encloses around the nail gun and she stands up fully, waiting for him to lunge again. And when he does, she sends two nails flying in his direction. His scream of pain makes her snicker a bit.

_That has to hurt, _she thinks to herself. Now you see why she's not afraid of rapists?

She moves to her living room, her nail gun still poised to strike as she dials Freddie's number.

She waits.

And waits.

"Sam?"

"Hey, Freddie." She says. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Well, it seems as if—"

She is interrupted by a venomous hiss from her bedroom. _"You little bitch! I'll fucking kill you!"_

"Sam, who the hell was that?"

"A kind of nail-gunned a rather frustrated man. You wanna come and help me out?"

She watches the man sprint towards the door. She simply lifts her nail gun and sends three more nails through him. He recoils again, his mouth stretching wide in pain.

"It's not good, Freddie. Just come—please—" She hangs up the phone, stuffs it in her shirt and springs upward. Whipping out the door, she's surrounded by darkness, and no car to take.

Guess she's walking, then. Or running.

He follows her out, and her breath hitches in her throat. In the dark, she lifts the nail gun again and attempts to aim for his eyes. She decides against it, knowing he'd be blind forever, and she just continues to run.

She no longer hears the footsteps running behind her. Slowing to a halt, she pants and looks back and forth. Is she out of the clear? She must be.

Freddie's headlights shine over her, and her heart melts in relief. Moving up towards the passenger's seat, she opens the door and smiles.

"Well, that was close." She pants.

Freddie's immediately on the case, grabbing her wrist and assessing her condition up and down. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, but the sorry ass who tried to mess with me is." Sam growls back.

"What happened?"

"My mum's new boyfriend got a little too comfortable. Doesn't matter. I planted five nails through his sad self, and it's all good." She wraps her arms around his neck. "That was…really close."

Freddie just holds her closer, not saying anything.

"What are you thinking?" She asks.

"You can't do this forever, you know."

"Do what?"

"Stay there. It's getting too dangerous. You said so yourself that it was close!"

"Freddie, I only have to wait until my birthday." She tells him gently. "I'll be allowed to leave—not that my mum would care, anyways—and I'll be okay until then."

"And what if you're not?" His voice trembles a bit. "Don't you see that I worry?"

"I'll be okay. And where else could I go? Your mum hates me."

"My mother hates you, I know…but there has to be some way…"

"It scares me a bit, but I've been holding out my hold life. I can do it again."

"Please, Sam." His dark eyes bore into hers.

"But what can I do?"

"We'll figure something out, okay? But for now…just come home with me."

"Your mum home?"

"Yeah…but she was asleep when I last saw her. If we're quiet, I'm sure you can stay the night."

"_Quiet_, huh? Bummer."

Freddie smiles, draping an arm around her shoulders. He drops his lips to her hear and whispers, "Don't worry. Once school ends we'll get out of here, and we won't have to worry about your mother anymore."

"Pleasant thought, but the drama always has a way of sneaking up on us."

"We'll pull through. We always do."

Sam lays her head on Freddie's chest. "Thanks for coming back for me, yet again. I'll have to save your ass sometime soon."

"Well, that's a happy thought." He chuckles. "Now come on. I gotta drive us back."

Sam moves up and kisses him on his lips briefly. "I don't know where I'd be without you."

"A mental hospital." He smirks.

"You'd be right there with me, boy."


	38. Chapter 38: Math

** (A/N: I just had a realization. While I was writing this, I was thinking of a pop name to use in this. You know, a pop name that comes from the show, like Peppy Cola or something. But then I remembered the "Dr. Gibs" that was introduced in iBalls.**

** See, here's the thing. Dan likes to keep the memory of old, favored characters alive. He even brought back Craig & Eric as well as Stacey in iSAFW. Through little ways he can keep their memory strong, and that's all he can do once the show they were in ends.**

** So maybe this was foreshadowing the approaching end of iCarly. In whatever new show Dan is going to create to replace it [which I REFUSE to watch. I need to get a life again; I can't get sucked back into another one of Dan's shows!], they will probably mention that soda name again, therefore keeping Gibby's memory alive.**

** End of iCarly = relieving but sad.)**

_38.) Math (Freddie's POV)_

Freddie glances over at Sam. "How's it going?"

"Don't speak to me."

"Sam…" He says, moving closer. "You said you'd try harder."

"You're not even helping me with this!"

"Yes I have! I've been helping you through all of it! Your idea of help is just straight-up copying."

"Point is?"

"When you take a test, copying won't help then."

"Not unless you cheat."

"Sam!"

"What can I say? Old habits die hard."

Freddie looks over at Sam, who is staring at her worksheet with a blank stare. "Which problem are you on?"

"You know, math teaches you nothing." She snaps. "And most of the time, it doesn't help you later in life."

"Yes it does, Sam! There are many jobs that require math."

"_My_ future job will."

"…Sam…we both know you're not really going to be an invisible Ninja."

"Not with that attitude."

Freddie's head falls in his hands.

Sam pats his knee. "You're tense."

"Well, obviously. I can't believe you aren't."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, it's not like you were attacked the other night." He retorts.

"I'm telling you, Freddie. It's fine." She says to him.

"I don't see why you're so calm about this." Freddie turns his head away. "When Matt was around, you were freaking out."

"Here's the difference, here. I've dealt with guys like that before—guys my mum brought home. It only takes a few nails to get them to back off. He isn't coming back, I'm telling you. And plus, if he did, my mum would just bill him for damage to her mattress." Sam says softly. "I have no reason to be afraid of them, or anyone for that matter. Matt isn't coming back either."

"Sometimes I can't wait to get out of here." Freddie mutters, laying back down beside her and running a hand through his hair.

Sam is silent for a moment, before saying, "Yeah, well, that date's approaching."

Freddie's hand goes to her curls. "You're not even a little scared or anything?"

"No, Freddie. I'm telling you. They're all talk."

"Hope you're right."

"I always am." Sam says with a smile.

Freddie rolls his eyes.

"When is your mum supposed to be home?" She asks.

"Dunno. She's at some kind of meeting."

"An Aggressive Parenting meeting?"

"Nah. She's at a HAO meeting."

"A what?"

"It stands for Hygiene Awareness Organization."

"Oh." Sam sits back. "Can't I do my homework later?"

"Sam, come on. It's not that hard. It's just fractions."

"The man who invented fractions deserves to burn."

"Egyptians invented fractions as early as 1000 B.C. Pretty amazing, huh? It was so long ago, and they managed to come up with a concept that we all use today. They invented a lot of other things too, it's almost impossible to believe. Oh, and they also—"

Sam's eyes were closed and she didn't seem to be listening.

"…Sam?"

No response.

He prods her shoulder. "Am I really that boring?"

Her eyes shot open, the blue irises coming to life. "Huh? Oh, you were saying something about fractions and I kind of zoned out…"

Freddie glares at her. "Sam, you know you can—" He begins to say, before he remembers something. "Oh, wait, I forgot to show you this…" He pulls his backpack out and pulls out the form. "Carly gave this to me."

"What is it?" Sam takes the paper from him and reads it. "What? Drama club?"

"Yeah. They're doing a show. And they need—"

"I don't act."

"I don't know about that, baby. You're the master of improvisation. You entertain people on iCarly like it's your job. And they're not just looking for actors. They need dancers and such. Carly's doing singing, this much I know." Freddie says.

Sam looks as if she's thinking. "Tell you what. I'll audition—but you have to audition too."

"I can't, Sam. For many reasons." He says with a chuckle. He's learned to laugh at his own expense. "First off, I can't entertain people with humor and such. Second, I get stage fright. Third, I'm already with the tech crew for the play. Fourth, I wouldn't dare ruin the play for anyone else."

"Oh, come on. You aren't that bad…" Sam trails off.

"I'll leave it to you. Blow everyone away with your dancing. You know you love doing it." He says with a smile.

"Okay, I'll do it. On one condition."

"And that is?"

"Stop forcing me to do homework, especially the math kind."

"Sam, you said you'd do better in school…"

"There are more important subjects. Maybe. They're all stupid in their own special way."

"There has to be one thing you've learned from math." Freddie says, exasperated.

"Okay, here's one." Sam sits up and Freddie looks up at her hopefully. "Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray to God you don't multiply."

Freddie hangs his head. "I give up."


	39. Chapter 39: Audition

**(A/N: Long A/N right here, but I suggest you don't skip it. Contains some info you might want to hear.**

** So…we all know that iCarly is ending very soon.**

** And we all know that Dan will make a new show to replace it.**

** I vowed a while ago to not watch that new show. I CANNOT be sucked back into another Dan show. I just can't. I need to get my life back.**

** So, I figured that Dan would just make a new show with a group of teens that are played by people we don't know but would get to know. That'd make the show easier to ignore, right?**

** Of course…then Dan tweeted to someone that his new show is starring Jennette McCurdy.**

** That's right. Jennette gets her own show, just like Miranda Cosgrove and Victoria Justice got their own shows after they side-starred in other classics like Drake And Josh and Zoey 101.**

** Don't get me wrong, I love Jennette's acting. She's fantastic. But…but she won't be a teenager forever. She's almost (or already…) twenty. How much longer can someone be shown as a teenager?**

** And no matter what, it would be too weird to ship her new character with anyone. Because the Seddie in me will never let go. Sigh. All of these fanfictions are a waste in the end, when you think about it. Am I gonna stop writing them? Naw.)**

_39.) Audition (Sam's POV)_

"When do I go on?" Sam asks eagerly.

"In about seven minutes." Freddie responds.

"Is Carly on already?"

"Yes, auditions last five minutes and—"

"What if they want me to act or sing or something?" Sam interrupts.

"Babe, they won't." Freddie says. "They need dancers too."

"It just seems illogical. That they need a star dancer but they have no regards toward whether or not she can sing or act." Sam shrugs.

Freddie stares at her.

"What?" She snaps.

"Did you just say 'illogical' and use it properly in a sentence?"

"Yeah. What of it?" Sam looks at him weirdly.

Freddie grins. "I think I'm rubbing off on ya."

"No you aren't."

"Nooo, I am. See, you're blushing."

"Shut up!" Sam pushes him lightly with her right arm. The arm that causes the least amount of pain. "Can't you see I'm stressed enough."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." He drapes an arm around her waist. "And like I said before, you're a master of improvisation. And let's admit it, you si—"

"No." Sam says immediately. "Freddie, we discussed this."

It was true. Sam has only sung once in front of people, and it hardly counted, since it was a sing-along with Carly and some kids from Hollywood Arts. Besides that, though, her lips are sealed. The only time she ever sings is in the darkness, with Freddie beside her, only after his constant begging. Just to hear her.

"Well, I'm glad." He admits. "I like how you only share those moments with me."

Sam smiles, and then shrugs. "Still. It doesn't mean that I'm not nervous as hell, cuz' I am."

"We'll just diffuse the tension. Why don't you tell me some more of those math jokes?"

"Okay." Sam grins. "Sex is like quadratic expression. If it can't be split, then it's time to stop."

"Do you even get the meaning of that one?"

"Pfft, no." She chuckles. "Mkay…sex is like you're doing fractions. It's improper for the larger one to be on top."

This pulls a laugh from Freddie. "That one was good."

"Having sex is like you're doing math homework. I do it best when I'm alone in my bed." Sam smirks.

"Not in our case, but maybe to some of the guys around here." Freddie gestures to the other members of the tech team behind the stage, none of which were listening.

"Here's the best one. Brace yourself." Sam has to compose herself before saying it. "Squaring numbers is just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head."

Both of them break into laughter. "Where do you get these from?"

**(A/N: ALL CREDIT FOR THESE JOKES GOES TO BO BURNHAM. HE'S AMAZING. LOOK HIM UP ON YOU TUBE. HE IS AN AMAZING SINGER WHO INCORPERATES JOKES INTO HIS SONGS.)**

"Bo Burnham. My favorite singer, next to my favorite band, Blink 182. And by the way, I'd leave you for Bo Burnham any day." Sam says.

"…I really hope you don't mean that."

"Oh, shut up, you know I don't. Not that I have a chance anyway." She winks at him.

"Sam, you know that—" He begins to say, before Carly walks through the door that leads to the stage.

"Sam, I really think I got the part!" She says excitedly to her.

"What song did you sing?" Sam asks her.

"I just played it safe and did Shakespeare. Do you think that was wrong? Maybe I should have—"

"You did fine, Carls." Sam tells her.

Freddie comes up from behind her. "Your turn." He says with a grin.

"I suppose it is. You think I can't butter them up with some Bo Burnham magic?" She asks teasingly.

"You can try, but I don't know how charmed they'll be by it all." Sam shrugs, starting to move towards the stage.

Freddie kisses her forehead. "Good luck, baby."

"I'll need it." She says as she disappears behind the curtain.

* * *

><p>Sam can't help but smile when she opens the curtains again and Freddie is standing not even a foot away. "You didn't peek, did you?"<p>

"No…" He falters at Sam's glare. "Okay, yes. Only because I missed that one time when you danced at your beauty pageant."

"Yeah, well… How'd I do?" She asks, looking at him.

"Fantastic, sweetheart. You are totally gonna get a part, no questions asked." Freddie smiles and puts an arm around her waist. "I got to go and do touch-ups with the lighting. Be right back?"

"Yep." Sam kisses him lightly on the lips and he moves away. She thinks about going to find Carly, but something catches her eye. Her gaze flits downward and she sees something. A note, with something clipped to it, right under the edge of the curtain.

She bends down and grabs it, unfolding the note. She narrows her eyes, trying to make out the messy handwriting.

_"NiCe DaNcInG. aFrAiD sOmEoNe ElSe CaN dO iT aLl ThE sAmE. ;) kEeP tHiS wItH yOu."_

Sam's hand flies to the object attached. It's a wristband. She looks at it closely. It has streaks of pink and black covering it, with accents of white. What is this? Who did it come from?

Sam folds the note and shoves it into her pocket. She'll find out soon enough. She always does.


	40. Chapter 40: Differences

** (A/N: The Hunger Games movie, oh my God. I can't even. Oh my God.**

** I read the books way before the movie was said to be.**

** I've waited over a year since they stated that they were filming.**

** I saw it once at the midnight premiere. It's the reason I haven't updated—I've been too excited.**

** I remember how movie producers RUINED the Percy Jackson movie…and let me say, they did NOT ruin The Hunger Games.**

** It was amazing.**

** Wanna know the sad part? I've been giving up free time so I could earn more money so I can see it AGAIN in theaters. Life = none.)**

_40.) Differences_ _(Freddie's POV)_

"Hey," Sam says. "What is the .01 percent of germs?"

"What?" Freddie looks over at her.

She holds up the bottle filled with the clear hand sanitizer. "It says it kills 99.9 percent of germs. What is the .01?"

Freddie blinks. "I don't know. Good question."

"Maybe it has Chuck Norris genes or something." Sam smiles.

"That'll be the day."

Freddie lifts his head when he hears a slight knock on Sam's door. Sam doesn't move a muscle, she simply yells, "Come in!"

Another blonde slips through the door. "Hi Mel." Sam says, staring back at the hand sanitizer. "Hey, you're smart. Do you know what the .01 percent of germs is?"

Melanie's hair is up in a ponytail, and she fiddles with it nervously. "I'm…going back to PCA."

"Okay." Sam says and leaves it at that.

Freddie nudges her, giving her a look. Sam rolls her eyes and stands up.

"Well… Have a nice flight?" Sam tries.

Melanie stares at her.

"… Don't waste your cash?" She tries again.

Melanie stares at her.

"Don't drop the soap?"

"Sam!" Freddie snaps.

Sam sighs and groans out, "I guess I'll-kinda-sorta-miss-you."

Melanie manages to smile at this. "You could always visit, you know."

"And why would I do that?"

"You can see the beach literally two blocks away from the place. Oh, and there are hot guys." Melanie smiles.

"I like the sound of that."

"Sam!" Freddie hisses again. She turns and smirks at him, and he relaxes, knowing she didn't mean it.

"Well… Bye, then." Sam finishes.

Melanie holds out her arms.

"Come on, you know I hate contact!"

"Please." Melanie pouts.

Sam groans and forces herself to hug Melanie back.

"See?" Freddie says, walking over to them. "That wasn't so bad."

"I can smell your perfume on me." Sam complains to her twin.

Melanie puts her hands on Sam's shoulders and says, "Wait, one last thing."

"What?"

"In biology, they told me something really interesting."

"And that is?"

"The only people on this Earth that have the same DNA as others are identical twins. Well, you're the evil one. And you're a great liar. So if you commit a crime…don't accuse me."

"No promises. Later, Mel." Sam gives her sister a grin and then steps back.

Melanie looks to Freddie for help.

"You're on your own, there." Freddie laughs a bit.

"Keep her in line." Is all Melanie says to him. Then she frowns a bit and says to Sam, "…Is…Mom home?"

Sam just shakes her head helplessly.

Melanie hangs her head and slips out the door.

Sam glances back at where her mother's room was, and she looks furious. "I actually feel bad."

"Did your mother and Melanie even talk while she was here?" Freddie asks.

"I don't think so." Sam admits. "She's been around."

Freddie frowns and sighs. "How can a parent just abandon their children?"

"Other kids have it way worse." Is all she says.

"You have a point." Freddie says.

Sam stares at the ground. "…Hey."

"Yes?"

"When we were younger, did I look…you know?"

"Did you look what?"

"Did I look like someone who just didn't care, or did I actually look underprivileged?"

Freddie stares at her for a while. He remembers his sixth grade year from Sam, and then to the later years of middle school as well. He remembers mocking the rough-and-tumble blonde, yes…but what kind? He only insulted her attitude. He never pointed out her inability to afford things, or when she would wear the same shirt a few days in a row, or the way she would rob food from Carly's refrigerator…

"On some degree, I knew." He tells her softly. "But it's okay…"

"I know it is." Sam mutters. "But still. I can't help but be frustrated."

"You have every right to be." He tells her softly.

"What if I end up like that?" She asks suddenly.

"What?"

"You know. What if I become a parent someday and I turn out to be a total screw-up?"

Freddie stares at her in shock. "Are you really comparing yourself to your mother?"

Sam won't meet his gaze. "Me and my mum aren't that much unalike."

"You seriously believe that?"

"Well…"

"Sam! You're _nothing_ like your mother. I can rattle of a hundred differences."

"Let's hear them."

"Okay," Freddie says. "You actually care for some people. You're not a slut. You don't starve yourself for the sole purpose of being able to get drunk later. You don't do drugs. You care about your life and you aren't going to throw it away. You—"

"Maybe you're right." Sam mutters. "But still. What if my own children suffer?"

"You want to have children someday?" He asks, his eyebrows lifting.

She turns her head away, but he can still see the unmistakable signs of a blush on her cheeks. "Um-well-you know. I don't know. Whichever. Whatever. You know what I mean!"

Freddie laughs a bit. "I'm telling you, Sam. You have nothing to worry about. You're clearheaded and you got everything under control."

"But I've slipped before," Sam protests.

"And I helped you through it! Trust me, okay?"

Sam nods a bit, sighing. "Okay."


	41. Chapter 41: Breakdown Part 1

**(A/N: I will do the second half of this next chapter :3)**

_41.) Breakdown (Part 1) (Sam's POV)_

She didn't get it.

Sam didn't consider herself to be unreasonable. She came across that way, obviously, but she knew in her head that half the stuff that spewed out of her mouth was B.S. Why she says it, then? It varies. Maybe just to insult, or an attempt to convince herself that she's better than the other. It never works.

But anyway, back to the point. She's sitting in class and once again her mind wanders. Some think that when that happens, she's thinking of food or sleeping or more food. And usually, it is food. Not today.

She glances over at obvious eyecandy a few seats down. She doesn't know his name, nor cares to know, so she'll just call him "eyecandy". She turns her head and easily sees that most of the girls' gazes are on him, even Carly's.

Her gaze wanders to her boyfriend. He doesn't notice it; all he is aware of is what his teacher is saying.

See, this is what Sam's talking about. Or thinking, technically.

It seems as if all it takes is a pretty face these days. That personality or character doesn't play a role. And it's true—Sam thinks like that sometimes. But sometimes she feels that she is the only girl among her class that sees the other perspective.

She glances back at Freddie again, and she notices the way he stares up at the teacher, absorbing whatever material Sam couldn't be bothered to listen to.

She remembers when, months ago, when they had a "Karma Party", some preppy girls that could have only been invited by Carly were all over Freddie. Why? Because of a skit they did, a parody of Twilight. All because he could make his voice seductive, they were all over him like pink-colored flies.

Even then, it irritated Sam. Not because she was jealous…all right, lay off, quit looking at her that way. It just annoyed her because some girls really thought they were "hopelessly in love" with him all because he changed his voice? That's all.

Even then it annoyed her, because really? She wasn't dating Freddie then, but still. She _knew_ Freddie then. Better than most do. Even better than Carly. Those girls couldn't even take the time to get to _know_ him first, to know the person that Sam trusted with everything, so they can actually know the person who was worth loving.

Sam would have never admitted it then, but she isn't as ignorant as most think. Sure, she abuses Freddie both physically and mentally, she isn't a fool. She uses cover-ups, sure, to hide the real truth.

She remembers in 6th grade, Carly going off about how there are no real guys left anymore. How all of them were fake and such. Sam always wanted to scream out, "Yes, because it's not like there's a boy across the hall that's given you a million chances".

And that's why she was happy when Creddie ended. Not because she necessarily loved Freddie then. That boy gave Carly so many chances, always came back for her. And what did Carly do? She liked empty-headed "hot" guys who always wind up breaking her heart. Where's the logic, here?

She remembers Freddie saying that Carly had been his first crush. So maybe that was why he was so obsessive-compulsive. Or maybe he just had OCD. His mum sure has it. Few go as far as to steal hospital-brand cleaning supplies after her dealer ran out.

She glances at Freddie _yet again,_ and another thought crosses her mind.

Call her cliché, but when the hell did he get so attractive? In sixth grade she was taller than him, tougher than him, stro—no, she's still stronger. She knows that. It's unquestionable. But now, what the hell? It's not even fair.

She's seen girls crushing on him. Nothing serious, but it's serious to her. Especially after they broke up the first time. Yes, that sent scarlet fire down her spine. She can feel herself digging her fingernails in the wooden desk when she remembers the two girls both Freddie and Gibby were sort of hitting on right around the time they got into a band. The brunette girl bothered Sam the most. She didn't know why...

_It's in the past,_ she tells herself. Freddie even admitted it after they got back together that it was revenge. Revenge for the time when Sam hit on the guys from One Direction. But _come on,_ they were just eyecandy…

It was upsetting, really, looking back on after they broke up the first time. _The only time,_ Sam adds silently. But back to the fact, she remembers the pure sadism that she churned out. It used to be natural for her. But now she had to resist the urge to cuddle up to him, to take every chance to touch his shoulder or something like that. It leaked the first couple times, when he was feeling low about his absence of humor. But she had to stay tough, had to be cruel.

He may have used to like it but it this was a whole new level. Flirting with other guys any time she had the chance. Being cruel and sadistic to him. Demeaning him. She even tried to use Spencer once, but that had been out of line. Acting as if she didn't care…

Of course he once said that Carly cared about him and Sam didn't. Why else would he think that?

For some reason she can hear Freddie's "vampire" voice in her head, and she rolls her eyes. Pfft, please. Vampire voice? She didn't need any vampire voice. Just let her see that smirk of his, the one he used to use every day but now only saves it for her, and she's sold.

Yes, he was attractive. And it irritates her when people call him weak or unattractive. Because number one, that was her job, and number two, it isn't true. Only she can say that because they both know it's untrue now. She always was a great liar.

But she doesn't care. Let those people call him those names. Go ahead. Because, guess what? He didn't belong to any of them. And any girls who shunned him before and realize that he's drop-dead gorgeous now and decide to make a "switch of heart", they can just back off. He was Sam's now. And she isn't willing to share.

And one in a while, girls do have a switch of heart towards him. But he never acts on it and all she can do is be thankful and fill the girl's car with bees.

Even if they do like his appearance, that's not what finally claimed Sam in the end. The way he acts towards anyone, how he treats everyone, even her, with such respect is just insane. How he can do that for so long is really beyond her.

She can trust him with anything and everything. Even before they dated, she gave herself to him, kissed him that night in the lock-in. He could have done anything he wanted with her, humiliated her, ended her. But he didn't. And even if he didn't like her back, then what? He wouldn't have hurt her. No matter what circumstance, no matter what point in history, she can trust this boy with her heart.

So go on, girls, keep on complaining about how there are no "real guys". It's a shame, because Sam hooked one of the last ones. And that will not change.

She glances over at him again, and whoops, he was looking back at her. It's funny how fast her gaze flits away. Even if they are dating, she'll never give him the satisfaction of letting him catch her checking him out in public. She knows he's still looking with that smirk of his and she keeps her eyes trained ahead, trying to find a way to hide the blush that was rising to her cheeks.

Because he's the only one who's allowed to make her blush.


	42. Chapter 42: Breakdown Part 2

_42.) Breakdown (Part 2) (Freddie's POV)_

He always had a funny way of always thinking.

Yes, thinking. He has never been outside himself, because he will forever be Freddie Benson. He never got to be in someone else's body, mostly in their mind.

He doesn't know if anyone else thinks the way he does. If other people have the same process of dissecting things. What if he is the only one he does things the way he does? What if the color blue is not the same blue to others? Or what if what sounds like something to him sounds like something different to someone else?

See, that's what happens when he thinks too carefully about things.

He would be listening to the lecture, but he doesn't. Why? He learned this last year. He hated it when they repeat lessons that was clearly covered last year. Such a waste of time. Still, he takes notes. He might as well, right?

He was going to stretch over and ask Carly if them and Sam would like to hang later that day with Brad, who was probably bummed about Melanie leaving, so they could cheer him up. But then he notices that she's still trying to hit on the "attractive" guy who transferred into their class. Pfft. Girls.

He can't help but roll his eyes at how Carly can have a change of heart towards any guy in seemingly thirty minutes. He hears an English teacher in his head say something along the lines of "irony", but he doesn't bother to ponder it.

It's just…she's so different from him and Sam. He's been attracted to other girls, yes, but not like that. Not obsessive compulsive. There was Carly, yes, and obviously Sam, but that was it. No one else really makes lasting impressions on him.

Of course, he's been over Carly for years—and that was a relief. It's about time that his first crush finally released the hold on him. Crushes are crushes, yes. Infatuation. Not serious. Romeo and Rosaline. Once you get over it, it never comes back. And that's how he knew it wasn't real.

Freddie's felt jealously before. Yes, for several girls, although it's short-lived. Usually jealously was just a routine he had to get over. The formula was the same: girl who he either liked or was at least attracted to likes someone else. Usually eyecandy. He gets irritated, brushes it off, and forgets her. The end.

That's jealously, right?

Well, that's what he thought.

He remembers when the guys from _One Direction _came to be on iCarly. They weren't that bad of a band, but they were nothing special to him.

But of course, Sam has to use them against him. Flirt with them. Do that Eskimo-kiss thing that used to drive Freddie crazy. Right in front of him, too.

He never really had a poker face, so his gaze flitted away at the time and he refused to look back up. _Don't look up. Don't look up. Don't look up. Because that's exactly what she wants you to do._

If he thought he was jealous before, it didn't compare to the liquid fire that ran through his veins at that moment.

Sam always fights dirty, but even after all they went through? Really?

So he got back at her by flirting around as well. Two can play at this game. But who won? No one. No one at all. It just caused them more pain in the long run.

Before they started dating, Freddie knew how to deal with Sam. Her cuts and bruises hardly make a dent in him anymore. Or her words, because over time he learned that she didn't mean all of it.

But afterwards? Sure, he used to like the torture. But now, it isn't what he wants. He likes the little quirks that remind him that he is in fact dating the blonde-haired demon, but the pure sadism is just too much.

What, did she sense that the physical hurt didn't bother him anymore? Okay. So what's next? Play with his feelings? Get in his head? She knew him too well—he told her everything about him. Well, not everything, because he didn't have to. She figured out the rest for herself.

And she turned it into a weapon against him.

Yet, it was in the past, but still. He doesn't want that to happen again. When Freddie gets attached, he gets _attached._ People saw how obsessive he was over Carly. And that doesn't even hold a candle to where he and Sam were at now.

He doesn't want a repeat of "the break-up". They have their spats and their one-day break-ups but those never last. He doesn't want them to be split up again. He didn't think they would break up the first time, but look what happened! It can't happen again…

_It won't happen again,_ he tells himself. That's probably the only good thing about the break-up. It had enhanced the bond, sealed it even. That's all it was good for. _He hopes…_

It also carved out a good year of their lives that could have been spent for happier times. And it would have spared both of them the heartache, too. She later confessed that it had bothered her as well, all of the torture the two did to each other, but he can still remember how he felt too.

He's always had to deal with posts on the website saying how hot both Carly and Sam were. And he could get the people at Ridgeway to back off, too. It was true—Sam has grown a lot since 6th grade. She's gone from rough-and-tumble pretty to something hard to tear your eyes away from. So the extra attention she wasn't aware of getting was easy to back down because no one seemed willing to mess with Freddie anymore.

But…what could he possibly do when she flirted with others? Luckily she doesn't do it anymore, well obviously since the break-up was a thing of the past. But he felt so helpless during those moments, so angry…

In some alternative universe, had he fallen for someone else, his life would be easier. But no matter what, he wouldn't want it any other way. Fate has put wear-and-tear on him for as long as he can remember.

He glances back at Sam, who was digging her fingernails into her desk.

But every step of the way was worth it.

She looks up at him, and her gaze flits away. He sees her cheeks darken and he can't help but be grateful that things ended up this way. Even if it's such a rough path that is undoubtedly not over, he doesn't want anything to be different. She hurts him and heals him at the same time. It's addicting torture…

Smirking, he pulls a piece of paper out of his notebook and scribbles the words on it before passing it to Sam:

_What are you staring at, Puckett?_

The response is thrown at his head, and he chuckles before he reads the response:

_U werre starin 1__st__, benson._

Another idea pops into his head and he writes one more message:

_Very cute. Class is over in three minutes. Meet me at the Courtyard?_

The next message is handed to him, not thrown:

_Meet u their ;)_


	43. Chapter 43: April 9th

**(A/N: I thought the One Direction episode was kind of weak... One, I don't care for the band. Two, the episode got cut short for the singing at the end. And I think I know what Dan is doing. He's putting tiny bits of Creddie so they will shut up and sit down while we patiently wait for endgame Seddie.**

**But seriously, Carly, don't call Freddie hot. Not even just for Seddie. You don't deserve him after rejecting him so many times. Just like in that old Avril Lavigne song, Sk8ter Boi, "See the man that boy could be". Too bad, Shay, he's Sam's now .**

**The ending with Zayn was funny, but why the elevator? Grr. Salt.)**

_42.) April 9th (Sam's POV)_

"I thought your new year's resolution was to stop eating cereal with root beer." Carly complains.

"I gave up after on January 2nd." Sam responds, taking another bite. "I just love the stuff."

"You're ridiculous."

"You only live once, right?"

Carly rolls her eyes. "What are you doing, anyway? Shouldn't you be with Freddie?"

"I'm hanging out with him later." Sam gives Carly a sideways glance. "…Why do you think I should be with Freddie right now?"

"Oh, you know." Carly gives her a look.

Sam puts her bowl on the table. "You know, I don't really like this holiday."

"_How?_ It's when you—"

"I liked what happened three days later." Sam clarifies. "This day…It's kind of painful."

"How?"

Sam shakes her head. "You wouldn't get it."

"But I would. Clarify."

"That day, and the time beforehand, were just torture." Sam explains. "I spent so much time trying to deny everything, and what happens? I lose control and do something forbidden."

"But it got you everything."

Those words echo in Sam's head. "…Yes. But the complete opposite could have happened."

"Just be glad you had the guts to make a move!"

"You don't get it, Shay! I was terrified. I hate being like that. I never want to be in that place again."

"You won't be." Carly pats her shoulder.

Sam is silent for a moment. "…Remember how I pushed Freddie into that hydrant?"

"Yes. He still has hearing loss."

"Remember how I said sorry?"

"Yeah. I still can't believe it." Carly laughs.

"How could you guys have not have guessed? I was so mad for almost giving it away." Sam shakes her head.

Carly glances at her bowl. "You should probably eat your cereal. It's getting soggy."

"That's good. It's absorbing the root beer."

"That's disgusting, Sam."

"Yeah, well. I don't judge your beliefs." Sam shrugs.

"You call me prissy at least twice a day."

"Thanks for the reminder; I haven't called you that today. You're prissy."

There's a knock on the door; Freddie walks in moments later.

"And I'm going upstairs." Carly says, immediately standing up and heading for the stairs.

"But, I didn't even—" Sam begins to say.

Carly is half-way up the stairs before she turns around and gives Sam and Freddie a grin. "I'm not coming back."

Freddie waits until she is out of earshot before he smirks down at Sam. "It's time."

"Time for what?"

"For this."

Freddie sits on the other side of the table before putting his arm on the table.

"Arm wrestle me."

Sam's eyes widen. "You're nuts."

"I don't think so."

"You want me to hurt you?"

"You're delusional. Come on, Puckett, we all know the truth. Let's do this."

Sam rolls her eyes. "Forget it. You're going to embarrass yourself."

"I think you're wrong." Freddie smiles at her. "Scratch that. I _know_ you're wrong. I can beat you at this, Sammy. I'm physically stronger than you now."

"No, you're not!"

"Fine, if you're so sure, then you shouldn't be afraid to do this."

Sam grips the edges of the couch. "No. I don't need to prove myself."

"Do it. You want to know the answer as much as I do."

_There's no way,_ she tells herself. _I could beat him with a flick of my wrist. He can't do this. He'll fail. And it'll just give me another reason to tease him._

"You're on, Benson." Sam smirks. "Let's dance."

She kneels on the other end of the table and puts her hand with Freddie's. After calling it, he almost immediately tries to pull her under.

_Patience, grasshopper._ She grins to herself. Silly nutkin. She always goes for the kill right when they think they are about to win. She always does this.

But when she does, he doesn't go all the way to the other end. He holds his ground, pressing down hard, his cheeks flushing. She bites down on her lip, abandoning all techniques she once had and just using all the strength she had left to pull down…he's rising up…he's gonna—

_"Pow!"_ Freddie yelps out loud, before going off and cheering even more. Sam stares at her own hand, lying on the table. She hears Freddie ramble about how long he has waited for this day, or how she can't brag anymore, so yada yada yada…

Sam glares at Freddie. "This isn't over." She snarls.

"Yes, it is. I won here."

"It's just an arm wrestle. Just wait. You really want to duke it out? You're gonna be dead by the end of this, Benson." Sam digs her fingernails into the table until her fingers are white.

"Mhm. Sure." Freddie says sarcastically, before reaching forward to toy with one of her curls. She moves away from him, shooting a glare in his direction, and he frowns. "Don't be mad, baby."

"I am."

"I thought you'd like this. I mean, last year at this date, we were broken up."

"Yeah, well. I don't like losing—which I didn't."

"Yes, you are very right. Sam Puckett did not lose to Freddie Benson in a wrestling match. Freddie Benson is not stronger than Sam Puckett. Sam Puckett is not in denial that her boyfriend is stronger than her."

Sam crosses her arms over her chest, and she feels Freddie move to the other side of the table and hug her.

"I'm only teasing." He says. He smiles down at her. "To think, it was only two years ago, but it feels like a lifetime."

Sam stares at him. "You had a really weird come-over around then."

Freddie runs a hand through his hair, looking self-conscious. "I got a hair cut in those three days."

"Thank God you did." Sam says, earning another look. "Oh, come on. I'm mad at you."

"Well, you shouldn't be." Freddie murmurs, pulling her closer. "Cuz today and three days from now is supposed to be special."

"What do you count our anniversary as? These couple of days or the second time we get back together?" Sam asks.

Freddie blinks. "Huh. Never thought about that."

"I like three days from now better." Sam murmurs.

"I like all of them."

Sam shrugs. "It's just…I tried to run. And you followed me."

"I'll always follow you. You'd come back for me if the same happened, right?"

"Well…" Sam says, getting a look from Freddie. "Oh, don't look at me like that, you know I would."

Sam lays her head against his chest, and Freddie strokes her hair gently, toying with the curls.

"Thanks." He suddenly says.

"For what?" She asks in confusion.

"For actually making a move. You act like you're so strong all the time, but I knew things like that aren't your forte." Freddie murmurs.

"_Because you never know what might happen if you don't—_" Sam lowers her voice to sound like Freddie, purposely cutting herself off.

"_Okay Benson, we get it. You want to humiliate me in front of millions of people. Go ahead and just do it, I don't care, get back at me for all the means things I've—_" Freddie says, making his voice higher to sound like Sam's, and she rolls her eyes.

"Well, uh, you know. Thanks for, uh, coming back for me, and not letting me get humiliated, and—"

"What was that?" Freddie's eyes glint. "You kind of rushed the last part."

"I said thanks for coming back." Sam repeats herself. "Not many do."

Freddie smiles. "You never even had to leave. You have to trust me sometimes."

"I trust you…"

"You still won't tell me where your secret bacon stash in your house is."

"No, really, Freddie." Sam looks down, not meeting his eyes. "I don't have…you know, that many people to trust like that. You know, so…"

Freddie holds her close. "Don't thank me," He says softly. "I'm sorry it was a struggle for you. Still, I couldn't help but love the shock on your face at Troubled Waters." He ends that with a smile.

**(****A/N: Here marks the year since I started becoming obsessed with iCarly…You see, I always kind of liked the show, but I always thought Drake and Josh were better. I liked Seddie since iKiss, and I was really put down in iThink They Kissed, but then I sort of forgot about them. Around the beginning of March last year I was playing Minecraft like a boss, and I listened to the entire first run of the commercial of iOMG and I was half-listening to it. A few minutes after it aired I suddenly paused the game and thought, "…wait, what?" I then went up to my room and waited for the commercial to play again…and I screamed when it did xD**

**…I think I want to cry…)**


	44. Chapter 44: Mermaid

**(A/N: I got purple streaks in my hair for Seddie. Well not just for Seddie but it's a nice add-on. But the hairdresser screwed up and made the other parts of my hair black, which I didn't want. It looks like emo scene drag queens got their black-crackled nails into my hair. Sigh. I'm embarrassed to be out in public.)**

_44.) Mermaid (Freddie's POV)_

"_Freddie, wake up!"_

His eyes shoot open.

Sam's blue eyes are less than an inch away from his. He springs up, trying to cover the Galaxy Wars covers before remembering that she has already seen them and hiding them was a waste of time.

"Sam! What are you doing here?"

"You have _got_ to see this!" She puts her Pearphone in front of his face, the light hurting his eyes. He looks at the top of the screen and sees that the time is _3:18 a.m. _He shouldn't be awake for another four hours at least.

"Sam, I don't wanna—"

"Just shut your mouth and watch!" The Splash Face video loads up and Freddie struggles to focus.

The video appears blurry against his exhausted eyes and he manages to focus. All he sees is green walls and crystalline water. After closer inspection he sees some fish swimming around.

"So that's what's exciting?" Freddie says incredulously. "Fish?"

"Keep watching." Sam says, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"But I don't wanna—"

"_Look!"_ Sam almost screams out, grasping his shoulder so hard he's sure she'll leave bruises.

He watches as the camera moves off to the left. It just barely catches a fish tail moving in a horizontal way just swimming away.

"Did you see it? You saw it, right?" Sam asks him eagerly. "Freddie?"

"You got that excited over a fish?"

"That's not a fish!" She protests. "Watch it again."

Sam rewinds the video and he sees it all again. As the tail whips away from the camera, Freddie still sees nothing unusual.

"I still see a fish."

"It's a mermaid you idiot! Don't you see the hands at her sides?"

Freddie stares at her. "You seriously think it's a mermaid?"

"Yes! What else could it be?"

"A girl with a fish tail?"

Sam stares at him in disbelief. "You don't believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe you. I don't believe the guy who filmed it."

"Non-believer!" Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

"Mermaids are a myth, baby. They don't exist."

"Gibby is a mermaid!"

"Sam," Freddie lays his head back down. "Can we argue about this later, say, in the light of day?"

"No." Sam straddles his waist, staring down at him. "Explain how mermaids can't be real."

"We can't assume something is real until it is proven by Man."

"Well aliens are real, and the government is just keeping them a secret!"

"Aliens haven't actually been proven."

"Gah!" Sam buries her hands in her hair. "This is ridiculous!"

"I'm just saying," Freddie sits up, yawning. "We would have discovered them by now."

"Two percent of the ocean has been discovered, Freddie. There's plenty of room for them to hide. And they can have legs, too, as long as they don't get wet. That explains Gibby."

"I don't even know how to respond to that." Freddie says, shaking his head.

"I'm sharing this on Splash Face." Sam says, typing on her Pearphone. "Maybe there are logical people in the world who agree with me."

"Or maybe you're crazy." Freddie mutters.

Sam rolls her eyes. "Yes, says the boy who believes that MMORPGs are the future."

"Oh, come on! Never before have people been able to live in an alternate universe with other people from around the world as their opponents and allies! Actually—"

Sam suddenly frowns. "Wait, what?"

"What's the matter?"

"This guy keeps messaging me. Look."

Freddie moves closer, reading the text.

"a LiTtLe BrOwSiNg On ThE wEb CaN tAkE yOu A lOnG wAy ;)"

Sam looks irritated. "This guy won't stop texting me, ever. It's so annoying."

"Why haven't you told me this before?" Freddie frowns.

"Why would I? It's harmless."

"It still would have been nice if you told me." Freddie shrugs.

"The only time he messaged me before was when I was auditioning. He slipped a note and gave me this." She reaches for her purse, pulling out a small wristband. "See?"

Freddie looks at it. The pink, black, and white wristband didn't belong to Sam but it could definitely fit on her wrist.

"I could track him." Freddie tells her. "You have his number?"

"No, it's restricted." Sam holds her Pearphone up.

"I can still break through that. Then we can find out who he is." Freddie says.

"Okay." She gives a tiny half-shrug. "Sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't think it was a big deal."

Freddie sits up. "It's okay. Well, now that I'm awake, I might as well start tracking the number. It's going to be hard, because he was smart enough to be put himself as restricted, but I know how to crack it. I did this before, when some guy was stalking Carly a year ago. First you have to—"

He looks over at Sam to see if she was listening, but instead, she was asleep.

"Sam, I know you're faking it!" He protests. He crosses his arms over his chest. "Sam!" Still no response.

Rolling his eyes, he decides that he might as well try to fall back asleep. He was never too good at that, but he might as well try. Right before he manages to drift off again Sam's cell phone lights up. He was about to just leave it when he hears it vibrate again. And then again.

Checking it, he realizes it is the same number. He had sent the same text several times. But why? He reads what was typed.

"YoU cAn'T iGnOrE mE fOrEvEr, BlOnDiE. YoU'lL bE sUrPrIsEd At WhAt YoU fInD."

**(A/N: Sorry this was kind of a crap chapter, but I wrote it in a half hour after I saw a very convincing mermaid video. I'm sure it's fake but I like watching videos of that stuff. It's a guilty pleasure.)**


	45. Chapter 45: FUCK IT

** (A/N: If you thought this was an update, you're wrong. Sucks, huh?**

** First off…**

** Why?**

** "Boys are cute when they sleep" was painful. "Hot Pants" was more painful...er?**

** The other tiny Creddie hints after the arc were stupid, pointless…**

_**"Is it too late for you to love me?"**_

** That's it.**

** And on this day, April 21****st****, 2012, Oceanmistsupporter of the Seddie Fandom has boycotted the show.**

** I will not watch a single episode until the last one.**

** To Dan Schneider,**

** Why?**

** Sincerely, every fucking Seddie fan in the history of the world.**

** I will probably break this promise soon but until then, fuck it. I'm done.**

** I'm gonna continue screaming since the only ears that will hear it are my dogs who look very concerned for me right now. They live up to "Man's Best Friend" in every way, shape, and form. One of them crawled into my lap and refuses to move. I knew she was my favorite.**

** I want to stop typing and go in my room and attempt to die, but I want to express how I feel about this. Words do not describe how furious I am right now.**

** What are you playing at, Dan?**

** I can understand the little hints to make the Creddiers happy, but this…**

** I hate everything. I hate the show for sucking me in. I hate Seddie for being so damn shippable. I hate Creddie for being Creddie.**

** I'm still gonna update this but I'm not going to have any new references from the show since I boycotted it.**

** Another thing:**

** Dear Dan Schneider,**

** If you claim that the show isn't about romance, then why do you put so much ship-war available stuff in your show?**

** Unless there's an arc featuring it or an episode featuring it, why do this?**

** Why?**

** I'm gonna go die now. Later.) **


	46. Chapter 46: Guilt

**(A/N: Sorry it's been forever since I updated…I've been on writer's block I guess. Just like the "Tales Of Mere Existence" guy said, you can only go on for so long dishing out words until they just dry out. But eventually you manage to find them again. Any writing I've been doing the past week or so has been original work, because I wasn't writing anything for this.)**

_46.) Guilt (Sam's POV)_

"Now, you see," Sam says. "You need to typically cook bacon, right? Well, I usually just eat it cooked, but in this case, we only have turkey bacon. That's precooked, so eating it right out of the fridge is just fine. Here, try some."

She bends down, letting her puppy lick the bacon off her fingers. "Isn't that wonderful?" She says. "That's what you're named for."

She strengthens up. "And this is ham. Ham is fabulous, too. You know, all meat is good, but no one really seems to appreciate it."

Sam stuffs a slice of bacon into her mouth. "Freddie's always bringing me meat." She says to her dog. "I would have said a few years ago that it's all he's good for, but he's good for other things now. Like labor."

She hears her phone go off. Seeing the caller ID, she sees the picture of Freddie, and she answers it.

"What's up, boy?"

"Hey, Sam. Can I come over?"

Something about his tone of voice wasn't right. "Why, what's up?"

"Can I just, please? We need to talk." Freddie says, and Sam frowns. Call her a hypocrite, but now she realizes how annoying it is when he doesn't tell her what's the matter. She does that all the time though.

"Come on over." She says, hanging up. She pets the fur in-between Bacon's ears. "I wonder what the deal is. Nothing fazes that boy anymore. Maybe they cancelled something on the Sy-Fy channel."

She waits in anticipation, biting off the almost professionally painted nails that Carly took so long to do for her, until she sees the light from a car leak through her window. A minute later the door opens, and Freddie comes in, shaking water from his hair.

"It's raining out there?" She asks.

"It's always raining here." Freddie says in a monotone voice, shrugging and taking his jacket off.

"What's the matter?" She asks.

He sighs, holding up his phone. She takes it, seeing that the screen was showing a list of recent calls. At the very top, she sees the name, "Dad".

"Your dad called you?"

"Yup. He says it's 'been months' since we've 'seen each other'." He puts quotations around both, putting emphasis on the words. "It's been more like years."

"What exactly did he say?"

"He found out about you. He wants to meet you."

Sam lifts her eyebrows. "No he doesn't."

"You don't want to meet my father." Freddie shakes his head. "And frankly, I don't want to go over there, either."

"Then don't." Sam says, and attempts to leave it at that.

"It's different, Sam. I can just ignore him and that would be the end of it, but I don't like having these…" He trails off.

"Having these what?"

"Having these…unfinished endings. It makes me feel like a jerk that I don't call him. So if he calls me, and I ignore him, I just feel like it's not the right thing to do."

Sam tips her head to one side. "You can't always do the right thing."

"Isn't that the truth…" He runs a hand through his hair repeatedly. "Maybe he wants to talk about what I'm going to do after high school."

"That's a good thought." Sam points out. "Once we escape to Massachusetts, then we'll have a reason to not talk to him, or to not talk to anyone we hate."

Freddie smiles at that. "Good point. And the rain will stop, too."

"Yup." Sam bites her lip, not admitting that she'll miss the storms that smack against the cheap roof that covers her head.

"But…maybe I should go talk to him." Freddie looks at her. "I mean, soon we'll be out of here…it's something I gotta do."

"Are you sure?" She frowns. "You don't have to, you know that, right?"

"In a way I do. But I feel like if I do…it'll relieve some of the guilt. Even if I can't stand him." He digs his fingernails into his palms; Sam can see the tension in his wrists. "I hate the fact how he gets remarried but never calls us, I hate the fact that he has four other children and then forgets about me until it's in his best interest to call me, and I hate that—"

Sam moves closer to him, taking his hands in her own. "You don't have to do this."

Freddie looks down at her. "Can you come with me? He said he wanted to meet you."

Sam's eyes widen. "That's a horrible idea. You want him to disown you?"

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You act like you're terrible all the time but when we're alone, you're sweet."

"Only to you. You know how I'm going to act, and I can't even control it. I'd make comments and I'd be rude, you know that. Hell, I interrupted the First Lady without a thought."

"Well you hate her because she made the schools remove French fries from the menu."

"Yeah, and I hate your dad because he all but left you, just like mine did!" Sam sighs, looking at the floor. "Are you sure you want me to come? I'll just screw it all up."

"I know. And if you do…" He puts his arms around her waist. "Give him hell, will you?"

Sam chuckles. Okay, she can do this. She can control herself, if she tries. She'll do this for Freddie, because unlike her, he actually feels guilt about his parents. That's what Freddie does; if something goes wrong, anything really, he'll find a way to make it his fault.

So she owes it to him. She owes Freddie a lot, actually. So she'll do this, she'll bite her tongue and listen to whatever his dad has to say. Even if he doesn't deserve it.


	47. Until Next Time, Guys

** Hey guys.**

** Look, I know I sort of pulled a "Scumbag Steve" meme in the last few months. I promise to update frequently and then lol, it is months later.**

** So I think I'm done writing on here for now. I've lost inspiration for this show, so I'm just going to wait for November to come like everyone else to see what happens to Seddie. Until then, I don't know, I guess I really lost interest in writing this.**

** But I would like to thank all of you. They say that reviews keep you going, and they really, really do. I felt like I got to know some of you. I wish I could thank you guys in some other way. I think I can honestly say this has been my best writing experience. This passes up getting the highest grade on my screenplay in a class, but I don't even think the professor read it. They say most people hate criticism, but that's what moved me along, guys. I look at earlier work I wrote on here and I can't help but ask myself, "Why did you even keep reading in the first place?" But of course, I will probably look at what I'm writing now in six months and say the same thing. But slowly, with your help, I've become better. Who knows? I might find myself on this site again, not writing, just reading. There are so many talented writers on here, with stories they haven't finished yet (cough—iLove You So Now What—cough—Signal Fire—cough).**

** I haven't stopped writing, though. I've been writing my own fiction work nonstop, and I'm still debating on putting it on Fictionpress . com. I've been talking to someone from Loconeal Publishing, which is more serious, but then again I'm still wary about it. If anyone wants to read it (you don't, trust me, it's nothing like what I write on here) then you can PM me or leave a review.**

** Again, thank you for this almost-year on here (just shy of a few months). I may return to celebrate the comeback of Seddie this November, and if Seddie does not pull through, then just assume that I am curled up in my shower crying.**

** Thanks again, love you guys :)**

** ~Oceanmistsupporter**


	48. Keep Hope Alive

Hey,

I'm writing this six minutes after the end of the finale. I kind of figured that I'd be a crying mess but honestly, I didn't shed a tear. I teared up, surely (Especially at the part where Spencer and Carly were saying goodbye, and how to never grow up and stuff) but I didn't actually cry. I'm alright.

The outcome is what it is. I can't change it, you can't change it, no one can. I didn't really think that ending would happen; it was neither Seddie or Creddie. Well, I guess it was a Creddie ending, for if it were reversed to Seddie I would consider it endgame. But I wouldn't be satisfied.

I did not watch a single episode of iCarly since the episode _iOwn A Restaurant_ premiered; this was the first one after that. I attempted to record my reaction to the entire hour-length episode, but my shitbox of a computer froze on me half way through, and I figured it was pointless to set it up again.

Okay, now to the real point. I'm sorry, fellow Seddiers, that this happened. Okay, now I'm tearing up again. Not even for what happened in the episode, that's not why I'm sad. We _wasted_ so much time on here, for what? There are _so many_ great fanfictions on here, it blows my mind away.

And the truth is, I wasn't really attached to the show like I used to be. I was attached to the world we all created within it. If I was in a Seddie mood, I would never go and watch the show. I'd go on this website and I'd read all the of the wonderful stories on here. The show wasn't able to capture what I thought Seddie was when you guys could. _Here_ was my loyalty, _this_ is the place I cared about. I didn't want any of your hard work and dedication to go to waste.

Okay, now I'm really crying now as I think about this. Remember _Signal Fire_ by FMellark? I would have a little spasm every time she updated. It was such a brilliant world, pulled from a war, and you managed to mix Seddie into it. I was so, so upset when you stopped updating. I was always hoping you'd come back, but you never did.

Or what about _The Ballad Of Sam and Freddie_ by eleanorr1gby? In both of those stories (there were two parts) you wanna know how many words were in there? 924,940 words all together. According to iGoodbye, that was all a waste. All of it.

It really amazed me how attached I got to some of these stories. I would shake and tremble every time I saw that _iWTF_ by WhiteKnightro was updated. According to Dan, the entire 5-episode Seddie arc that started with iOMG hadn't mattered. So what was the point of writing all of this? No reason. Just no reason.

I'm going to have to delete about 3/4s of my Word Document files. Why? Because they all are the fanfiction that I once wrote and posted here. I'm not going to learn anything from them, and I'm surely not going to read any of it again. I guess I'm so bitter about doing that because I wrote only a day ago, a 5,000 word piece about what happened after iCarly. I wasn't confident that Seddie was going to happen (that's why I rage-quit) but I felt like I had to write it for some reason. I'm not going to regret deleting it. It's clear that I won't need it.

I managed to forget about iCarly, actually; at least until the commercials for iGoodbye came on. I started writing my own work, but I won't get into how I wrote over 60,000 words before slowly quitting and giving up as my confidence was lost. That's another thing this site had. The praise, the uplifting feeling of writing for a couple that was eventually destroyed. This site and everyone that is on here was not a waste. You all did so much for Seddie, but it wasn't enough for Dan at least.

Furthermore, thank you for all of the happiness. I wish I could find a new fandom and we could all meet up there and be all happy again, but I already promised that I will _not_ find a new show to like. From this moment on, I'm sticking to shows that don't do this to us. Shows like _Arrested Development_ and _Workaholics._ And I will not watch the spinoff series _Sam & Cat._

Thank you for all of the amazing fanfics, all of the laughs, all of the debates. I'll always remember this place, everything about it, even if I want to pretend that Seddie was all a dream and that I can go back to living my life and thinking that none of this ever happened.

I wish I never saw that trailer for iOMG.

Well, that's all I really have to say. I'd appreciate if you guys would review so I could reply and we can be upset together for the last time.

Special thanks to Dan for teaching me that a little kid crush is far more important than true love. I bet Dan would advise me to go and call my first crush that I had in 5th grade who is now wasting his savings buying cocaine. But I should be "destined" for him because after all, _he_ was first!

Keep Hope Alive,

Oceanmistsupporter


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